Page 87 of Forever Her Bachelor
Pippa had heard enough. He blamed himself, but it was never his pain to take. Placing her hand on his bearded cheek, she turned his face toward her. “What happened to your mother was a terrible violation, but you have no right to sit here as if you are the victim. That’s all you have done since the truth was discovered. Stop it. You are not the victim here.” She took a deep breath, knowing that she was telling him the hard truth. “Your mother is, and you dwelling on the past as if it is your pain does her a disservice.”
His eyes widened as if he had only realized how he had been behaving since Archer. “I’m just like him.”
The quiet words were an admission, like he believed them, and she couldn’t allow that to happen. “No, you’re not. I thought you were from the stories I heard throughout society about you over the years, but I was wrong.” She ran her fingers through the coarse hairs of his beard, loving the feel of them on her fingers. “You’re kind, attentive, and honorable. All the things your father never was. Don’t you dare say that you are anything like that man.”
Wiping the few duplicitous tears away, Pippa realized they had stopped moving and now sat in front the orphanage. Caesar, the imposing guard, stood outside, watching the carriage suspiciously.
The coachman knocked on the door, alerting them of their arrival. Pippa slowly placed her gloves on her hands before sheturned to face her infuriating husband. “You have a choice, Chauncey. You can choose to live in the past and blame yourself over and over for other people’s crimes. Or you can live in the present.” She tapped the glass, signaling that she was ready to exit. Pippa turned to face him, the cool air reinvigorating her senses. “With me.”
Chauncey watchedhis wife exit the carriage, her words permeating the air around him so palpably that he could scarcely breathe. She was correct in her assessment of his behavior. He had done nothing but acquire his mother’s pain as his own. It was not done to him; he would never know what it was like for his mother. All he could do now was focus on the present and honoring her memory.
He could not dwell on the past. He had to focus on his future with Pippa, who he prayed would forgive him. Sitting up, he righted his clothing and smoothed back his hair. Placing his hat on his head, he met the yellow-eyed glare of his nemesis. Newt stretched his furry body before leaping next to Chauncey and nudging him with his small head. His meow was a deep, encouraging sound that for some reason comforted him.
Stepping out of the carriage, he stared up at Ini’s Home for Children, taking in the clean building with happy children running in and out. Shifting his weight side to side, he felt as if would expel the small breakfast they had shared outside of London. Finally, he would come face to face with Maggie and the child after all these years of ignorance.
It was time for him to put the sins of his father behind him and take control of his life and his family. The truth of his father’s behavior with both his mother and Maggie was abominable. He would never be the man who sired him. It was a vow he planned to keep, starting now. He would love and honor his wife, vowing to never betray or doubt the love he had for her. He would live his life for himself and his family, not for his father. His memory of the man was a lie, a façade invented by an ignorant boy.
Searching for his wife, his eyes gravitated to her; she was his beacon in a storm. Pippa stood on the steps of the orphanage, speaking with a very large man of obvious African heritage.
“Are you ready?” she called out, a small, sad smile full of doubt and questions on her full lips.
He hated seeing that look upon her face. She should be happy like she had been since their wedding day. He vowed to spend eternity worshiping her, proving to Pippa how much he treasured her and always would. “Y-yes.” His voice shook, his body covered in sweat. Soon he would meet his brother or sister.
The large man opened the door, earning himself a kind look from Chauncey’s wife. “Thank you, Caesar. This is my husband, the Duke of St. Clara.” Pippa’s introduction filled Chauncey’s chest with pride.
Despite his size, the man had a friendly countenance, unlike Little Jim or Reaper who were of similar build. “I heard congratulations are in order. I’ve never met a duke before.”
Chauncey chuckled. “Don’t worry. Most dukes are old and unattractive.”
Caesar laughed, waving them in. Stepping forward, Chauncey bowed his head to the other man before removing his hat and walking over the threshold behind his wife.
The feel of the hat in his hands felt coarse as he nearly crushed it with the weight of his nerves. He followed Pippa asshe weaved through the busy orphanage, his eyes taking in the features of every boy and girl who passed him. One of them could be his brother or sister. None of the children, though, favored his father or Maggie.
“Pippa! You’re back!” Miss Lewis wrapped her arms around his wife. “I received both your letters. How was the wedding?” Her eyes shifted to Chauncey who stood behind his wife. “Hello, Your Grace.”
“Miss Lewis, pleasure to see you again.” He gave her a short nod before continuing. “My wife and I were wondering if we could have a word with Maggie Gallagher.”
“Maggie?” Miss Lewis asked, bewildered by the request. “I wasn’t aware you were acquainted.”
“Yes, she once worked for St. Clara’s family. I believe I saw her when I was last here,” Pippa explained further.
She was there, her and the child. For a moment, everything stopped, fear grasping him by the neck and cementing him in place.
Perspiration ran down his back through the heavy fabric of his clothes. His breath came out in loud pants as he scarcely heard what was being said around him.
“Of course. If you can wait in the office, I’ll return with Maggie. I believe she is in the kitchens.” Miss Lewis’s words sounded distant to him, but he understood every word. “If you will follow me.”
“Thank you, Beatrice. It means a great deal to us,” Pippa said before she turned to her husband, taking in his hand in hers.
Her strength poured into him, and suddenly he could breathe again, his body not paralyzed in place. Allowing his wife to lead him, he followed faithfully like Newt had done their entire journey.
Reaching the office, they entered after Miss Lewis. An attractive woman dressed in men’s clothing sat behind the small desk, pouring over some ledgers.
“Bea, I can’t get these damn numbers to match even with the blasted formula you made!” the woman shouted, not looking up at Chauncey and his wife.
“I’ll look at it shortly. Pippa is here with the duke; they would like to see Maggie.” Beatrice’s voice was friendly, but her sister stiffened.
Her green eyes latched onto Chauncey, narrowing. He tried to never fear a person, but it had been very difficult lately, first with Reaper and now with this strange woman.