Page 14 of Finding Haven (Haven #2)

Quinn

“I really love this one,” I say, running my hands down the front of the light blue lace bodysuit.

I slowly spin for the camera, letting my subscribers see my body from all angles as I show off the thong back.

I sweep my blonde hair back and look over one shoulder towards the phone screen, the coordinating blue mask keeping my face concealed.

It’s so much easier to show myself on a livestream where I don’t have to set up any special equipment.

At first, I was hesitant to only have natural lighting at my disposal, but I always make sure to adjust the highlights, shadows, contrast, and exposure for any content I post.

What if viewers don’t want to see me just as I am?

It’s the day I change out my pump site and continuous glucose monitor, so I can record videos from every angle without someone questioning the white thing on my arm or leg.

They’ll be able to see every inch of my body that I choose to show them, and for a moment, I can pretend that my body isn’t internally different.

All of my doubt and insecurity completely flew out the window as soon I clicked the LIVE button and the comments started flowing in from subscribers who immediately tuned in.

A few of the usual vulgar remarks sprinkled in, but for the most part, everyone was respectful.

They were giving me a much-needed confidence boost .

I spin back around to face my phone, which is currently attached to a tall tripod, and read through the comments on the screen. Running a hand through my hair, I pull the strands over one shoulder and tug my bottom lip between my teeth.

“You guys are so sweet. I do love this color, but I don’t know if it’s my favorite.”

Taking a step back, I give one last slow spin for the camera, pausing just long enough with my back facing the camera to stretch my arms behind my head, fingers tangling in my hair as I arch my back.

The position does wonders for the shape of my ass, especially with the thong back of the bodysuit, and I can only imagine the view those watching are being gifted with.

“What color would you like to see next?” I ask, stepping over to my bed where I have a few different sets laid out.

“Looks like I still have a rose pink, a dark green, and a navy blue set I can show you. I’ve only got time for one more today, though.

You’ll just have to be patient if you wanna see the rest.” I take a moment to hold each item up for the camera, letting my viewers get a good look before throwing in their votes.

The navy blue and dark green pieces are both bodysuits, but the rose pink set consists of a lace bralette style top and matching cheeky panties.

I’ve been wearing a lot of bodysuits for photo content, but the two-piece sets make filming videos a little easier. Admittedly, I’ve been dying to try something a little more risque. I want to step out of my comfort zone, but I can’t bring myself to make the jump on my own.

Comments start to flood in as subscribers vote for which color they would most like to see, but a comment from him is what finalizes my decision .

“Looks like pink is the winner,” I say, laying the other two back down on the bed before I step out of the camera’s view, taking off the current bodysuit and slipping on the pink set.

Knowing that Z is watching has my mind spinning in a dozen different directions.

He wouldn’t bother to join my livestream if I had completely ruined everything with my body’s mishap during our private session, right?

He still enjoys my content enough to chime in with his opinion.

Which apparently, means more to me than the opinion of the rest of the people watching, considering the majority vote before he chimed in was for navy blue, not pink.

Whatever he wants, he’s going to get.

The chat window goes wild after I step back into the camera’s view, showing off the two-piece set, cementing my decision to take a little bit of the money I’ve earned from Frisk so far and splurge on a few more outfits.

I’ll justify the cost by convincing myself that the only way to grow my account is to continuously provide new content, which in part, involves changing what I’m wearing.

“Alright, guys, as much as I’d love to stay and keep talking, I really should get going,” I say, keeping my voice light and flirty. I blow a kiss for the camera and end the LIVE, the chat window closing to reveal an unread message in my inbox.

I didn’t think I would ever be shopping for new lingerie to meet a subscriber’s demands, but here I am, browsing through displays at a boutique that Becca and I found in Sutton Ridge.

Finding a gap in our schedules when we’re both available can be hard, and it’s been way too long since we last spent the day together.

I’ve managed to catch up a little bit with the extra money I’ve been bringing in, thanks to Frisk.

Not enough to go completely crazy, but I can manage grabbing an inexpensive lunch with my best friend and buying something sexy for a stranger on the internet.

God, that sounds ridiculous.

A stranger who continues to steal all of my focus and attention whenever we talk.

NoMerZ reached out a few days ago and sent me payment for a private session, but he had a special request. He asked me to wear something that only he would see.

Knowing that he chose the color pink when I let my viewers pick my outfit the other day, that’s the color I’m looking for.

Becca and I had to do a little bit of research to find an actual lingerie boutique, and not some rundown adult toy store that also happened to sell lingerie.

Trust me, there’s a difference.

The moment we walked into the boutique, we were greeted with a well-lit store, elegant displays with accents of black and light pink, and soft pop music playing in the background.

“What exactly are you looking for?” Becca asks as she admires a strappy, black lace bodysuit that’s a bit too far out of my comfort zone.

“Nothing like that,” I tease, nodding at what she’s holding in her hands and laughing lightly as she runs her fingers over the straps that criss-cross over the torso. “You would look hot in that,” I tell her honestly.

“I would, wouldn’t I?” she says, holding it out a bit to get a closer look.

“You should get it.” I step over to a wall of various two-piece sets, staring at a few different ones before I pull my phone out of my back pocket.

Opening up my chat with NoMerZ on the app, I quickly snap a photo of the display and send it to him.

I don’t even know if he’ll see the message right away.

He might have his notifications turned off, or hell, he probably has work like most people and won’t be able to respond.

My phone buzzes in the palm of my hand, startling me and making me nearly drop it as a message from Z comes in.

NoMerZ:

Are you shopping for me, Sugar?

Heat rushes through my body and rises to my cheeks.

Him and that dang nickname. I know it’s just because of my username, but I can’t deny that it’s getting to me.

Minutes pass before I realize I’ve been biting at the inside of my bottom lip and staring at his message.

Another one comes through before I can type out a response.

NoMerZ:

I can’t wait to see what you choose.

I open the camera on my phone, stretch my arm out in front of me, and angle it down so that only the lower half of my face is visible along with my body and a wall of lacy things in the background.

I quickly look over the photo, making sure no identifying features are visible before I send it to him along with a message.

Any preferences?

His response comes through a few seconds later.

NoMerZ:

I want you to pick something that you’ll enjoy wearing just as much as you would enjoy having me rip it from your body.

I really shouldn’t be this affected by his words, but the fantasy of him being the one to rip the fabric off of me has made me all the more eager to hurry up and find something.

I’m suddenly desperate to get home and jump on camera for him.

I never thought I’d be this excited about talking to a faceless stranger, but each conversation with him, no matter how brief, seems to awaken something deep within me.

A curiosity that has lain dormant beneath the surface, waiting for the chance to be explored.

The odds of me ever meeting him in person are slim, but that does nothing to prevent me from allowing myself to imagine what it would be like to finally see his face and feel his hands on my body.

Would he be just as kind in person as he is online?

Would he live up to the expectations he’s creating in my mind, or does he simply use words as a form of foreplay without any intention of following through?

I don’t have time to waste on a man who’s full of empty promises.

My life is chaotic enough as it is. What I really need, what I crave, is a partner.

Someone who will come into my life, help me find balance, support me and stand up for me, be my rock on the crazy days, and let me do the same for them.

Someone who will calm the raging storm that has forever been plaguing my mind.

“Every time I walk away, I just end up looking across the room at it or comparing everything else to this,” Becca says, walking up to stand at my side with the strappy bodysuit in her hand.

“Did you find anything for your mystery man yet?” She peers over my shoulder and scoffs when she sees my empty hands.

I release a heavy sigh and say, “I don’t know why this is so hard.

” I throw a hand out, gesturing to the endless options surrounding us.

“There are so many that I love, but I keep getting stuck on wondering what he would love.” Everything I’ve worn on camera so far has been just for me.

I don’t choose my outfits with anyone else in mind.

As much as the photos and videos are for my subscribers, the lingerie is for me.

Wearing it has always made me feel beautiful, sexy, and powerful, even when the lace is hidden beneath my clothing and isn’t visible to anyone else.

“C’mon, Quinn, you know that man is gonna lose his shit over anything you choose.

He wouldn’t be fucking paying for private sessions if he didn’t like what he saw.

Nothing you wear is going to change his opinion of you.

Not in a bad way, anyway. If anything, you’re just gonna make the poor guy feral. ”

With Becca’s help and another thirty minutes spent browsing and trying things on, I finally manage to find two pieces that I can’t bring myself to choose between. I don’t necessarily have the money to buy more than one new set, but I’m dying to see his reaction.

The woman at the register greets us with a smile and rings Becca up while I pull out my phone and quickly log in to my banking app, checking my balance and trying to justify splurging on the two new lingerie sets.

I already paid my prescription delivery service for my supplies this month, but I still have a few bills that I need to catch up on.

Then again, changing up what I wear will help bring variety to my account.

I’ll just consider this a business expense.

“Miss?” The woman’s voice breaks me from my thoughts .

“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m ready,” I say, stepping forward and laying the two lingerie sets on the counter, each a different shade of pink.

“These are some of my favorite sets that we have. You’re going to love them,” she says, carefully scanning the items, removing any security tags, and wrapping the lingerie in tissue paper before slipping it into a discreet gift bag.

I’m standing with my debit card in hand, ready to swipe it and pay for my items, when she hands me the bag and says, “You’re all set!”

Wait, what?

I turn to Becca, my brows pinched together. “You didn’t have to pay for my stuff.”

She shakes her head and shrugs. “I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry for the confusion, miss. Your boyfriend called a little bit ago and took care of everything.

You’re so lucky! I don’t know many men who would bother to spoil their girls like this.

” Her smile is bright, a sparkle of jealousy twinkling in her eyes.

She’s completely oblivious to the shock that I’m sure is written across my face.

Becca turns to me, her eyebrows pinched together as she silently mouths “boyfriend?”

I shrug my shoulders and take the bag from the woman.

“Did he—” How do I even phrase this? I can’t exactly ask her what the man’s name was, unless I want her to look at me like I’m some kind of crazy person who doesn’t know her own boyfriend’s name.

“Did he happen to leave a note or anything?” I ask, trying to keep the confusion out of my voice.

“I’m sorry, but no,” she says with a soft smile.

Even without her confirmation, there isn’t a single doubt in my mind that this was somehow NoMerZ’s doing. I don’t know how he found out where I was, but the idea of him lurking in the shadows somewhere nearby sends a thrill through my body.