Page 14 of Fixate (Devious Mafia Daddies #2)

Pharrell

Lennox shook his head at me, a soft smile on his face.

"I think you might have startled the young man," he said.

I frowned, taking his words to heart. While the older man might have been an employee of mine, he was also a good friend. We had shared cups of coffee and a bite to eat through the years.

It wasn't because there was any type of connection there. Yes, we were similar in age, but our tastes were very different.

Lennox preferred young twinks who would do just about anything to ride his cock, while my type drifted more towards…

My eyes caught on the figure outside the doors. He was standing in a sea of people. And despite all those who passed and blocked my view of him, I could still tell you exactly where he was.

It was as if I was attuned to his body.

"I must have," I finally said after a moment of silence.

I had no reason to stick around the shop. Lennox would charge everything to my account, and the clothes would be sent up to our room once they were done.

Yet I didn't want to leave.

Something had happened. It had unfolded in this space. And while I enjoyed it in the moment, the aftermath seemed too daunting to overcome.

Or maybe I was just exhausted. I had just dealt with my wife's betrayal.

My ability to trust was at an all-time low, even though Ricardo was more than trustworthy and had proven himself as such. He'd been loyal to the Romano family for decades. I didn't know much of his story, but what I did know told me a lot.

Even with Domenico on a rampage, Ricardo had stood by the family side. Granted, it only looked that way to outsiders. His true loyalty was to Dante.

And for some reason, that made me like him even more, because that meant he could discern good power from the bad.

I waved to Lennox and turned to leave.

As I was about to cross out into the main floor, my phone rang. I pulled it out blindly, then froze as I saw who was calling.

Did he know I was thinking of him? Is that why? Or was something else going on?

I answered before it got sent to voicemail.

"Dante," I said, by way of reading.

He chuckled. "Yes, it's me. You do have my number saved, I would hope.”

I could hear Preacher grumbling in the background. Something that sounded a lot like “don't flirt."

It caused me to laugh as well.

"Tell your Daddy we're not flirting before he gets on a plane and comes over here to try and beat the shit out of me.”

Dante hummed. "I'll tell him before he actually gets on the plane. I like him being a little riled up, you know?"

I shook my head and smiled, though he couldn't see me. Dante's relationship with Preacher was something I envied. The two of them were so relaxed together. It was a natural level of chemistry. I longed for something similar.

It wasn't possible considering how long those two had been together and the shitstorm I was currently dealing with.

Plus, there was Ricardo.

My gaze shifted back over to him as I waited to see what Dante wanted.

I asked, “Of course. What wouldn’t be fun about that?"

He stayed silent for another few seconds before asking, "How is he?"

"He's adjusting," I said. "He's only been here a few hours, and he’s slept most of that time."

"He slept?"

I made an agreeable noise. "He did. He also instructed me to sleep. Apparently, we were both in dire need of rest.”

There was nothing for a minute, then Dante said to Preacher, "I'm going to take this."

I heard the other man reply that he understood, and then there was the sound of steps and a door closing across the line. It seemed as if Dante had something he wanted to say to me privately.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm worried about Ricardo," he admitted.

I felt a slight shock at his open honesty. Not because Dante normally kept secrets from me, but more because him telling me this meant that there was more I didn't know.

I already wanted to unravel everything there was to know about Ricardo. This conversation was only increasing my curiosity.

"Why are you worried about him?"

"Because he's been acting differently," Dante said. "Ever since the fight at the compound, I've noticed him drifting. I thought it was simply because he was exhausted or because he was trying to find balance with all the work. We had a lot of men we had to sort out.”

"Tell me about it," I said. "I'm still trying to weed out every rat."

"It's hard work," Dante agreed.

"It's good to have people that you believe in, people you can trust to help you take out these men."

I thought then of Pip and Henri and how they had stepped up to take charge when I needed them to. Both were going to be promoted just as soon as I figured out every other fucking detail that needed handling.

Dante continued. "Anyway, he has just been acting differently. And then one day, he came into the office and said he was leaving. That he had to come there to you and take care of stuff. I'm torn between being happy that he took initiative and frustrated that one of my best men is now gone.”

"I would think that you would want him to step up," I said by way of answering.

To know that Ricardo had taken the initiative himself to come changed things.

"Haven't you always said that the man was strong-willed, that he was the type who wanted to make sure a job was done, who planned things down to every meticulous piece?"

"I have said that," Dante agreed. "It's amazing what you can remember."

I remember everything about Ricardo, I wanted to tell him.

I kept my mouth shut though, because the man was standing not all that far from me. The noise around us was enough to block out the conversation I was having about him, but only just barely.

Also, I felt like Dante would immediately see the truth beneath those words if I spoke them aloud.

What I felt for Ricardo bordered on obsession. I was fixated on him in a way I hadn't been with anyone else. No amount of hooking up or completing deals with new clients could take away the temptation that he created simply by existing in my presence.

"What do you need me to do, Dante?"

"Is there some type of thing I should be looking out for, or do you want me to update you?"

The two of us weren't necessarily in the same organization, more like brother organizations, if you will. We had some of the same contacts and functions in the same manner, but we each led our own groups of people.

Our alliance allowed us to work together, which made this conversation work as it was. Any other person calling me with this bullshit would have gotten an earful from me.

Dante let out a deep breath and said, "Just be careful with him, okay? Whatever is going on, I think it involves you, and I think — ” He paused. “I think he might be confused.”

My body went tight at what he was suggesting.

“Confused how? Put it in plain terms for me, Dante.”

The other man mumbled something I couldn't hear before he said, "I think he has a crush on you, or at least a curiosity about you.

He's always gotten a bit flustered when I mentioned your name, and with Preacher back in my life, I've noticed him paying attention to us a bit more. He has unfortunately caught us in the heat of the moment a few times, and from the way he has reacted, he is aware of the kinks we partake in. Kinks that you also partake in.”

I stepped away from the entry and turned one corner into the store.

The space was still empty, and since Lennox had gone to the back of the shop to work on the clothes, presumably I had room to talk.

It was more private here, so I felt safe when I asked him, "You think he wants to be my boy? You think he's curious about a relationship?"

There was so much hope in my voice. I knew it, and Dante knew it. He had the decency not to call me out on it. If he had, I don't know what I would have done.

There was no need to admit what we both knew to be true.

I had always liked Ricardo, had always found him attractive to a certain extent, and with my situation, with my now deceased wife, I could have easily pursued him.

But the man was straight. Always had been. Even though I'd never seen him with a woman or heard of his conquests, I knew this to be fact. Had he given me any indication that he wanted to experiment with me, I would have jumped at the chance.

I wasn't one of those men who saw straight guys in challenge, nor was I the type to rule them out completely.

Some people had no clue about their sexuality until they got a chance to explore it. I had a feeling Ricardo was one of those men.

Having been so young when he came into Domenico's reign, there was no chance for him to find out what he enjoyed.

I wanted to be the one to help him figure it out.

I wanted to be the one that he asked questions to, that he pleaded with to try something new.

I wanted to spoil him and dote on him.

I wanted to make him feel alive in the way a relationship I craved could do.

“I don't intend to hurt him,” I said after a few seconds of silence between us. “I've never wanted to hurt him.”

"That's good. I don't think you ever would intentionally, but just keep your eyes open, you know?

Make sure that you're not leading him on and that he's not fully thinking when he goes into situations.

If he has questions, let him know to call me.

I know you're capable, but damn it, I’m his friend.

And sometimes asking the person you're interested in is not as easy as just asking someone you know.”

I laughed softly. "Yes, I'm aware. I get what you're saying. I promise that I will make sure to keep an eye on him.”

I didn't tell him that Ricardo had already shown signs of wanting to experiment, and that we had already begun to cross that line. It would have only worried him more.

Preacher would have heard his distress and the two of them would be on a plane ride when they had no business coming. If they came and didn't like what they saw, then they might try to take him from me.

And I refused to let that happen.

Dante sighed one last time, then his voice turned even softer, as he said.

"Ricardo has never had a person, you know?

Even when Preacher and I were apart, I had him.

I had those memories, and I had hope that maybe one day fate could work out and we would be together again.

But Ricardo hasn't had that. He's always been about the organization and the family.

He's done what he's been told over and over again, never indulging in himself. The man is practically a saint when it comes to being the type of worker you want in your camp.”

“I understand what you're not saying,” I told Dante.

He wasn't elaborating a lot. But what he did say gave me an insight into the man that I was quickly as far too obsessed with.

"He'll have me," I said in a steely tone. "No matter what happens, no matter how he feels, I can be that person for him."

The words were out before I truly gave them thought.

Because despite wanting them to be true, I could not guarantee that Dante or Ricardo would even want me to be his person. That he even felt like he needed a person.

This was all brought on from Dante's worry, from his belief that something else was going on. And while I agreed with him, I also knew that making assumptions often led to problems.

“What I mean is I'll be there for him and whatever he needs, it won't change things. If it comes down to it, and I see that there's a need that I can't help with, then I'll call you. How does that sound?”

"Perfect," Dante said quickly. "That's all I wanted. Thank you, Pharrell. You are a good friend. I'm glad that it was you that he chose to go to."

I hummed my agreement, then ended the call. There wasn't anything left to say. He'd given me a lot to think about and while I was concerned about what was to come, I knew one thing for certain: I would keep my word to Dante.

I would be the person that Ricardo needed me to be, whether that was his friend, his lover, or even his Daddy. I would do it.