Page 67 of For Cowgirls and Kings (The Trauma Bonded #2)

FIFTY-ONE

ADALENE

STETSON: Have you talked to Mateo recently?

ME: I mean, I called him a week ago, but I told you that.

Three dots dance across the screen, and I pull my knees to my chest, Tut’s paw presses into my thigh as he stretches out over the velvety couch.

I know he misses the luxury of a million sunny windows and down blankets on every surface from Mateo’s house, but he’s been extra clingy since returning, and I think he can sense I’m getting better—happier.

Finally the dots disappear completely, and I pull up Stetson’s contact to call her. Before I get a chance, the message finally comes through.

STETSON: Nothing since?

STETSON: He hasn’t called you and you ignore him or anything?

I roll my eyes. Of course she’d know that. Mateo’s a fucking tattle-tale .

ME: No mom. I haven’t heard from him. Why?

STETSON: Why are men such pussy’s?

ME: Why Stet?

STETSON: Talk soon. Love you.

I stare at the cryptic messages, the want to call Mateo nearly overwhelming. I want to hear how he’s doing, how the casino is, how the horses are. I want to hear him say he misses me again.

“Well, Tut, what should we do today?” I run a hand through his orange hair, his rumbling chest calming my achy heart the way it always does.

He tips his chin back, his eyes finding mine even upside down, and he yawns, his tongue curling.

It’s so cute I want to smoosh him. “Nap huh? I might go for a run, and then join you afterward.”

As if accepting this, Queen Tut rolls into himself, his arm slinging over his face.

I don’t get as far as the front door before my phone rings.

“Heyyy, Dale.” Stetson’s voice fills the line and I can’t help but snort.

“Didn’t we just talk?” I tease.

“I told you we’d talk again soon. It’s soon.”

I smile, the early morning light streaming through the front window warming my skin. “What’s up?”

“I need a favor. Gus is busy today, and I can’t do anything on my own until this peanut pops out at this point.

” She’s due any day, and Gus has been running himself ragged, trying to prep the horse rescue for a short break.

They’ll still get fed, of course, but no one will be riding for a week or so, and I know they’re both worried about it.

“Gus, bless his neurotic soul, is freaking out, packing every baby item we own like we’re moving into the hospital, in preparation for the baby to come. ”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Fuck!” she hisses. “He just came down the stairs, carrying two separate car seats. I thought we returned one of those!” she shouts, not for me, I realize. I remain half frozen in the entry.

“Stet? How can I help?”

I hear her smirk through the line before I have a second to reconsider my offer. “Great. Well, Mateo’s out on his property, doing god knows what today. I need you to run out there and make sure he doesn’t need help.”

“Uh—” My mouth hangs open, words evading me. Quick, think of an excuse.

“Gus is worried about him.” I instantly snap my jaw closed with a clank, shooting her a death glare through space. Gus doesn’t worry about anything.

“I—”

“Sooner the better. He hasn’t come back through here since yesterday morning.”

Her words tumble around my brain, nothing making any total sense. He’s been out in the pasture, doing what, since yesterday morning? Is he okay? Why hasn’t he called anyone if he isn’t okay?

My heart instantly begins to race, the idea of him being hurt almost too much to bear. Every other rational thought flees my mind, and I’m already grabbing my keys before I have a chance to think through it more clearly.

“Great! Call if you need anything,” Stetson says cheerfully, but it barely registers.

My car jostles over a path that seems far more well worn than I expected it to be. Almost like a road— how often does Mateo come out here?

I tried calling him, only for it to go straight to voicemail, twice, so I didn’t bother stopping as I raced past Stetson sitting on the porch, leaving her in a cloud of dust. I can’t think about anything beyond the concern that Mateo might be hurt.

If he is, I’ll never forgive myself. Not for the way I left things on the phone the other night.

He deserves so much better. The truth is, when I heard his voice I wanted nothing more than to crawl through the line and demand he take me back.

I’d be with him, anywhere, any way, if only he would love me again.

These last couple months have shown me how happy I can feel, and how unhappy I am when I’m not with him. I’m healthy, stronger, and braver than I’ve ever been, but it feels pointless when I can’t share it with Mateo. My best friend, and the man I’ve loved for far longer than I want to admit.

Has it always been him?

His fence line quickly comes into view, the Texas sky a hazy blue backdrop to the green plains.

And the house that sits there, surrounded by a fenced in yard, and a covered outdoor arena to the side with someone riding in it. The car slows beneath me, breathing completely forgotten as I take in the unfolding scene.

My hand trembles as I bring it to my mouth, the roar of my heart filling my ears. And just as the car comes to an almost stop, I ram my foot on the gas, racing the rest of the way. This can’t be happening.

I slam my foot on the brake, turning the ignition off a second before I’m out and stomping toward the indoor arena, and the man lopping circles within.

He’s in jeans, dirt clinging to the sides and tops in patches that indicate he may have been doing something on the ground—they mold to his thighs and stretch over the round curve of his ass so sinfully I have to force myself to swallow the dryness coating my mouth.

To make matters worse, he’s shirtless, his skin covered in a pornographic sheen of sweat, the muscles rippling with each practiced movement of the horse beneath him.

His normally perfect hair flops around his face, and instead of having his normal trimmed facial shadow, there's a thick beard that covers his cheeks and chin.

I all but fucking melt at the sight of him.

It’s not that he’s as hot as fucking god like this, although that certainly doesn’t help, but it’s the sight of him at all, when all I’ve done for the last three months is dream of him.

In his normal perfect gentleman attire, or in a T-shirt and gym shorts on the couch, or naked and sleeping in the bed next to me.

But the sight of him like this—dirty and raw—completely oblivious to my ogling, is better than anything I could have imagined.

And it’s enough to shatter my resolve completely.

“Mateo!” I bark, and he instantly pulls up on the reins, the horse bouncing beneath him before he stops. Slowly, as if he’s afraid of what he’ll find, Mateo turns in the saddle, his face tight. Crossing my arms, more to keep my pounding heart contained in my chest, I stare at him.

We stay locked in a silent battle of wills for several excruciatingly hot moments, before Mateo pats the horses neck, and jumps off the saddle.

He strides toward me, his head held high and confident.

But his eyes tell a different story—they’re full of a wildness that matches the turmoil racing through my own veins, and it calls to me.

“Dale?” His voice cracks as he says my name.

“What, the fuck, is this Mateo?” My voice trembles, and I don’t bother denying it.

Mateo drops the reins of the horse, jumping over the fence in one fluid motion.

He doesn’t reach out to touch me, but we’re close enough our body heat mixes in the space between us.

He looks over my shoulder, and as if pulled by an invisible string, I turn, following his gaze to the house there.

“A big adobe thing,” he starts, his voice taking on a rather far off tone, like he’s practiced the words a million times.

On instinct, I reach out, gripping his hand in mine.

I feel like I might fall off the face of the earth if I don’t hold onto Mateo— the one thing that seems to be tethering me to this existence anyways.

His hand squeezes around mine in return, but his eyes don’t look away from the house.

“With a fenced courtyard in the front. The pool’s empty still, but it’s in the back of the house, and I have a few cactus planted, but you never specified what kind and how many, so I left most of the space for you to design. ”

My heart gallops frantically at his words, my vision blurring as I fight to keep my composure.

“I know green and purple are your favorite colors, so I did the doors in a cactus-y color green, and the pool tiles in the back are purple—Stetson picked them out so if you hate them, blame her. There’s planter boxes under all the windows that we can still paint, to add more color, and the inside is all pretty simple still because I wanted your creativity to help design it.

” He pauses, as if he’s afraid he’s rambling.

And then he sighs. “I don’t have longhorns yet, but I did bring a few horses with me from my old ranch—Sven, and Childers, the one I know you like.

You’re welcome to bring Chuck here too, anytime, and?— ”

“Mateo,” I sob, his words too much. Everything seems like a fairytale once more, and even though I desperately want him, I can’t wake up tomorrow, only to realize this isn’t real. I’ll never survive it.

He stiffens slightly, and I can feel his pulse quicken beneath my hand. He’s as nervous as I am, and it’s enough to give me the confidence I need.

He turns to face me, his eyes rounded and glistening, and I want to bite my own tongue off for ever hurting him. I’ve never known such free, uninhibited emotion—like he feels so much for me, he couldn’t contain it if he wanted to.

My knees tremble.

“Mateo, what is this?” I whisper, my eyes threatening to overflow.

“A house,” he mumbles.

“I see that.” I sniffle. “But why? What does it mean?”

He sucks in a ragged breath, and then faces me completely. His free hand raises, his knuckles running over my chin and cheek.

“It’s our home, Dale. If you want it. Fuck, I want you to want it.

I’ve never really allowed myself to want anything—I always felt like I had too much already, that I was too blessed to be the kind of person who wants things, prays for things.

But Dale, baby, I want you. I pray for you, for this, for us—” I sob, the sound ripping from my chest, taking all of the pain and fear with it.

His hand grips my chin, tipping my now tear streaked face to his.

“I realize now that what I had wasn’t who I am.

And so I sold it, everything. And I bought this place, and built this house, and purchased the sale barn, and I want to build a life here.

I want to build a life with you. It’s the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted. ”

I feel like I’m slipping, free-falling into the unknown. And for the first time in my life, someone offers to catch me.

“Dale, I’ve got you. I promise this is all I’ve ever wanted and I’ll do whatever I have to, to have this dream with you.

I’ll wait forever, if that’s how long it takes.

But there’s no dream without you in it, and with everything we’ve been through, I think we both deserve to start living our dreams.”

I shake my head, still in disbelief, even as my heart wants nothing more than to fall into him. It still seems too good to be true. “What about your family's business, the ranch, the casino? What about your family?”

His hand quivers in mine, like he’s keeping himself from pulling me closer.

“I sold everything Dale. I don’t have a family, if you’re not the center of it.

I found a workaround, where if I sold everything, and reinvested it, then the family itself wouldn’t lose anything.

So like I said, I bought this place, and a few other properties in Moztecha, including the sale barn?—”

“Why the sale barn?” I whisper, my romantic heart getting ahead of my logical brain. Which has never once served me for good.

He barks a laugh, the sound catching me off guard, and then his eyes soften further. “There was no other building in town that was truly important to me.”

“Why Mateo?”

“Because it’s where we first kissed. And where I fell in love with you, all those years ago.”

His words are the last remaining blow to my denial, and I crush my arms around his waist, my face pressed into his chest. His heart thunders beneath my ear, but I can barely hear it above my own as tears burn down my face. “How can you remember that? How can this be happening?”

His arms engulf me, the smell of horse and sweat grounding me, while my mind races. “The truth is, I don’t know how to answer that question. I have no idea how or why we ended up here, but I’ll never question it, never put it in jeopardy again. This is everything. Dale, you are everything.”

“Mateo, you are my everything.” I squeeze him tighter, afraid to ruin the moment, but afraid to move forward without at least a little more reality. “But what about Valentina?”

He sighs, and I can hear the pain in his voice as he says, “I bought a place on the outskirts of Moztecha, about thirty minutes from here, and gave it to her. It’s a grandiose place—honestly way over the top, but I know that’s the life she’s been accustomed to and I don’t hold that against her—and she has to live and learn to run the ranch for the next three years or she loses everything.

My mom, bless her wandering heart, didn’t want anything beside an old baby album. ”

His certainty, his well-thought out and then executed plan, they’re a balm to my broken soul. There’s no one else on this earth who could break me and heal me, the way Mateo does.

So I let the reins on my life and heart go, and I give them to the one man who’s held them all along.

“I love you. I always have. And I want this life with you. I want any life, as long as it’s with you.

” I press a kiss on his chest, above his racing pulse.

Then I tip my chin upward, taking a small step back to look into his eyes.

The smile he gives me is blinding, only muted through the film of tears pouring from my eyes.

And then he leans forward, his lips hovering above mine.

“I love you Dale. I want to give you the life you deserve. I want to give us both this life.” And then he kisses me, like it’s the ending of a story book, full of love and promise.

But it’s not the end. Our story is only beginning.