Page 134 of Forgotten Comeback

“Look, you know I’m down for whatever you and Inferno decide,” I say, sipping my protein shake. “But after all these years of waiting and planning, it seems like we’re taking an L here.”

My eldest brother releases the longest sigh in history. “Inferno’s madder than hell, and I can’t be sure he isn’t plotting to kill me.”

I lift my hands. “Glad I’m not the mastermind of this family. If the war’s back on, you’re gonna have to wait until the championship’s over to get me involved. I’m locked in on my training and my girl, nothing else.”

John examines me. “You’re happy.”

A grin stretches across my face. “Yeah, I’m happy.”

“Good for fucking you,” he drawls.

Itsk. “That didn’t seem genuine.”

“Sorry.” He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. “I’m catching shit from all directions, and I’m in a mood.”

“You not getting the pipe laid anymore by Enzo? Or were you the one laying the pipe? Sorry, I’ve never been down with the bro on bro stuff; I don’t know how that works.”

“Gavin, shut the fuck up,” he snaps.

“Well, excuse the hell out of me,” I snap right back. “I didn’t even know you were into dudes.”

“I’m not into dudes,” he mutters. “Shit got complicated, alright?”

“Alright by me. But I can’t speak for Inferno,” I warn him, headed toward the door.

“Are you disappointed in me?” John asks quietly, and I pause.

“The real question is, are you disappointed in yourself?” I counter. “Only you can answer that one.”

“When did you become all philosophical?” He eyes me.

“My girl’s real smart,” I say with a shrug. “Picked it up osmosis style.”

“Figured it was more doggy style,” he jokes.

All the playfulness vanishes, my eyes going hard. “Do not fucking disrespect what I have with Taylor again.”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “My apologies.”

“You wanna know why I snapped and killed Gus and his crew all those years ago?” I say hotly, my temper balancing on a knife’s edge.

“I’ve always wondered, but figured you either didn’t want to tell or didn’t remember why.”

“Oh, I remember. Sometimes I wish I could forget,” I mutter. “Gus killed his wife in front of me, that much is true. But what I didn’t tell you is that his wife was fucking me at the time when her skull was blown off.”

“Jesus, Gavin,” John says softly.

“It started when I was thirteen.” A stack of files is on a cabinet, and in a rage, I swipe them with my arm, the papers flying. “Nobody wondered why I couldn’t hold down a steady girl?” I grab a lamp, flinging it against the wall, the pieces now in shards. “That’s what fucked me in the head the most; not killing those men, but being groomed by a grown ass adult who made me think it was love!”

John crosses the room, wrapping me in a bear hug. “I’m sorry,” he says, and only then do I realize I’m crying. “We were all trying to survive that shitty childhood, but that’s no excuse. I should’ve asked more questions. Gone with you to train. Been a better brother. You were always so damn tough, it never crossed my mind you’d need protecting. But you did, and I failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me,” I whisper, not trusting my voice to speak. “I’m alive because of you.”

“And I’ve kept us all alive, stuck in a hellish limbo,” he says bitterly. “And for fucking what?”

“That’s another question that only you can answer,” I tell him.

He playfully ruffles my hair, releasing me. “We good?”