Page 6 of Forged By Malice (Beasts of the Briar #3)

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Ezryn

O ne step.

The Spring Realm is one step away. That’s all I have to take in order to be back in the place of my birth.

My birthplace, but not my home , I think curiously. When did my mind shift so that the crumbling walls of Castletree and the dark, twisting vines of the Briar were more home than my own realm?

I stand in the entrance hall before the enchanted mirror, its surface glistening like nectar. All I need to do is step through it and think of Florendel, the capital of Spring, and there I shall arrive.

I’ve thought about going through this mirror every day since I arrived home from the Autumn Realm, thought about it every time no tidings came from Spring. But I told myself I was needed here. When the other princes took leave to visit their realms, I had offered to stay behind to watch over the castle. To watch over Rosalina. Spring has waited a long time for my return; a few weeks would be nothing in the span of my absence until now.

But I have been as poor a protector of Castletree as I have been a High Ruler.

Though Farron and Keldarion have been gone much of the six weeks—with Farron returning for short stints to visit Rosalina—Dayton has only been gone for the last two. Something has shifted in our dynamic, a sort of solidarity between Dayton and me. Though Keldarion may still remain cursed, at least he knows his path to freedom. But Dayton and I …

How does one hold on to hope when it has waned to but a sliver of moonlight?

I exhale roughly, the sound echoing in my ears. The stone beneath my feet should be worn into trenches by how long I’ve paced before this mirror. One step. Why can’t I take it?

Perhaps it’s for the same reason I couldn’t stay in Castletree with Rosalina when the other princes left. Castles and keeps cannot contain what I’ve become.

Rosalina deserves a man of honor.

Not the Black Beast of the Briar.

That’s what they scream, the goblins. The last name on their lips as my wolf’s jaws tear out their throats, as their skulls crush beneath my paws. I tell everyone I patrol the Briar for their safety. But that’s not the only reason.

The rage inside of me needs to come out. Better the goblins than someone I love.

I square my shoulders and face the mirror. One step. One step—

“Another silent getaway, I see.”

Her voice drifts into the entrance hall, and I turn, my armor clattering with the movement.

She’s leaning against a pillar, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised.

“Rosalina,” I breathe.

“Not running off to the Briar this time. Home to the Spring Realm, then?”

There’s a sharpness to her tone. She’s … angry with me.

In the heat of the moment in the library, it was easy to pretend everything was fine, that I hadn’t left her alone, or that I wasn’t leaving again. But with me on the edge of another realm, there’s no hiding from the truth.

“Yes. That’s the plan anyway,” I say lowly.

She raises her chin in the air, eyes averted. “Well, you’ve been staring at that mirror for half an hour. You’re usually so eager to leave.”

No wonder she’s Keldarion’s mate. In this moment, she could rival him in iciness. Who am I to blame her?

I owe her an apology for leaving her with Castletree in this state. For leaving her at all.

What do I say? That I never feel fear around the goblins or during the long, lonely nights, but she frightens me beyond measure? That each smile or touch she offers me is like a lightning strike, rending me to my core? And more than all of these things, I know it is only a matter of time before my determination breaks, and I will be hopelessly lost to her?

“Rosalina,” I manage, “I’m sorry.”

She sighs and walks over to me. Her every movement, from the sway of her hips to the exasperated pout, sends my heart pounding. “It’s okay. I know the goblins are wonderful company. Next time, I’m going to paint myself green and sharpen my teeth, so you’ll want to hang out with me.” She makes a ridiculous attempt at a scary face and holds her hands up like claws.

A low laugh escapes me and I reach forward, tucking a strand of hair behind her pointed ear. “They certainly don’t have your sense of humor.”

She sighs and rolls her eyes, pushing herself closer to me. “I just missed you.”

Despite my better judgment, I place my hands on either side of her face, lightly stroking her cheeks with my thumbs. “It’s easier this way.”

“Tell my heart that.”

The honesty of her words tears through me. What would she say if I offered every piece of myself to her? Would she have me? Would she break me?

One step to the Spring Realm. One question asked of Rosalina. I have the strength to do neither.

Bright pink floods Rosalina’s cheeks, and she gives an awkward laugh. “I shouldn’t keep you.”

Reluctantly, I drop my hands from her face and turn back to the mirror. “You’re not. I’m the one delaying. It seems I cannot get my feet to work.”

“You’re nervous?” she asks.

“Terrified,” I admit softly.

She reaches out and laces her fingers through mine. “Are you afraid to see your people?”

“No. I’m sure I will be welcomed warmly, despite my extended absence. There’s even a member of Keep Hammergarden’s staff I’m looking forward to reuniting with. It’s—”

“Your father.”

“How did you know?”

She blinks up at me. “You mentioned he was sick. It’s hard to see our loved ones like that.”

Especially when I know it was my actions that made him so. A numbness tingles through my chest as I fight away the memory. “My father, Thalionor, is serving as steward over Spring. I call him sick, but it’s not exactly that. Physically, he’s still sound. After my mother died, he fell into a daze. It was as if he was the same person on the outside, but on the inside, he was … empty.”

Rosalina squeezes my hand. “Your mother’s passing was hard on everyone in your family.”

A small crack emerges among the numbness in my chest, words trapped within waiting to get out. “My father, my brother Kairyn, and I… We were all so hard all the time. That’s the way it is in Spring, in the royal family. You must be the foundation for your people to grow upon. But our mother was this filament of softness that held us together. Like the moss that grows over the rock. She was beloved as a High Princess, the fated mate of my father. She taught me everything I know of honor, of duty to our realm. For Kairyn, she was the only person he ever truly felt at home with.”

“I’m so sorry, Ezryn,” Rosalina whispers, leaning her head against my shoulder.

The pearlescent colors of the mirror swim before my eyes. “My father was a brilliant man before her passing. Though my mother was High Princess, Father often went abroad, directly serving the villages away from our capital. The people adored him. Still do, despite his condition. He was a great warrior, valiant and bold. Honor to the realm is everything to him.”

“How was—is—he as a father?” Rosalina asks tentatively.

I sigh. “Strict. He demanded a lot of Kairyn and me. He wanted us to be great.” I shake my head. “It was easier for me to follow in his example. But Kairyn was never good at following instructions or trusting in the process of something. It created tension between him and Father.”

“Is that why you’re afraid to see your father?” she asks. “Because he was so stern?”

“No,” I say slowly. “I was never afraid of him.” My mind reels trying to find the truth, trying to put this pain into words. “When I visit my father now, I see everything I’m missing. Not only who he used to be. But he’s the last remaining tie to my mother. I wish more than anything I could be the ruler she was.” I close my eyes, voice hoarse. “My father was her mate. Watching who he was vanish before my eyes … It feels like watching her die all over again.”

Rosalina wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me so tightly, my armor jingles. “Tell me something about her,” she whispers.

I sigh and hold her tight. “She wore a starlight silver helm. I never saw her face, but in my mind, she was beautiful.”

“Of course she was,” Rose says. She blinks up at me. “And no matter what, she’s always with you, Ez. There’s a piece of her inside of you that will never leave.”

“I suppose that’s why I must go to Spring and make sure the realm she left me is in good order,” I say.

“Wait. Before you go—”

My heart lurches. Ask me to stay.

But instead, she scrunches up her face and says: “Anon caria mirel baelorin. Yavanthy caeotin. Darisfeli em onore. Ezryn.”

The words are choppy, labored. But I’d know them anywhere.

“That is a language of Spring,” I tell her.

She places her palm flat on my chest plate and stares at her spread fingers. “I know. You said that to me down in Cryptgarden.”

“You remembered?”

She reaches up to caress my helm. Her brown eyes shine as she holds my gaze. “The mountains told me your name. The forest sang your song. My heart has been searching for you since the first dawn.”

Of course, the first thing Rosalina would do upon hearing a new language is find a way to translate it. I can picture her in the library, poring over a dictionary. My chest tenses. Those were words I meant to keep secret …

“My heart searches for you, too, Ez,” she whispers. “Let me find you.”

As much as I wish I could sweep her into my arms and tell her again and again and again that I’m right here, the mirror beckons me forward. “I’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Rose says and lets me go. “I promise.”

With her promise giving me the strength I need, I take one step forward and enter Spring.