Page 108 of For Cowgirls and Kings

It just takes daily effort to remind myself of that.

I want her and Faith to know me, completely and without reservation. It’s just scary.

“Oh my gosh, you are,” Stetson cackles, and it’s enough to change my mind about letting her see anything.

“And what if we are?” I ask begrudgingly.

“Are you going to answer him?”

“What are they saying? I want to know!” Faith adds, and I face her, heat spreading across my cheeks.

“The last message had something to do with being a good boy and fantasies. Does Papi like to take on the submissive role? Do you call him a good boy? Oh my gosh, do you make him crawl?” Stetson’s face is alight with mischief, and genuine curiosity, and any irritation dissipates.

A memory of Mateo, crawling on all fours towards me, my pussy dripping with his cum from the two times we had already fucked earlier that night, as I demanded he clean me up with his tongue begins to play on loop in my mind.

“I’d actually die to see that man crawl on his knees,” Faith states, fanning herself.

I gape at her. “I’ve never heard you say anything so dirty, Faith!”

My phone buzzes again, and I twitch, but keep my hand firmly clutched to my chest to keep myself from looking at it.

“Just tell him a fantasy so you can both think about it while you stand next to me during the ceremony. It’ll be hot.” Stetson winks.

“I don’t know what fantasies I have. I feel like I’m living my fantasy,” I whisper.

“Do you want to get tied up? Gagged or blindfolded? Oooh, exhibitionism? Gang banged? I bet Mateo has some super hotfriends.” I blink rapidly as Faith lists off kink after kink, not a hint of her normal shyness anywhere in sight. I catch a glance of Stetson whose expression is a similar mix of wonder and terror.

“Who are you and what have you done with Faith?” I demand.

“You guys, of all people, should know that image is just that. An image,” she says, looking at her fingernails, from irritation or embarrassment I’m not sure.

“I know babe, but?—”

“Cosmo, remember? When I feel truly relaxed, I let myself be someone else. My true self. And my true self likes all that shit. I hope to be gang banged at least once, just to see how far I can be stretched?—”

“I need alcohol for this conversation,” Stetson chokes, clutching invisible pearls around her neck. Stetson and I are the farthest thing from prude,but Faith?I thought if you looked up the word in the dictionary, her face would be right there next to it.

“I’ll get some champagne, one glass surely won’t hurt.” I begin standing up, and Faith points at my phone with a sharp look.

“Respond to that sexy man or I will.”

I gulp, shooting her a devilish grin. As shocking as it is to see her like this, I fucking love it. She walks out and I whisper shout to Stetson, “I think you should marry her instead. Fuck, if you don’t, I might.”

“Have you met Gus?” Stetson teases, walking to the window near her bed, looking out over the barn and corral below. I take the short break to open my phone back up.

MATEO: I’ll eat your pussy until you squirt on my face if you tell me.

MATEO: I’ll eat your ass, too. I honestly want to do both.

MATEO: Dale, it can’t be that bad, please tell me. I’m getting desperate.

MATEO: Cowgirl, I’m begging.

I feel like maybe I should be irritated by his bombardment of messages when I made it clear I was busy. But I can’t find it in me to care. Well, I care, but like“love the obsessive attention”kind of care. I love it. I want more of it.Of him.

ME: You’re being a very bad boy.

ME: But I’ll tell you a fantasy, for my benefit and not yours.