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INTERLUDE

WHAT'S UP MY LOYAL LITTLE PUCK BUNNIES?

It's your girl, HockeyHomeGurlHattie, back on this platform because—shocker—I got temporarily suspended from TikTok for ‘community guideline violations’. Whatever. Their loss is YouTube's gain.

#CantCancelMe #RiseLikeAPhoenix #ThirdPlatformThisYear

So, it's been exactly THREE WEEKS since my last update on the Derrick Shaw mystery and the plot has officially THICKENED, y'all.

For those living under a hockey puck, our precious rookie goalie sensation disappeared after that devastating injury in the Stanley Cup finals. The official line was ‘resting and recovering’ but my sources have been WORKING, honey.

And when I say sources, I mean my cousin's roommate's sister who works at that fancy Seattle hotel where visiting teams stay.

#InvestigativeJournalism #Connections #NotStalking

THE LATEST DEVELOPMENT

Baby Shaw is STILL in Seattle. THREE WEEKS LATER! And get this, according to my hotel insider, he hasn't been staying at the hotel the team stayed at the night of the final. Okay, so, he was in the hospital. Sigh.

So, where the hell is he? Toronto management is sweating bullets, fantasy hockey bros are in shambles, and my DMs are FLOODED with theories.

Theory #1, he's secretly in some experimental medical treatment program. Plausible, but boring.

Theory #2, he's hiding from the media because his beautiful face got messed up. Girl, I hope not. That face is insured for millions, I just know it.

Theory #3—and this is where it gets JUICY—he's shacking up with someone in Seattle!

#PlayerMovements #ButNotOnIce #IfYouKnowWhatIMean

Now, I don't name-drop without receipts, but let's just say multiple people spotted our Baby Goalie entering a certain WATERFRONT PROPERTY owned by none other than a CERTAIN SEATTLE VIPERS PLAYER.

Yes, that's right. I'm connecting dots that the mainstream media is too chicken to connect.

Are we witnessing the most unexpected hockey bromance of the decade? A rivals-to-roommates situation? Or is there more?

I mean, what really happened between our Bast Man and his old teammate in Winnipeg? It was hush-hush and swept under the rug.

#RaisesABrow #AManOfManySecrets

My DMs suggest that these two have history that predates the Cup finals. Like, Shaw-had-his-poster-on-his-wall kind of history.

#Obsessed #MeetYourHeroes #ThenLiveWithThem

And the REAL tea? Toronto management is FREAKING OUT.

Listen, I'm just saying. . .when a rookie who's supposed to be the future of your franchise gets a devastating injury, without really knowing what's going to happen, this close to training camp. . .because we don't have that long left folks. Something is UP.

Toronto insiders are whispering about potential TRADES or they may #GASP let him go. I mean, if he's no use to them, what's a franchise to do?

Well, I certainly hope that the speculations aren't true and our little goalie god returns to the crease honey.

Can you IMAGINE the drama if Baby Shaw gets traded before he even starts his sophomore season?

#TradeRumors #HockeyDrama #FrontOfficeNightmares

That's all for today's update, my little gossip goblins! Keep those DMs coming with any Seattle sightings of our missing goalie prince!

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell because you KNOW I'll break the news the second anything happens.

This has been HockeyHomeGurlHattie—where the ice is cold but the tea is SCALDING!

#WhereIsDerrick #GoalieMIA #SeattleSecrets #TradeWatch #StanleyCupHangover