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Flames licked at my skin, and the dead eyes of my family stared at me. Darcie was being dragged away by a figure that was all too familiar. She screamed as she reached for me. The vampire king laughed as he threw her to the ground and drew a knife. He lifted it above his head and brought it down—

I woke up screaming.

“Elara?” Luken had to hold me still as I thrashed. “It’s just a nightmare. It’s just a nightmare. You’re safe. It’s okay.”

Sweat clung to my clothes, soaking me through. Its chill made me shudder as I pressed my face into Luken’s shoulder. I didn’t want to look at him, not when the revulsion that rippled through me would be plainly visible. It wasn’t real. None of it. I didn’t see my family dead. Darcie was safe in the forest; the mercenaries never touched her.

And Luken hadn’t been there.

“It’s okay,” Luken murmured again. “It was just a nightmare.”

Not just a nightmare. It was the nightmare. The one that I’d had nearly every night while in the nunnery. The one that kept creeping back to me at the most random times. I thought with the events of the past few months, it would be replaced by another nightmare. I hadn’t had it in over a year. But it was back. Why now? Why, when I had no choice but to trust Luken, did I have to have the nightmare that left me not knowing if I could even trust myself?

“I need air,” I choked and army-crawled my way from the brambles. My stomach rolled and for a moment, I was certain I was going to hurl.

Luken followed me out. He brought the bag of food I’d collected with him and divvied up enough rations for both of us. I chewed the jerky without looking at him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No.”

Luken took his sword and started to step through the ferns, but paused and looked back. “I’m going to find a sapling that I can carve protective talismans on. I’ll be back shortly.”

I opened my mouth, then clicked my teeth shut and nodded. At least he was telling me.

Once he was gone, I pressed the heels of my palms to my eyes. I didn’t cry. I didn’t let myself. Instead, I breathed, emptied my mind, and focused on the here and now. My stomach settled. The clear, fresh air of the Silver Forest relaxed my tight muscles. It wasn’t real. Luken wasn’t the enemy who had murdered my family.

I didn’t have to fear him anymore.

By the time Luken returned, I’d gotten myself regulated again and helped prepare the sapling. Luken carved two flat disks out of it, etching them with protective runes. There was a troubled furrow to his brow as he worked. Twice, I opened my mouth to ask what it was, only to close it again. I didn’t know how he’d react; I was still too fragile to turn this into another fight.

When the talismans were done, he strung them with a little bit of vine he’d found and handed one to me. I slipped it over my neck. “So what will these protect us from?”

“Everything, hopefully,” Luken answered dryly.

“And here I thought you were the most powerful man on the planet,” I replied just as dry.

Luken smirked at me. “I am. But even a lion can be taken down by meerkats if they have enough numbers.”

I gasped in mock horror. “We’re going to have to fight meerkats? But they’re so cute!”

Luken laughed as he helped me to my feet. He kept his hand in mine as we returned to the cave. And I let him. If we were going to get through this, we’d have to stick together. The nightmare still crawled under my skin, but that’s all it was. A nightmare. He’d braided his hair sometime while I slept, and—I touched my head—apparently, he’d braided mine, too. He must have been very gentle to do that without waking me up.

“Ready?” Luken asked me as we came back to the dark slash.

“Ready.”

Luken eased into the cave first, and I followed cautiously afterward. Inside was dim and damp. The sound of water dripped from somewhere in the depths of the cave. Luken pulled a flashlight from his pocket and switched it on. The beam of light seemed thin in the deep, dark of the cave. It lit on smooth walls and what appeared to be a furry floor.

“I don’t like this place,” I murmured, my voice echoing off the walls.

Luken tugged me a little closer and released my hand. “Swords out, I think.”

I drew my sword and held it loosely in my hand. My grip was firm enough to keep hold of the blade if we were suddenly attacked, but not tight enough to cramp up my hand. I stuck close to Luken as we moved cautiously forward. A minute turned to half an hour, and my nerves started to jangle like a badly-tuned guitar.

“Where are the challenges Donelle mentioned?” I hissed under my breath.

The words had barely passed my lips when a shrill noise filled the cave. I gasped, reaching to cover my ears. Movement caught my eye, and I whirled, raising my sword. Something flung itself at me, and I swiped at it. The blade bit into something solid and wet that slumped backward with another shrill cry. I felt something wrap around my ankle and I jumped back, stabbing downward. I cut through a thick vine that quickly retreated.

Dozens of creatures came at us from all angles. Bolts of light shot at us, only to be turned aside by glittering shields that appeared from the talismans. The physical attacks weren’t so easily dissuaded. There were so many of them, and they moved so quickly that I couldn’t see any of them clearly in the dark. I spun, stabbed, and sliced. Vines kept creeping up through invisible cracks on the floor to grab at my feet.

Luken let out a strangled shout. I cut off the grotesque head of one of the creatures and turned just enough to see. The creature on his back was mottled grey, illuminated by the flashlight on the cave floor. Bony arms wrapped around Luken’s neck. He yanked at the thing, but it held him too tightly. I spun closer and stabbed through it, careful not to hit Luken. It let out another of those shrill cries and fell away.

“Enough!” Luken roared. He grabbed me around the waist, pulling me tight against him, and then spun us both, one of his hands outstretched. A burst of flames arched from his palm, illuminating the cave. The heat made sweat break out over my skin, and I gasped. The creatures screamed and fled. The vines crumpled to ash.

When Luken pulled back the flames, silence echoed around us. I panted, clinging to him as I trembled. My scars burned, and my lungs ached, feeling as though I’d been in the flames themselves.

“Are you okay?” Luken asked, his arm still tight around me.

I pulled away, taking a few deep breaths to steady myself. “I’m fine.”

Luken nodded. He took a step, and his leg shook. I quickly grabbed his arm. He must have seen the worry on my face because he gave me a pained smile.

“That spell is a little difficult,” he muttered.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?”

Luken glanced away. My fingers tightened on his arm, and I repressed the urge to tell him we couldn’t have him running around fighting whatever those were and blasting out magic while he was running on no sleep. He was strong. And we didn’t have much time. It didn’t stop my stomach from twisting as we continued. A few times, I heard a strange skittering noise but all Luken had to do was snap his fingers, bringing a single flame to his palm, for the noises to stop.

“What are those things that attacked us?” I asked when the silence became too much.

“I… don’t know,” Luken admitted, sounding frustrated. “They feel magical. I guess that Draven created a hybrid beast that attacks anyone that’s not with him.”

We passed by an empty suit of armor laying on the floor, next to a pile of scattered bones. Gnaw marks were visible on both.

A short time later, we came to a room. It was large, lit with a bright golden light that emitted from the ceiling. The light formed a perfect circle in the center of the room, over a slightly raised dais. The walls of the room were smooth, no sign of a door anywhere. Luken circled the light, squinting at it. I followed close after, keeping an eye out for more traps while he studied the contraption.

“It’s a revelation spell,” Luken finally said, stopping. He reached back to twist his braid up into a bun at the back of his head. “Basically, a truth spell. You step in, and it goes through a series of levels, forcing you to reveal your truths or be riddled with pain. The memories associated with your answers will be shown in the light.”

“What sort of truths?” I asked warily.

“Impossible to know until we’ve activated it.”

I nodded once, bracing myself. Luken was already in a weakened state. And if this thing was magic, we needed a magic user to have a clear head. As much as the idea of having my truths revealed made me flinch back, there was only one option here. I sheathed my sword and stepped into the light.

“Elara,” Luken snarled, reaching for me. A spark emitted from the light and snapped to his hand. He drew back, hissing.

“Subject: Elara Tideborne,” a cool, mechanical voice said. “Truth: Luken Holakas.”

Oh, no. My heart sank as I looked at Luken. His expression went blank. What was this thing going to make me reveal? For all the times I thought we needed to be just honest with each other, I wasn’t ready for that! We needed to save Darcie first, so this threat and heartache wasn't lingering over our heads like a guillotine!

“Speak your truth,” the voice ordered.

Maybe there was a workaround? “Luken Holokas is the vampire king. And my husband,” I said nervously.

A shock went through me, making me yelp.

“Speak your truth,” the voice ordered again.

I clenched my hands. “That is the truth. He’s my husband and the vampire king.”

The shock came again, stronger this time. I flinched and resisted the urge to step out of the light. “Fine! Fine, he’s… the moment I first met him, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. I wanted to be with him, and when he asked me to go with him, I only said no because I thought my family needed me. But I regretted it.”

Luken’s expression was still blank, emotionless. What was he thinking? I wished I could ask him.

“Speak your truth.”

“I am!” I protested. Another shock, this one even stronger. It was enough to drive the air from my lungs. I fell to one knee, grunting. “I… I thought he killed my family. I hated him for it, but I wanted him even when hating him. It felt like a betrayal. Not only was I betraying my family, but my body was betraying me. It was humiliating how much I wanted him.

“But even now, when I know that he’s not the one responsible, I don’t know how to heal. I want him with every breath, and it still feels like a betrayal to give in to my desires when my sister is still in danger. And worse is knowing that even if he locked me in the palace and killed her himself, I’d still want him.”

The emotionless expression melted away, replaced by… shame. Luken turned his head quickly so I wouldn’t see, but it was too late.

Truth, the voice said. This was only part of the truth. “I don’t regret the times we’ve been together. Every memory of us being together, every time he’s touched me, I cling to it. I might be broken, but at least sex brings us together. If I can’t trust myself with him, at least I can trust him with my body. If I’m incapable of love, at least I’m capable of pleasure—getting as well as giving. It’s the only thing that hasn’t been taken from me.”

Another shock made me whimper. Gods! How much more did it need? But even as I bent my head, panting against the pain, I knew exactly what it wanted. Incapable of love. That’s where the lie was. I’d been lying to myself. The truth felt too much like a weakness. I groaned as I struggled against the need to say it out loud.

“I don’t,” I choked, then stopped. “I want—I need—I—”

The words were there, ready to burst out.

Luken grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the light. I yelped, startled by the sudden movement. He released me quickly. His expression was a mask again, harder than I’d seen it before. It was only then that I remembered that the light was supposed to show memories attached to the words. What had he seen? I hadn’t seen anything in the light. What did it show him?

“You’re taking too long,” he grunted before I could ask.

“Wait,” I gasped, but he ignored me, stepping into the light.

I whipped around. The movement made me so dizzy I could only slump to the ground further. The coolness of the stone felt pleasant against my cheek. I gazed at the light, waiting for the voice to speak. Luken lifted his face upward and closed his eyes. His lips moved, but I heard nothing. An image started to shimmer above him in the light, and I braced myself.

What truth would he be forced to reveal? No doubt it was related to his plan to defeat the gods. If there was anything he needed to keep secret, it was that. Did the light have the power to project our truths to anyone else? Would the Gods see his plans to—

But it wasn’t any sort of plan or scheme that appeared in the light. Instead, it was… me . A series of images appeared in rapid succession. Me smiling. Me laughing. Scowling, rolling my eyes, trying not to smile, glaring. Me naked at the hot springs, fighting. His hands caressing my cheeks as he lay over me. Me sleeping in the bed next to him at that sketchy motel. His fingers tracing my tattoos and my hands on his chest. Everything was me .

Then came our wedding night. The way we’d spun in each other’s arms. And later, he knocked on the door to my room. I heard the whisper of words emitting from the light.

“Elara?” he said. “Elara, please come talk to me.”

He waited and knocked again.

“At least answer me. I need to know you’re alright.”

My heart hammered.

“I’m not here to fuck. I’m here to talk. Elara, please. I know you’re angry with me, and you’ve got every right to be. But if you’ll just let me explain…” he waited, then opened the door. “Elara—”

He stepped into the empty room and stopped. It was instantly clear I wasn’t there. He reached out, gripping the doorframe. And even though I couldn’t see his face, couldn’t hear his thoughts, I knew exactly how betrayed he felt. I was running away from him. All his worst fears were realized; I thought he was a monster and wanted nothing to do with him.

The light died. Luken groaned as he slumped to his hands and knees. He rested his forehead on the ground and panted lightly. I remained where I was, frozen.

He thought I saw him as a monster.

He loved me. I was his world, and he thought I was repulsed by him.

“Luken,” I breathed, crawling forward.

“I’m fine,” he grunted, still in his prone state. “Just… tired.”

“What happens now? I don’t see any doors or portals,” I said, reaching out.

I put my hand on his arm, and he flinched back from me. He cleared his throat. “The revelation spell will have changed. The portal will appear here, I’m sure, once it draws enough energy from the cave. There will be a safe place nearby to wait it out, where Draven would have protected himself and his men from being sucked dry of their magic.”

“Okay.” I scrambled to my feet and searched the area. Finally, I found a small depression on the far side of the room. A button gave way beneath my thumb when I pressed it, and a door popped open.

Luken was still weak, so I looped his arm around my shoulders and helped him to stand. He leaned on me heavily as we made our way into the second room. I closed the door after us. There was a light switch, which I happily turned on.

The room was large enough to hold a dozen people, with chairs that lined the walls. A cupboard stood next to the door with several bottles of water stacked in it. I pulled out the food I’d brought from Donelle’s palace and offered some to Luken. He chewed a piece of fruit, but I knew it wasn’t going to be enough.

“You should drink my blood,” I told him as I helped him to one of the chairs.

He shook his head.

I winced. “You need to be stronger.”

“No.” His voice was flat, hard.

I leaned back on my heels. He wasn’t going to drink from me. Even if he needed my blood, he wasn’t going to do it. “What did you see when I was in the light?”

“Enough.”

“What did you see?” I repeated, grabbing his arm.

His amber eyes flicked up to my face. His expression was so closed off that it took my breath away. Whatever he’d seen, he wasn’t about to share. He’d been reaching out to me again and again, and I was too stubborn to answer him. I’d hurt him more than I realized.

“Luken, that light… it wasn’t the full truth,” I said, gripping his arm tightly.

He laughed. “Really? You’re the one with the knowledge of magic now? I guess my training is nothing, since you know so much better.”

I flinched at his mocking tone, but my anger flared up quickly afterward. “It wasn’t the full truth because I wasn’t telling the full truth. Why else do you think it kept hurting me?”

Luken frowned and didn’t answer.

I reached to cup his face with my hands, and he jerked away. “Don’t touch me, Elara.”

“You need to drink,” I mumbled, unsettled with this change.

“Not from you.”

“Why not?” I exploded. “You need blood, and we both know that drinking from me makes you stronger. So why not take it?”

Luken grasped my shoulders and pushed me back, creating more distance between us. “There’s a reason I told you I wasn’t going to take anything more from you until you begged. I already broke that vow once. I won’t do it again.”

Vow?

It wasn’t a vow, was it? Understanding flooded me. I’d thought he was just cocky. But now, as I stared into his eyes, I understood why he had said it. Why did he ask if I regretted our times together.

“You want to make sure I want it,” I whispered.

“And I know you don’t,” Luken growled, looking away again. “So I won’t drink from you. I won’t put you through that, Elara. I will never touch you again.”