Page 34 of Forged By Malice (Beasts of the Briar #3)

33

Ezryn

T he shadow of the monastery stretches long before me. Rosalina gives a wave from atop her ibex, and Farron offers me a smile as he mounts his own.

“You’re not going down with them?” Kairyn stands beside me.

“No. I came up here to speak with you.”

Farron and I found Rosalina and Kairyn in the entrance hall after we were done inspecting the Spring steel. She explained she’d run into him while investigating some art, and he’d shown her a couple of the other relics in the monastery. I’d felt a twinge of unease seeing them together. My brother has never been what I would call a gracious host. Rosalina didn’t appear bothered by his presence. If anything, she seemed distracted, lost in her thoughts. Though that is not unlike her. Perhaps she’s someone who could find common ground with Kairyn—they’re both dreamers, in that sense.

Kairyn doesn’t turn to face me. “You have come to deliver my punishment.”

“It is my right. You deliberately disobeyed your banishment.” My words are steady, even if my mind reels. I need to make a decision.

Kairyn’s breathing quickens. “I did not disobey you out of arrogance or spite, I swear it, brother. Spring was in danger; someone needed to act. How long was I to wait? For Father to recover? For the Queen to return? For the High Prince to—” He cuts himself off before muttering, “I couldn’t stay up here, rotting away while I watched my people suffer.”

I pause before answering. Instead, I search his dark helm as if I could find answers there.

Arrogance and spite—that was exactly what I sensed when I saw him atop my throne. But maybe those were the easy things for me to see. A resentful boy disobeying his brother.

When I look at him now, I observe the tremble in his fingers, listen to the hitch in his breath.

He is frightened of me. Of the judgment I may pass.

The realization makes my chest tighten.

Farron told me I’d done right by my family. It isn’t true. If I had done right, I wouldn’t hear Kairyn’s voice as the narrator of my every painful thought.

In our youth, how many times had I been invited to councils while Kai was stuck waiting outside the door? How many times had I chosen to spend months in Winter or entertain Keldarion here, instead of paying attention to my own blood? Whenever my father needed a second in a tournament, he chose me. Whenever I needed one, I chose Kel.

I always had my reasons. Kairyn was too blunt for councils, too rash for tournaments. Despite being brothers, we never saw the world in the same light as Kel and I did.

Is it too late?

Wind rips at our capes, blowing them in near synchronicity. I square my shoulders to Kairyn. “Tell me the truth about the Spring steel.”

He speaks quickly. “Villages all across the Starweaver Mountains were falling to raids. Our people were dying. Our people. The acolytes must be able to defend themselves—”

“I’m not asking why you brought the steel here. I understand your reasoning, and I agree with it.”

Kairyn quirks his helm. “You … agree with me?”

“I need to know how the Below got their hands on it. Speak honestly. Did you lose one of your shipments?”

Kairyn pauses, the hesitancy itself a confirmation. The prideful boy won’t admit …

I stop myself. Not pride, but shame. Something we brothers of Spring know too much about.

That painful tightening in my chest triggers again, realizing how much of that shame I instilled in him. I took every opportunity I could to correct his errors. To prove to Mother and Father I was worthy of being the next High Ruler of Spring.

“I have made many mistakes,” Kairyn finally says, voice a low tremble. “But each one has been made in service of a greater vision. This, I swear.”

The sun has slowly shifted across the horizon, taking the monastery’s shadow with it. Kairyn’s own silhouette now stands apart.

“You’re not the only one who’s made mistakes, Kai,” I murmur. “If we’re to rectify them, then now, more than ever, we must trust each other.”

I stare down at his shadow, the void engulfing the grass. Would Spring have been better off if I had trusted Kairyn back when he first challenged me to the Rite? If I had let him take my rule?

He may be disobedient and arrogant. But he’s never caused the harm that I have.

“Trust each other?” Kairyn repeats. “You are asking for my trust?” There’s anger in his voice. Hatred.

All this time, I’ve thought he should be grateful when I chose to banish him to the monastery. I could have had him killed, or worse: unhelmed. But why would he be grateful? He saw the life vanish from our mother. Watched me leave Spring in the hands of our father, whose grief had claimed every piece of his spirit.

No wonder he hates me.

And it would be so easy to hate him. I close my eyes, and my thoughts drift down the mountain toward Rosalina. She offers her kindness for free and shows forgiveness to those many would deem unworthy. I’ve seen how her compassion has chased the darkness from my brothers—my other brothers, the ones who live at Castletree.

If I learn from her, then maybe I can chase away the darkness between Kairyn and me. We can find a new path forward.

“I do not want to be your enemy, Kai,” I say.

Kairyn paces toward the cliffside, then spins back to the monastery. Finally, he stops with a deep sigh. “I never wanted to be yours.”

This is my opportunity. I need to speak with Kairyn about the one thing we’ve never spoken about before. The reason he evoked the Rite against me. The reason I can’t stop his voice from repeating over and over in my head.

The reason I will always doubt if I made the right choice keeping the Blessing instead of passing it to him.

I part my lips to speak, but instead, the haunting echo of her scream reverberates in my mind. My blood rushes as it did the day the Blessing first passed through me. Kairyn remains as motionless as when he bore witness to my actions.

I can’t speak about it with him, not yet. So, I choose other words instead. “Come back to Florendel with me.”

He goes still. “What?”

“Due to your courageous actions in protecting the Starweaver Mountains, I hereby lift your banishment.”

“You’re not going to punish me?” he asks hesitantly.

I try something I’ve never done with Kai. Lightheartedness. “I could send you to the Anelkrol Badlands, but I have a feeling even that wouldn’t keep you from our people.”

His gaze drifts over the cliffside, toward Keep Hammergarden in the distance. “I don’t understand.”

“I want us to return home. Together.”

“I … am absolved.” A strange sound emits from under his mask. I think it may be a laugh. “And you accept me as your steward?”

That makes me pause. Of course, I cannot allow Kairyn to keep his own imposed stewardship. I told him as much in the throne room. You will never be my steward. “No. Father will maintain the title of steward, and I shall remain in Florendel to rule. It’s what I should have been doing all these years.” I place my hand on Kairyn’s shoulder. He looks down at it, and his body goes rigid. I realize this is the first time I’ve touched him since his banishment. “Kairyn, you have shown your loyalty to Spring. Now, you must show your loyalty to me.”