Page 43 of For Cowgirls and Kings (The Trauma Bonded #2)

THIRTY-FOUR

MATEO

Gus stretches out in the wooden adirondack chair, his hat pulled over his face. He looks like he could be napping, but I know better. He’s ignoring me.

“Want a beer?” I ask, trying to cut the tension. He crosses his arms in response, settling farther into the chair.

I sigh, standing up, making my way through the back door quietly so I don’t disturb the girls.

Their quiet chattering fills the space, and I can’t help but smile.

My home has never really felt like a warm, inviting place—my father ran it like an army base, and my mom preferred to travel and buy new wardrobes, than homestead.

When my father died, and Valentina moved out, I made some of the spaces my own—my room and the main living space mostly. But hearing their chattering and giggles fill the space feels an awful lot like walking into a real house. I want to bottle it up and save it for once I’m alone again.

I shake my head. I can’t think about that now. Not when I’m desperate to have Dale over and over, even though she’s made no move after that first night. I want to give her her space—I respect her enough to not ruin this for her.

But fuck I’m about ready to crawl out of my skin.

I quickly grab two beers from the fridge and slink out of the room before being noticed. Walking onto the deck, I notice Gus has shifted, sitting slightly straighter, his knuckles white where they ball against his biceps.

Instead of trying to apologize, again, I go for a different move. Maybe I can annoy him into talking.

“I really need some advice about relationships, since you’re an expert now.

” I crack open both beers, setting one next to him.

He still doesn’t move. Fucking stubborn dickhead.

“I don’t like to kiss and tell, but I’m going fucking crazy.

I want to help her heal, but I also want to destroy her.

You know what I mean?” I pause, taking a sip of my beer.

“How did you walk around, acting like you didn’t like Stetson, when really you were stalking her for years?

How did you not crawl out of your skin? Jump her at every turn?

How did you have patience for that long? ”

He shifts, and I can all but see his angry glare, heating my skin even through his hat.

“Did you hook up with other people, just to keep yourself sated? How did you watch her struggle without helping her? Why did you wait so long?” I take a second swig, preparing for another stream of questions when I hear him growl, ripping the hat from his face.

“How, the fuck, do you know all that?” he snarls, and I shoot him a sheepish smile.

I’ve successfully poked the bear, now what? Now you be honest, you dickhead. You owe him that much.

“McCrae talks about you a lot. And when he realized you were in Moztecha, working for the girl , he felt it was important to fill me in on everything. Especially because you were hanging out with a friend I’d told him to keep tabs on.”

Gus’s face’s scrunches, and then he takes a long sip of the beer.

“He acted like you were a dangerous criminal.” I shrug, and Gus sits back, still offering nothing beyond a hate filled glare.

I can do this —anger’s better than silence.

“My sister hired McCrae about two and a half years ago—not sure where she found him, but V’s always had a soft spot for dangerous, violent men. Probably why she hates me so much.”

Gus’s eyes scour my face, and then he leans forward slightly. “What does he do, exactly?”

“He’s V’s security, or enforcer. I use him only when I have a less than savory job, but really he’s more Valentina’s.”

“And the connection to me? What the fuck was that about?”

I rub the back of my neck. I hate the way all of that played out, but it worked in Gus’s favor, so maybe he won’t hate me forever about it.

“I just happened to see you sitting in a booth, arm slung over Dale, not the girl McCrae said you’d been stalking, one night. And call it protective instinct?—”

“More like pissing on your territory,” Gus grumbles and I shrug.

“Whatever. I didn’t like it. And I asked McCrae to just drop in and warn you off.

I knew there was bad blood, and at the time didn’t care.

I thought seeing him would be enough of a surprise to make you stay away from her.

Again, all I knew about you was that you had stalked a girl for ten years, and betrayed your brother. ”

“He almost destroyed everything,” he argues, his grip on the bottle vicious.

“That was all him. He got it in his head that you were going to get in too deep, and not be able to protect yourself. At least that’s what he told me when I confronted him. But I don’t know how much truth there is in that.”

“He never wanted me to be happy. He never wanted me to settle down, or find love—makes you weak. He’s purely selfish. A demon in human form.” His eyes drift off toward the barn where a couple of my hands are busy feeding and putting up the horses for the evening.

I just nod. There’s no point in telling him that I think there’s more to it. Even though I don’t like McCrae, and I hate what he did, I do think there was some good intention there—buried beneath venomous execution.

“Do you like all this?” He sweeps a hand out over the expanse of my family ranch. I follow his gaze, that familiar feeling of discontentment stirring in my chest.

“I like ranching.”

“This isn’t a ranch. This is a kingdom, and you do very little of the labor.”

I want to argue with him. I work hard here. But I didn’t have to work hard for what I have, and I think that’s what’s truly different. Gus doesn’t understand that, and that’s okay.

“What am I supposed to do? Get rid of it?”

“If you want to keep her”—his eyes bore into the side of my face—“you might have to. She doesn’t belong in a place like this.

You asked how I did it? I knew there was no other outcome than being with her.

So waiting, giving up sex, watching her with others, or struggling, whatever the case, was the only option.

It was hard, sure, but it wasn’t even close to as hard as it would have been letting her go. ”

“I know, I just?—”

“No, shut up.”

“It’s not that simple,” I growl, leaning forward.

I suck in a sharp breath, but Gus remains silent, waiting.

Finally I exhale, closing my eyes. “I can’t sell the ranch because I can’t sell the casino.

The estate was set up so that one couldn’t be sold without the other.

And even though I don’t care about the casino, I could never take it away from my sister. ”

“Why not? After everything she’s done?” His voice is full of a skeptical note I refuse to feel. Deep down I owe V, even if I’m also angry with her.

“But—”

“There are no ‘buts’. None. Stetson came first. Every. Fucking. Time. And when I finally got her? I sure as fuck never let her question how much I needed her. I’d cut my own heart out before making her feel for a second like it wasn’t hers.”

I lean back, watching the sun tear sleepy ribbons across the Texas sky. I don’t know what else to say.

Everything Gus is saying is terrifying. Not because I don’t feel that way about Dale, but because I think I do. And what the hell does that mean for my future?