Page 34 of Fated to the Alpha Warrior (The Wolf’s Forbidden Mate #1)

Kieran

My wolf howls in agony as Aurora disappears into the ruins.

The urge to chase after her is overwhelming, nearly impossible to resist. My legs are shaking from battle fatigue and pent-up arousal.

The taste of her lingers on my tongue; honey and lilac and something uniquely her.

I can still feel the caress of her hands on my bare chest, the warmth of her body through her clothes as I pulled her against me.

I’ll never forget the way her soft lips yielded to mine, her submission a gorgeous complement to her strength.

A sharp pain lances my chest as the rejected bond throbs, desperate to be completed. My wolf claws at my skin, trying to get out, desperate to follow our mate. He’s furious with me—and he doesn’t understand why I keep denying him what we both need.

Weakness is poison. Even after all these years, I still hear my father’s voice in my head as if he were my own subconscious mind. An alpha must be strong above all else. Otherwise, he cannot lead his pack.

All I feel is weak as I pull on my spare clothes with trembling hands. My skin is still sticky with drying fae blood, and my muscles ache from the fight. But it’s nothing next to the pain in my chest where the rejected bond sits.

There’s nothing else to do now except find her.

So I follow her scent through the ruins, uncertain if she even wants me near, but certain I have to protect her.

The trail leads away from the underground chamber where we fought the fae, winding through crumbling buildings and jagged walls that sprout from the ground like old memories.

She’s bleeding, little sharp drops of her scent scattered everywhere. My wolf whines with concern at the smell. Aurora may have shifter healing, but it’s slow, and those fae claws packed a punch. Someone needs to help her.

Eventually I find her near a small stream that cuts through what was once the center of Pack Onyx land.

She’s sitting on an old wooden bench that’s miraculously held up, staring at her feet, her shirt split open in the back where the wound oozes and drips blood.

Her ash blonde hair falls forward to hide her face, but I can sense her pain through the bond.

“Your back.” I try not to startle her as I approach. “Let me help you clean the wound.”

Her eyes don’t lift at all. “It’s fine. It’ll heal.”

“No, it isn’t, and it won’t heal right.” I take a step closer, hating the way she tenses at my approach. “Please, Aurora. At least let me look at it. I won’t—I won’t do anything.”

For a long, torturous moment I think she’ll refuse. Other options flit through my mind, easily discarded—she would hate me if I ever used my wolf to dominate her, and I’m not sure he’d even let me do it. Then, with a heavy sigh, she turns slightly, presenting her back to me.

A gesture of trust that I don’t deserve. Feeling the weight of that fact, I approach carefully, like she’s a wild horse about to bolt.

The claw marks are deep enough that they’ve torn through muscle, although they didn’t hit bone.

I try not to stare at the expanse of golden skin on display, but it’s hard when arousal is still thrumming through my veins and the taste of her is on my tongue.

Training with Dana has given her muscle definition, and she’s put on curves over it, ones that make my mouth water.

Clearing my throat, I focus on using my canteen and some gauze from my pack to clean the wounds. “These will scar no matter what I do.”

“Add them to my collection.” Her voice is bitter. “What’s a few more when I’m already so imperfect?”

The words are a physical blow, as they’re meant to be. “Aurora…”

“Don’t.” She tries to pull away, so I gently catch her shoulder and keep her in place.

“Please. Let me take care of you.”

After a moment she stills, relaxing on the bench, so I continue cleaning her wounds in silence. Each swipe of the gauze reveals more damage—and a network of scars underneath. Training accidents, if I had to guess, from learning to defend herself.

Because of me. Because I made her feel like she was weak, and ever since, she’s been trying to prove that she’s strong.

“About what happened back there,” I start, only to stop when I realize I have no idea what to say next. That I’m sorry? Or that I wish things were different? I have my reasons for doing what I did, and they haven’t changed, even though the way I feel about Aurora has deepened into love.

“It was a mistake,” Aurora says flatly. “Trust me, I know.”

“That’s not what—” I pause. “I don’t want to just say it was a mistake and leave it at that.”

“It’s fine, Kieran. We both got caught up in the moment. Battle lust and adrenaline, plus the bond… it happened. Let’s just focus on finishing our investigation so we can go home.”

She pulls away, barely looking at me as she accepts the spare shirt I offer.

Pulling it on over her head, she rips the rags of the torn-up shirt beneath off, and my stomach does funny things at the sight of her wearing my clothes.

With nothing between the fabric of the shirt and her skin, her nipples are…

far easier to see than I’d like for my self-control.

With a sigh, she says, “We can just pretend it never happened.”

I can tell that she’s giving me an out. All I have to do is agree, and put it behind me. Then we can maintain our distance and our broken bond.

It’s what I should want. What I’ve fought for all these years.

But the bond is still aching in my chest, while the taste of her fades on my lips. The words stick in my throat.

“It wasn’t just battle lust,” I hear myself say. “You know it wasn’t.”

Aurora goes very still. When she turns to face me, her amber and blue eyes are full of pain.

“Then what was it, Kieran? Because the last time I got my hopes up, you broke me. You’ve spent the past five years pretending like that never happened too, but that didn’t make it go away.

After you rejected me in front of the entire pack, I had to pick up the pieces of myself alone.

If it weren’t for Dana… I don’t know what I would’ve done. ”

“There were reasons why?—”

“Reasons?” Her laugh is sharp and brittle, scorn and anger flushing her cheeks. “I remember your reasons. I was too weak to be your mate—and I still am, aren’t I? Because I can’t shift. So I’m not enough. Not for the future alpha.”

Each word is like a knife in my chest, because they’re true. “It wasn’t just… I didn’t want to…”

“If you didn’t want to do it, then why did you?” She takes a step closer, the snarl on her lips just like a wolf’s, no matter what she lacks. “Tell me why you did it, Kieran. If it wasn’t just to be cruel, or just because I’m not good enough—tell me why you rejected me then and are kissing me now.”

The words are there, caught in my throat. But if I speak them, they’ll change nothing, and worse… she’ll never look at me the same again. I can’t stand to watch the pride and admiration fade from her eyes, replaced by disgust.

I can’t admit my own weakness, my fear. Especially knowing what my father would think. An alpha’s mate has to be strong—and an alpha? Even stronger.

So I clear my throat and tell her, “You were right. We should focus on the mission. The fae are the priority right now.”

I watch the hope die in her eyes, replaced by hurt and resignation. She takes a step back, then reaches down to grab the handle of her cold iron daggers, as if she finds comfort in them. “Exactly. The mission comes first. Your opinion of me will never change.”

“Aurora—”

“We should get moving. There are more important things to worry about than… whatever is between us. Once we get home, we’ll go our separate ways again, and the bond will fade.”

Her voice is steady, her eyes clear, but I can feel her pain through our bond, which has grown stronger each day that we spend together. With each moment I spend gazing at her beauty, each brush of our hands, and now our lips—it fights me, demanding to be felt.

Aurora only looks at me briefly as she says, “I won’t let myself get distracted again. Let’s get moving. We have more land to cover.”

She turns away, and I have no choice but to let her go. Picking a path, she walks through the ruins with her head held high, her eyes bright as she observes her surroundings. My wolf howls his despair, clawing desperately at my chest, his heartache twice as strong as mine.

But I don’t chase her this time. Instead I let the weight of my choices wash over me, and remind myself what I’ve done.

I’ve hurt her. Again.

Brought her close, given her hope, only to push her away again. Even though I love her, even though I want nothing more than to pull her close, I can’t. She is what I can never have, what I don’t deserve to claim.

An alpha must be strong. My father’s voice is ever-present. Strength above all else. And you, Kieran… you are weak.

This is the weakest I’ve ever felt in my life. Watching her walk away feels like having my heart torn out and stomped on. But it’s the only way, the only choice, no matter what I want or how badly my wolf hates me for it.

Eventually I follow her into the ruins. We have more land to cover, more investigation to be done. And I can’t risk her getting caught out alone with the fae aware of our presence here and more willing to attack outright than ever.

Still, I know, with crushing certainty, that this choice, that kiss, and the words that came after it, will haunt me for the rest of my life.