Page 8 of Finding Haven (Haven #2)

Quinn

Brew Break, the coffee shop down the street from Buttersweet Bakery, is the perfect place for a caffeine fix before work.

It’s still early enough that a layer of fog is draped over parts of the city, the distant sound of the waves crashing along the shore easily heard without the midday traffic lining the streets.

The combined scent of freshly brewed coffee and ocean air somehow makes it easier to take a deep breath,

“I’ve been waiting for this all day,” Becca groans dramatically as she raises the paper to-go coffee cup to her lips.

I shake my head, laughing. “You act like we’ve been awake for hours,” I tease, taking a sip from my iced coffee, hints of vanilla and hazelnut bursting on my tongue.

“Two hours awake without my caffeine fix is more than enough, thank you very much. I’ll need another hit later to make it through the day,” she says before diving into a ramble about work and how much one of her co-workers is driving her insane.

“Anyway, distract me,” she sighs. “How’s your Frisk account going?

” she asks, taking another drink from her coffee before setting the cup on the table.

The bell above the door chimes as two guys walk in, brows raised as they quickly glance in our direction, no doubt having heard her question. One of them smirks while the other attempts to hide a smile, their eyes darting away from us as they move towards the counter to order.

“Geeze, Bex. Say it a little louder, would ya?” I laugh, covering my face with my palm to hide the blush crawling up my neck.

She shrugs, rolling her eyes. “Ignore them. Are you having fun with it?”

I let her question mull around in my mind for a moment.

If I’m being honest, I’m enjoying the account a lot more than I thought I would.

I was nervous about putting myself out there in the beginning, but keeping my identity somewhat hidden has helped to quell my nerves.

And the extra income is definitely needed.

“Actually, I kinda love it.” I bite my bottom lip with a slight smile.

“I didn’t think I would, but it makes me feel–” Powerful. In control.

“Like you’re a badass?” she teases, her lips pulling into a knowing smile.

I huff out a laugh. “Exactly. It’s been going really well.

My account’s grown faster than I thought it would, and I just had someone pay for my highest subscription tier, which feels insane.

I still haven’t even gone live. I feel like if I do, I’ll be giving up a piece of that control, you know?

” There isn’t much in my life that I feel like I have control over.

The idea of relinquishing control, even over something that doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal, has my stomach tightening.

She leans in and lowers her voice as the guys before walk past our table with their drinks in hand. “I think you should try it. Imagine all the reactions from men completely losing their shit over how hot you are.”

Becca is a very free-spirited and open person, and she’s the biggest hype-girl I know.

I just can’t imagine giving away something so personal.

More importantly, I don’t know how I feel about giving up that level of control, but I can’t lie and pretend the idea doesn’t send a wave of heat rushing over my skin.

Reading comments and private messages is one thing, but to be able to see those kinds of responses flood through on a chat screen while I pleasure myself live? Could I even do something like that?

My conversation with Becca has been playing on a loop in my mind all night.

As soon as we got home, I dove down a rabbit hole of research.

I’ve finally come to a conclusion after nearly two hours of watching videos from fellow creators.

If I want to make a decent amount of money, like the kind that would give me a chance to fix my car and slowly climb out of debt, then I need to put myself out there.

I need to go live on Frisk. But I also need a way to maintain some semblance of control, which is why I’ve decided to try something a little different.

I’m going to go live, but if anyone wants to see more than what I’ll be showing, they’ll need to pay for a private session—something I’m only offering for my top-tier subscribers.

There’s still this fear that not a single person will want a private session, but I’m willing to try.

The money I’ve made from photo and video content has been great, but it could be better.

I’m still nowhere near being able to live comfortably.

At this point, I’d even settle for somewhat comfortable.

Like “my bills are paid and I’m stocked up on medical supplies, but I can’t afford to do anything fun” comfortable .

Tonight will be the test run. After scouring through my lingerie wardrobe, I settled on a dark purple lace bralette and coordinating lace cheeky panties to go with my purple mask.

I know that black tends to be the go-to color for all things lingerie, but wearing too many dark colors tends to leave me feeling…

well, dark. Being able to incorporate pops of vibrant colors into my wardrobe, even one meant to be sexual and alluring, helps me to still feel like myself.

Even while doing something that’s so far out of my comfort zone that if you’d told me a few months ago I would be camming for money, I probably would have laughed in your face.

And not just a cute little giggle, but a full blown, fall-down-crying laugh.

I’m sitting on my bed with my back pressed to the headboard, finger hovering over the “Go Live” button as butterflies flutter in my stomach. This is probably a terrible idea, but maybe I’ll get lucky and none of my subscribers will be online to see the notification.

Who am I kidding? That would be a disaster!

I need at least a few of them to be on in order for this to work.

I hate having to rely on public transportation and ride-share apps.

I’m so freaking sick of feeling like I have no control of whether or not I actually get to class or work on time.

I can’t afford to lose my job or for my grades to suffer because of it.

With tuition being due soon, something has to give.

I can’t continue to just struggle through life.

But… What if someone is online? What if they do see the notification, join my livestream, and request a private session?

What will they want me to do? I know I’m not obligated to obey their command, but I’d feel bad taking their money only to deny their request. Goosebumps pepper along my arms as I take in a deep breath and tap the button, officially starting my first ever live session.