Page 34 of Forever & Always You

My jaw slackens, taken aback by Zach’s cruel words. Now my blood really does burn. “That’s a horrible thing to say and you fucking know it.”

“He may be doing alright for himself now. May drive the nice car, may wear the suits, but you and him aren’t the same. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, but we were raised differently, and it’ll never work out with someone who doesn’t have the same morals.”

“And what morals do we have, exactly?” I spit, pushing myself up from the sand and towering over Zach in the lawn chair. “Because I was a raging bitch in high school, and you’re being a massive dick right now. So c’mon. What are these great morals of ours you speak of?”

“Jesus, Gabby. Calm down.”

But I can’t calm down, because I have never seen so much of my mother in Zach before. “Our biggest mistake was not learning from Dad,” I mutter through clenched teeth. “He was the only one who ever treated Austin with kindness.”

Zach gets up from the lawn chair, chest broad as he stands challengingly in front of me. “What does that mean?”

“Dad never judged him. He was nice to him. He wanted the best for him.” My eyes travel to Austin further down the beach, and I know I’m not to repeat the secret he shared with me, but I can’t sit on it by myself.

Maybe if Zach knew just how much Dad cared for Austin, he might cut him some slack.

“I’m going to tell you something, but I need you to promise me that you will not repeat this to Mom. ”

“Spit it out.”

“ Promise me ,” I demand, and Zach nods. “Okay. I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll say it quick: Dad left some money behind for Austin. It was in a secret trust in the will. Dad was a great judge of character, so shouldn’t you trust and value his opinion of Austin?”

Zach’s eyes bulge as his features twist with confusion, then bubbling rage. “What the fuck? You mean Dad was handing out charity favors? That money was ours, Gabby! How much?”

Panic sends my heart racing. This is why I shouldn’t make split-second decisions, because I think I may have just pulled the pin on a grenade, and oh, how I wish I could shove that information right back into my mouth.

“I don’t know,” I choke out as my vision blurs, the beach spinning around me.

Austin told me about that secret trust in confidence, and only when he felt he had no other choice.

I reach out and lock my hand around Zach’s arm.

“We are doing just fine. We don’t miss whatever amount that was, and it was Dad’s wish.

It’s what he wanted and we have to respect that, Zach. ”

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Austin approaching with concern and my chest squeezes so tight, it makes me feel faint.

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

Zach yanks his arm free of my death grip and turns to Austin. “How much was it then?”

“Huh?”

“How much of our father’s money did you manage to get your scruffy hands on?” There’s a storm raging in his eyes and he bites his lower lip so hard I’m amazed he doesn’t shed blood.

Austin glances at me, the betrayal clear as day in those ocean blue eyes. I squeeze mine shut, pressing my hands over my face as the regret twists its way around my chest, my stomach, my heart. I can’t bear this.

“Zach, listen. I didn’t ask for a handout,” Austin starts, his voice displaying only the slightest hint of a tremor that no one else but me would know him enough to even notice.

“Your dad was hugely influential to me. I really looked up to him growing up and I guess I must have left a lasting impression on him. If it means anything, that money was put to good use. I’d never waste it.

It was what he wanted, so if you’re going to be pissed at anyone, be pissed at him. ”

And that’s too much for Zach, because he swings a fist through the air and clocks Austin square in the jaw.

“Zach!” I scream, stunned.

Austin, who back in high school endured the football team taking shots at him every now and again without ever saying a word to defend himself, throws a punch straight back.

My mouth hangs open in disbelief and all hell breaks loose—Zach dives into Austin and the pair of them clatter to the ground, scrapping in the sand, fists flying.

“What’s going on?!” Claire screams in horror as she bounds over with Lily bundled protectively in her arms.

“Zach! Stop! Boys! ” I yell, but my pathetic mediation attempts are unsurprisingly futile. It seems I have no choice but to physically pull them apart, and it’s right about now that I regret giving up on the gym after that time I flew off the treadmill.

Sucking in a breath, I force myself in between the pair of them, locking my shoulders as I get rocked around in the fight.

I’m on the ground now with them, sand in my mouth as I try to grab hold of either of their arms, but I should have known better than to get involved in a fight between two grown men.

I’m no match for either of them, and I’m thrown to the side when Zach accidentally backhands me.

The squeak that leaves my mouth halts the fight right there and then.

“Fuck, Gabby,” Zach pants, suddenly on his knees by my side as I clutch my cheek in shock. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

“Let me see,” Austin says, breathless as he settles on my other side. He reaches for my hand and gently moves it aside to examine my cheek. It stings like hell. “You’re okay. Needs some ice.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” I snap at Zach, shoving him away from me as I unsteadily get to my feet. I brush off the sand from my body, though I feel my scalp itch and know it’s going to take one hell of a shower to wash it all from my hair. “Stupid, stupid idiot.”

“You hit her,” Austin growls, straightening up next to me and towering over Zach, gearing up for round two. I stretch a rigid arm out in front of his chest to hold him back.

“Leave it, Austin,” I warn. “Let’s just go.”

“It was clearly an accident,” Zach mutters, shaking his head furiously as Claire tugs on his shirt, pulling him away from us. As the distance increases, he yells over, “No wonder he forgives you, Gabs. Probably wants his hands on your trust fund now.”

Austin takes a sharp step forward, but I lock my hand around his bicep and haul him back with all of my might. “ Ignore him ,” I hiss.

In a rage-fueled daze, we gather our stuff and head back to the car before collapsing silently inside.

Austin’s shirt is torn open and there’s a small cut on the bridge of his nose.

He stares out over the parking lot, blinking slowly as though he’s processing the past five minutes. I sit there and watch him, waiting.

Finally, he looks at me and says, “ This is why that money was left in a secret trust.”

“I know,” I say, guiltily dipping my head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I just thought .?.?. Well, I thought maybe if Zach knew how much Dad respected you, he’d respect you a bit more, too.”

“I don’t need your brother to respect me, Gabby. What I do need”—he rubs his jaw, massaging away an ache, before the tone of his voice hardens—“is for you to stop breaking my trust over and over again. You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

The redirection of his anger at Zach toward me instead should absolutely be expected, yet my stomach still knots. “I’m sorry. I was trying to help, but—”

“But you screwed up. Again .”

“Austin,” I plead gently, reaching out to touch his arm, but he instantly flinches away from me and the violence of his rejection makes me feel a surge of panic. “Please. Please don’t let this ruin all the progress we’ve made so far.”

Austin braces himself hard against his car door, propping an elbow up against the window and resting his head in his hand as he sets his gaze on me.

It’s like he can’t get far enough away from me.

“And do you know how difficult it was for me to even let us make any progress in the first place? I gave you a chance when you didn’t deserve one, and already .

.?. Already you’ve fucked it up. I can’t just keep forgiving you.

Every. Single. Fucking. Time. I need to draw a line somewhere, and I think maybe that line is here. ”

“What?” I squeak.

Austin swallows hard before confessing, “I think you’re going to hurt me in the end, Gabby.”

And I burst into tears right there in front of him in this stupid car, because there is no possible way I have blown my one and only chance with Austin already when I was so adamant that I would never again do anything to betray him.

And the worst part is that I really, really, really didn’t mean to.

I feel like the biggest idiot in the whole entire world, and the positive momentum I’ve been building in my life feels like it’s been stopped in its tracks. Where do I even go from here?

“Do you want me to get out of the car?” I manage to splutter despite the panic flooding my nervous system. “Tell me what you want me to do, Austin.”

Austin is visibly uncomfortable, his expression distorted, like he’s fighting his natural urge to console me. I don’t expect him to wipe away my tears this time. “I’m not leaving you here with Zach. I’ll take you back to my place, and you can decide what to do from there. Is that okay?”

I nod even though nothing feels okay. I don’t want to decide what to do or where to go next.

I want to rewind the past fifteen minutes, to the moment Austin kissed the tip of my nose and promised me he wouldn’t let me burn in the sun, and when Zach approaches, I’ll keep my mouth shut this time around.

Oh, Gabby, why couldn’t you have just kept your mouth shut?

As Austin drives, I bury my head in my hands and smother my sobs, praying with every fiber of my being that there is some way out of the mess I’ve made.