Page 35 of Finding Home (Willow Valley #1)

THIRTY-FIVE

CHLOE

S pending my entire day not only thinking about Everett, but also worrying about him has my emotions in a scramble.

I was the one who said I wanted labels, that I wanted to be exclusive.

The giddy feeling that overtook me during that conversation had me using all my strength not to do an excited little dance in the middle of my childhood bedroom.

Then the reality of it all settled in. I feel that seed of fear that I buried days ago crack and a small root peek out of the shell. With that single phone call, I handed Everett the tools to break me if he chooses to.

While that thought was frightening, it was also liberating.

I haven’t handed anyone a piece of myself the way I have with Everett.

I’ve told him things I haven’t told anyone, and with every secret and piece of myself I’ve handed him, I’ve only felt safe.

He sees me in a way that no other person does, not even my best friends, and it’s been this enchanting feeling that’s only made me want to fall further into him.

When Lila and I get home from my parents’, she asks if she can help with dinner.

I agree, and we get to work. As I’m pulling the casserole out of the oven, Everett walks in the front door.

From the look on his face, I can tell something’s weighing on him, but he heads straight to Lila and hugs her, picking her up as he kisses her cheek, and she snuggles into him .

I lean against the counter, watching them.

The way he stands there holding his daughter like the most precious thing in the world fills the room with love.

One of my favourite things to see is the two of them together.

I’ve watched them, and as much as Lila needs her dad, Everett needs her.

He hasn’t said it, but I know she’s his reason for living.

Everything he does in life is for his family, but first and foremost that little girl.

Knowing I get to be a part of making sure she has everything she needs and is well loved and taken care of fills me with joy and pride.

Everett’s eyes open and meet mine. My smile takes over my entire face, and he mouths Hey before placing another kiss on Lila’s cheek and putting her back on the ground.

“Daddy, Chloe and I made dinner,” Lila says as she slides into her seat at the table.

“Did you? I’m sure it’s amazing.”

I carry the casserole over to the table and grab the salad before taking my seat. Everett joins us and asks Lila, “How was your day, Peanut? I heard you went to Chloe’s parents’.”

She nods as she stabs a tomato with her fork. “Chloe said we couldn’t ride horses because of the rain, but Mimi Maxwell made crafts with me. It was so cool. I painted a cow and dog, and she said I can bring them home the next time I’m at her house.”

Everett raises a brow at me.

“My mom asked her to call her that. She’s not big on the grandma name.”

His hand finds my leg under the table, and he squeezes. “I can’t wait to see what you made, Liles.”

“We’ll go for a ride when it’s not raining. I’m sure Miley would love to see you again,” I tell her.

Lila hops in her seat. “Yay! Can I brush her when it rains?” she asks, and I nod. “I think Miley’s lonely, and I like spending time with her.”

This little girl. Those words tug at my heart.

“Of course, we can brush her when it rains.” I turn to Everett and ask, “How’s your grandma?”

He swallows. “She’s doing okay. She was awake when I left, in fact, she kicked me out of her room and sent me home to have dinner with you girls.”

I can tell he’s not telling me everything right now, but with Lila right there, I can’t blame him.

He’s doing everything he can to ensure she knows what’s going on so she’s not completely blindsided by everything as it comes up, all while trying to protect her innocence.

He’s walking a tightrope and hoping he doesn’t fall, and I only hope that I offer him the support he needs to cross.

I decide to move the conversation on to a lighter topic. “So, my friend Aspen’s engagement party is coming up in a few weeks,” I say.

The sag in Everett’s shoulders is a relief.

“What’s an engagement party?” Lila asks.

“It’s a party people throw before they get married. Aspen’s boyfriend Jason proposed to her, and they’re going to get married.”

Lila nods before she nearly knocks me off my chair with her next question. “Do you have a boyfriend, Chloe?”

I look between her and Everett, torn about what to say. Everett does nothing to help, just watches me with curiosity in his eyes. I settle on telling her the truth, just not all of it.

“I do.”

The corner of Everett’s lips twitch, but that’s as much of a reaction as I get from him.

“Are you gonna marry him?”

Everett and I simultaneously start coughing, and I rub my chest.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. That’s a big decision.”

My eyes flick to Everett, and he seems to have put up his wall, and that bothers me. Is the thought of marrying me that bad?

“I don’t think you should,” Lila says, breaking some of the tension in the air. My brows shoot up my face, and Everett stares at her. “I think you should date Daddy.”

I work to fight my smile as Everett stares at her in disbelief.

“Has Daddy been too grumpy for you to date him?” she asks so casually it takes me a few seconds to exit my confusion.

I shake my head. “No, he hasn’t been too grumpy.”

I don’t want to be the one to tell her we’re already together. That’s entirely up to Everett. That doesn’t mean I’m not curious as to why Lila wants me to date her father .

“Can I ask you something, Lila?” I ask, and she nods as she takes another bite of her food. “Why do you want me to date your dad?”

“Because you’re nice and I think you make Daddy happy. Daddy smiles now. And maybe if you date Daddy, one day you can be my mommy. When Katie’s mom started dating Tristan, she got a new daddy, so it must work the same way.”

The way the words leave her as though this is the most normal conversation in the world has me frozen as tears well behind my eyes.

I’ve never heard Lila talk about her mom.

I don’t know how often she talks about her with Everett; I’ve never wanted to pry.

But this precious little girl just wants a mom, and I can’t blame her.

I love mine, and I don’t know what I’d do without her.

She’s a safe space for me, and I know she’ll always be there for me.

When I look over at Everett, pain is etched on his face. He wipes his mouth with his napkin and abandons his food, turning to face Lila better.

He leans forward and tucks stray hair behind Lila’s ear, and she looks up at him. “Liles, you know Daddy loves you, right?”

“Yes, Daddy. I love you, too.”

His thumb strokes her cheek, and I’m fighting the wave of emotions fighting to burst free of me.

“And you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

She nods again.

“That means if you have any questions, about anything…” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Including your mom, you can ask me.”

Lila looks at him, a shine in her eyes making me have to close mine to not break. She doesn’t say anything, but I hear the screech of her chair against the floor, and when I open my eyes, she’s wrapped in Everett’s arms. He’s kissing her temple and whispering to her as her arms tighten around him.

I silently get out of my seat to leave the kitchen to give them some space. As I move to walk past Everett’s chair, he catches my wrist, stopping me. He pulls back from Lila and pulls her into his lap.

“Lila, you know how Chloe said she has a boyfriend?”

Lila wipes at her tears and nods .

“What if I told you Daddy’s her boyfriend?”

My jaw drops, and my cheeks heat. I quickly compose myself as Lila’s attention moves to me, a small smile on her face.

I nod, as though confirming his announcement, and she slides off his lap and wraps her arms around my legs, her tears renewed as she squeezes me tight.

I work to undo her grip on me and move my hands under her arms and pick her up.

She wraps her arms around my neck and holds on, as if willing me to never leave.

Her hold on me has my resolve crumbling and my own tears falling as I instinctively start swaying while I run a hand up and down her back. This moment feels like it’s been the culmination of so much and she’s just hit a point where she can’t hold it in any more.

I know that feeling. The need to be strong and hold it all together, and then one thing happens, big or small, and it crumbles everything. The difference is I was almost ten years older than Lila when it happened to me the first time. She’s way too young to be dealing with this.

I kiss her temple, run my hand over her hair, and whisper, “I’ve got you, my sweet girl,” and her tears continue. I start walking with her, this innate need to hold her and let her know I’m here for her making me not care that she’s starting to feel a little heavy in my arms.

After some pacing, she’s still tightly wrapped around me, and I settle on the couch, not ready to let her go.

Everett comes over and kisses the top of her head before cradling the side of my face with his hand, and I see so much emotion in his eyes as he stares at me.

I’ve never seen him look at me that way.

I turn and kiss his palm before he kisses the top of my head and heads back into the kitchen.

Lila and I sit on the couch, neither of saying anything, until I fall asleep with her still in my lap and my cheek pressed to her hair.