Page 84 of First Offense

A fact I’d learned after that night.

The man whom I’d given my virginity to had been a skilled asset of the court. A male many of the females in the dukedom preferred in their beds.

Learning that had destroyed my entire experience.

But Anthony had felt the need to tell me, to confess he’d been assigned to my sexual training.

Which was when I’d learned the truth about my incoming suitors. They wanted an experienced mate.

I’d understood at the time and had taken it all in stride. But looking back upon it now, I felt a measure of anger toward my father. He’d spent so many years teaching me how to lead, or so I’d thought. Yet he hadn’t mentioned the troubles with the rogue Noir. He never discussed expansion. He didn’t even talk about how to run the council.

It was always about my courtship.

Leading with a smile.

And choosing the right mate.

“But none of them felt right,” I mumbled out loud, more to myself than to Auric.

“What does that even mean?” he demanded. “Their temperaments weren’t right? They didn’t fuck you right? They didn’t kiss you right? What wasn’t ‘right’ about them?”

My wings flared. “I told you—”

But he wasn’t done.

“I’m going to break this down for you. We now believe a Fall can be caused by disobeying an edict or an order. And your father demanded you treat your suitors respectfully. But instead, you expressed disinterest, denying second meetings, avoiding dinners, and hiding with gods know who. That doesn’t sound all that respectful,Princess.”

I bristled at his summary. “How was it considered respectful of them to pressure me for a second meeting after I expressed disinterest?”

“How was it respectful to them for refusing their suit without getting to know them properly?” he countered.

“But there wasn’t a point,” I argued. “It was a waste of our time. We didn’t suit.”

“Based on what?” he pressed. “An initial meeting?”

“That’s all I needed to know they weren’t a match.”

“Let me guess—because they didn’t measure up to a former lover?” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “Your father probably hired your consorts, Layla. None of those dukedom prats could ever measure up.”

“It wasn’t that,” I promised. I knew better than to compare them to my previous boyfriends, if they could even be called that. Because Auric was right. They were consorts.

How did he guess that? Or had he known my fate when he left?

I frowned, not liking that thought at all.

“Then what was it?” He was in my face now, demanding a response. “What could possibly cause you to disrespect your suitors in that manner?”

“I didn’t disrespect them.”

“You did. And I suspect it’s why you Fell. You disrespected them by running off with someone unauthorized—”

“I hid alone,” I snapped.

“Of course you did.”

“I did!”

He snorted. “All because they didn’t suit.”