Page 5 of Forsaking His Mate (The Wolves of Black Mountain #1)

Chapter 5

Tessa

I feel numb. As I sit against the wall, my knees drawn to my chest, a deep ache grows inside me. The tile is cold beneath me, but I barely register it. I found my mate, something I never thought would happen, and he rejected me.

My stomach is in knots and my pulse is fluttering wildly in my throat. I lost my pack, which felt like I was being cleaved in two, and now my mate.

The door opens and I scent Hester before she kneels down in front of me. “Tessa?” She says my name low and soft.

I open my eyes and meet hers. “I can’t stay here.”

“You can’t leave either,” she says. “Those hunters are still looking for you. They’ll find you if you move beyond the wards.”

Helplessness washes through me, my gut hard as a rock as I hug my knees to my chest. “He rejected me.”

“I know.”

“Who is he? ”

“His name is Abel. He was a lone wolf before he came here.”

“He’s not tau?”

Hester shakes her head. “No. There may be male tau, but I’ve never seen one.”

He’s here to torment me, to destroy what little hope I have. I swipe at my nose, trying to calm my wolf down. She desperately wants me to go after Abel and make him see sense, but my body is rooted in place. I’ve never been rejected before. My pack loved me, despite my differences. My father made sure I was always welcome in my home.

This… this is new.

“How can he reject me? I didn’t think it was possible for wolves to resist their fated mates.”

Hester brushes my hair from my face, the gesture oddly maternal. “Oh, honey. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s not doing this to hurt you.”

She’s wrong. This feels exactly like he means to destroy me. My insides are in turmoil, my thoughts too. I want to let my wolf free and run, but even if I could do that, I can’t leave the sanctuary without risking my life. I’m not eager to die after fighting so hard to survive.

“Let’s get you off the floor,” Hester says, helping me up.

I sway on my feet as I stand up, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. I want to sleep for a week. I want to crawl under my covers and hide from the world even as I want to seek out Abel.

But I won’t beg.

As much as my wolf wants me to do that, I won’t. I am an alpha’s daughter and I don’t plead with anyone.

I lift my chin, trying to salvage the tattered remains of my dignity.

“What can I do around here to keep busy?”

Hester stares at me as if she’s waiting for me to break. If I were alone, I might, but her presence keeps me strong. I won’t show anyone that I’m dying inside.

“For now, let’s just get you settled in. We need to get you some clothes and supplies. Make a list of what you want.”

I frown at her. “I don’t have any money.”

I fled with nothing.

“You’re here under my care, Tessa. You’ll be looked after.”

I’m grateful for that, but I want to pull my own weight. I don’t want to be a burden. “Thank you. What do we do all day?”

“Train.”

Visions of cheesy ‘80s movies with fight scene montages drift through my thoughts.

“Train?”

“Your magic is like a muscle that needs to be exercised. The girls do different lessons every day to learn to control their gifts.”

I’m grateful training doesn’t involve doing a gazillion sit-ups.

“I can get better at vision walking?”

“You are only beginning to scratch the surface of what you can do. With practice, you could be able to see further into the future. You may even be able to interact with it, as I did in your vision.”

I had no idea my gifts could be enhanced, but knowing this, I’m eager to learn more. “When do we start?”

Hester smiles. “Let’s just take a breath. Today, we’re going to get you settled into your cabin and get you oriented. The sanctuary perimeter doesn’t span far and you need to be aware of where it ends.”

My eyes drift to the window that overlooks the back of the house and the cabins beyond, wondering how far it goes. Is the lake included in the perimeter? How about the trees surrounding the house?

I flinch as a wave of want washes over me. I can sense he’s out there, waiting. I can’t get a lock on his emotions, but I get a sense of anger through our weak mating bond, the one that was supposed to become stronger with time, but I don’t know what happens when it gets rejected. Will he fade from my awareness in time, or will he remain tucked away in a dark corner of my mind, urging me to submit to him even though he does not want that? My gut churns, bile climbing up my throat to pool in my mouth. I swallow it down, trying to ignore the empty pit in my stomach.

“Abel…” I say his name softly, unable to stop the word from spilling out.

“He lives on the compound,” Hester admits. “I’m sorry. I know that’s going to be hard for you, but I don’t want to lose either of you. I’ll give you the cabin farthest from his.”

Hard? Try impossible. My wolf is already pawing at the ground with him this far away from me. How will I be able to deal with him closer? I can still smell his lingering scent in the kitchen, and it’s making my pussy throb with need. I’m wet and I hate my body for responding to him like this. I’m trying to focus on something, anything, but him.

“I can’t stay in the house?”

Hester considers it for a moment. “The house is not a permanent stop. Everyone has a cabin,” she says finally. “You need your space.”

I can’t decide if she’s forcing me out there in the hope that Abel will change his mind, or if she genuinely wants the house empty.

“I need to stay away from Abel,” I say.

“I don’t think that’s going to be possible.”

It has to be, because being around him is going to tear me apart.

I clear my throat, trying to calm myself down. “Which cabin’s mine?”

“There is a stack of sliders in the cupboard by the front door. Find your size. Let me get dressed and I’ll show you where you’re staying.”

I go to the cupboard and pick out a pair, pulling the tags off before slipping my feet into them. When I return to the kitchen alone, I try not to breathe Abel’s scent in. Instead, I focus on the anger, on the dismay, and the pain.

By the time Hester returns to the kitchen wearing jeans and a hoodie, I’ve dug half-moon indentations into my palms from squeezing my hands tightly into fists. I force my fingers to unfurl and give her a smile that is definitely forced.

She directs me out the door that leads out to the back porch.

The fresh Montana air is warm, but there’s a slight bite to it that feels amazing. It cools my heated skin, making it a little easier to breathe.

Hester takes me past the first cabin. There’s a neat little garden in front of the steps and porch with colorful flowers in full bloom. It’s clear whoever lives here takes care of their place. The next cabin has fewer personal touches, but it’s still tidy, and the one opposite has a porch swing that looks ideal to sit on as the sun sets.

As we walk down the path that runs between the cabins, I can smell him getting closer, and my stomach tightens. How am I meant to be around him when everything feels this way?

“This is Apryle’s cabin,” Hester says, oblivious to my suffering. She points at the cabin with wind chimes and dream catchers hanging around the porch. There are a few pots filled with brightly colored flowers and a bench turned toward the lake.

“Morning!” a cheerful voice says from our right.

I turn my head, trying to focus on not passing out or throwing up.

The voice belongs to a woman maybe in her mid to late twenties with black hair streaked with white, just like me. We both look as if the moonlight touched us and I wonder if that is a tau thing. A tattoo on her neck and chest and another on her left arm peek out from under her tee. I can’t make out what they are from here, but they look detailed.

The woman watches me, a smile playing on her lips as she takes me in. Her cabin frontage is tidy, with a few plant pots on the deck, but there’s an easel too. The paint splatters on the surrounding wood tell me she uses it.

Hester stops and smiles at her with a fondness that makes me think of a mother and her child. Is that how she sees the tau wolves here?

And she is tau. Now that I know what that scent is, I’m able to recognize it in others. Her wolf half comes through stronger than her witch one, which surprises me. That is not the case with Hester, Apryle, or myself.

“Tessa, this is Roux. She’s been with us for about two years now. Roux, this is Tessa.”

I flicker my fingers in a wave.

“Welcome to the sanctuary,” she says, her words full of warmth. She holds her hand up, fingers steepled, and concentrates before a flower appears between them.

I blink, my brain refusing to believe what I’m seeing. Did she just conjure a flower out of thin air?

“Roux is a talented tau.” There’s no mistaking the pride in Hester’s voice. “She’ll help with your training.”

I stare at the flower in Roux’s hand, as if it might disappear at any moment. “How did you do that?”

“It’s easy when you know how,” Roux says.

“Show me.” I want to know everything about magic so I can protect myself.

In the woods, when I was running for my life, I had no protection. I was afraid, alone, and the odds of my survival were low. I never want to be in that position again.

Roux smiles. “I’ll teach you, I promise.”

“I’m putting Tessa in cabin nine,” Hester says.

“That’s a good spot, right in front of the lake. Prime real estate at the sanctuary,” Roux says.

I twist to glance at the cabins behind us. There is one standing away from the others, alone. Even if I couldn’t sense him in that direction, I would have guessed it belonged to Abel.

“He doesn’t like being around the others?” I ask, curious whether this behavior is arrogance or something else.

“Abel likes his space,” Hester says.

As if he can sense me, the door of the cabin opens, and Abel steps out onto his porch. His eyes lock to mine like metal to magnet.

For a moment, I can’t tear my gaze away, but then he turns and walks back inside as if I’m nothing to him, and that pain in my chest that was receding flares to life again.

Fuck . I didn’t expect that to hurt as much as his first rejection, but it feels even more agonizing.

Roux’s expression is curious when I turn back to her, no doubt able to sense the tension between us. It crackles like electricity through the air, surrounding everything.

“Let’s go to your cabin,” Hester says.

“It was good to meet you, Tessa.” Roux gives me a wave before I continue to walk closer to the lake. I choose to stand on the other side of Hester, farthest from Abel.

“It’ll get easier,” Hester says once we’re out of earshot of Roux.

“Will it?” I hate asking that question. It makes me feel weak, but I need to know if it’s true.

Hester gives me a wobbly smile. “Yes. Maybe. This is uncharted territory. Wolves rarely reject their mates.”

“Aren’t I lucky then,” I mutter.

Hester doesn’t offer any more thoughts and I don’t push her either. Instead, we lapse into silence as we continue along our path.

Eventually she stops at the last cabin. It overlooks the lake, the porch directly facing that way. I can hear the water lapping at the banks, soothing and calm. Like the other cabins, it has steps up to the porch and a window on either side of the door. There are no personal touches, so I’m surprised to see that the place is fully furnished when we step inside.

I let my gaze roam around the space, taking in as much as I can. There is a large living area with the kitchen to the left and another to the right. A couch is placed in front of a wall-mounted TV, and there’s a large coffee table in the middle of the room. To the side, there’s a log burner that is cold and empty, but I can imagine how cozy it will be on those colder winter nights.

Hester moves to open each of the three doors off the living area. Two lead to bedrooms, while the other is a good-sized bathroom with a walk-in shower.

I peer around the space, mentally decorating it and wondering how I can make it mine.

“It’s not much,” Hester says, “but it’s yours to do whatever you want with it.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll let you get settled, but we usually eat together at the main house around six.”

I want to ask if Abel will be there too, but I hold my tongue. I’m the intruder here, not him. This was his home first. If anyone should avoid dinner, it should be me.

“Don’t be late,” she says, as if she knows I’m thinking of ducking out.

“I don’t think I should go.”

“Six pm,” she repeats. “We take turns cooking.”

Hester leaves, and I close my eyes. Instinctively, I reach for my pack bond, needing to quell the loneliness inside me, but there’s nothing there. There is no comfort, no voices or emotions from my wolf family. There is just empty silence, and that hurts almost as much as being rejected.