Page 7

Chapter 7

Moving Day

ZARA

Two years later, Shell Cove, California

“ T hank you, I got it.” I smile nervously, taking my suitcase from the taxi driver.

I drag my luggage up the driveway of Mom’s little two-bedroom house. It looks like nothing has changed in the two years I’ve been away. The small front lawn is still meticulously maintained and the yellow front door is as bright and inviting as I remember it.

My hand trembles and I miss the lock, almost dropping the key. Jeez, I need to take a deep breath and pull myself together.

“It’s just Mom. It’ll be fine.” I whisper to myself.

The truth is that I’m nervous about seeing my mom again.

Resentment expands in my chest and I lower my hand, needing a minute before I step back into my old life.

I know I’m being a little unfair. Boarding school wasn’t all that bad, and I’ve had time to think about the events that caused Mom to make that decision.

Rehashing that old story is pointless now and I’m actually a little excited and hopeful to reconnect with her.

“What the?—”

I’m greeted by a stack of boxes in the small hallway. They seem to be everywhere, to the point that I can just about open the door enough to let myself into the house.

“Zara?” Mom’s voice comes from the living room and I follow it, leaving my suitcase behind.

“Hey Mom,” I force a smile on my face, confused by a shit ton more boxes all over the living room.

Mom finishes putting tape over the top of a box—what else?—and puts the tape gun on top of it, wiping her hands on the legs of her denim overalls.

We look at each other for a tense moment. Last time we saw each other was two years ago, when we met for Christmas at my grandparents’ house in Massachusetts. It was a tense reunion. She was still angry at me.

“You lied to me, and for what? Sneaking out to Bridgeport with a ‘boy,’ to go to a motorcycle race? While I thought you were safe at your friend’s house a couple of blocks away?” She had yelled the second I came through the front door.

I was exhausted. After the crash at the racetrack, things had gotten out of control. The guys I had been staying with that weekend were reeling when one of them got killed in a crash on the racetrack. They totally forgot about me, and to be honest, I can’t blame them at all.

Chance and Ares were clinging to each other in complete shock. Heather had to be taken away in an ambulance when she realized what had happened. It was probably a small mercy that she had been in the restroom when Atlas was hit by a rogue bike that wasn’t a part of the race.

I didn’t even see Levin in the mayhem that followed the crash, but I can only imagine how devastated he was. It was clear in the short time I had known them that they were a tight-knit unit.

Atlas’s father was there, watching the race, too.

I had met him very briefly that morning. He used to be a famous pro hockey player and after the crash, he was literally assaulted by the press. He had to be escorted to the police station to protect him from the mayhem and to formally identify the body.

I was literally the last of their concerns in that horrible moment and I still feel bad for sneaking away.

I’ve tried to find them on social media for the past two years to apologize for bolting, but if they have any social media presence, I haven’t been able to find their accounts.

I found a profile for Heather, but it was set to private. I thought about sending her a friend request, but I chickened out. She was nice to me that weekend, but I didn’t know what to say to her. Nothing I could say could lessen her loss, and I took the easy way out.

My problem at the time was that without them giving me a ride home, like they had offered, I needed to get back to Shell Cove before Mom could find out that I had lied to her.

Cal was being questioned by the police, and he wasn’t an option, anyway. I didn’t know back then, but the bike that caused the crash belonged to Cal’s team. It was apparently stolen from their garage at some point before the race.

That racetrack had very lax safety and their security wasn’t any better. There were no cameras anywhere other than the actual track, so whoever caused that crash was never found.

I had boarded a bus back to Shell Cove, but when I got home, I was confronted by Mom. She was furious.

She had seen the streaming of the Blue Lightning race. How she found it didn’t even matter—one of her friends’ husbands saw it reposted on a streaming channel he follows and her friend recognized me.

Mom said I was out of control. She had had enough of my disobedience and I was grounded indefinitely. That was no surprise. I expected that much.

A week later, though, she shipped me to a boarding school in Connecticut. I had immediately called Dad to plead with him to help, to let me move in with him, anything but an all girls boarding school.

My parents had been hating each other and fighting since their divorce, but go figure, that was the one time they were in total agreement.

I held one hell of a grudge and didn’t talk to either of them for months.

After that disastrous reunion with Mom the first Christmas after I was shipped off, I spent every school vacation with my roommate’s family. That was my only option if I wanted to avoid another one of Mom’s lectures. I would have loved to spend some time with Dad, wherever his work might have taken him, but every time we managed to arrange something, he flaked at the last minute.

Mom and I look at each other for a tense moment.

She hasn’t changed much. If anything, she’s cut her hair short, and she looks younger than ever.

“Zara.” She opens her arms.

I don’t even think. I fly into her embrace as everything around me is blurred by the tears I didn’t even realize were welling in my eyes.

“Mom,” I sob, inhaling her familiar scent.

We stay like that, hugging each other and weeping for what feels like forever.

“Did you have a good flight back?” she asks, holding me by my shoulders to take a good look at me. “You look so grown up.”

“Yeah, the flight was fine. Do I have to thank you or Dad for the first-class ticket? Coach would have been just fine, though.”

She shrugs. “It’s a new beginning. I wanted you to come back in style. Your father wasn’t the one who paid for the upgrade, though.”

Some things never change. Her tone turns to ice at the mention of my father.

The moment is fleeting though and the smile she welcomed me with is back on her face.

“All the stuff you shipped back from school arrived safely a couple of days ago.”

I nod, looking around the room. “Cool. But this isn’t my stuff, right?” I ask, pointing to all the surrounding boxes. “What happened here? Did you become a hoarder? There are so many boxes in the hallway that I could barely fit into the door.”

Mom grabs my hand, guiding me toward the couch.

It’s wrapped in plastic and it makes a weird, rustling noise when we sit down.

“No, baby girl. I’m not a hoarder. If anything, I’m decluttering. I kept some of the important stuff over there.” She points to a small pile of boxes in the opposite corner. “We’ll put all those old photos in storage. The rest is being donated to our church. Moving is the perfect time to declutter.”

Declutter.

It seems to be her new favorite word. But that isn’t what attracts my attention.

“Moving? Did you say moving?”

She nods. “We’re moving to Star Cove. The house is sold. Everything is packed, and the movers are coming tomorrow morning.”

I shake my head, confused. “We are moving to Star Cove? You do know you can’t move in with me in the dorms, right? And my classes don’t start until next week. Where are we going to stay in the meantime? Did you find a place to rent in town? I mean, that’s great, but you didn’t have to move because I’m going to college in the next town over. I’ll be only thirty minutes away. I could come home most weekends if I wanted to.”

Not that I want to come home every weekend. I hope to have a social life once school starts. “I missed you, Mom. I’m sorry I haven’t been very communicative, and I didn’t come home after the last time we saw each other. I was mad at you for shipping me off to school, but I’ve had plenty of time to think about everything that went down. I know what I did was wrong, and?—”

She squeezes my hand. “Let’s not dwell on the past. It’s been two years and I’m glad we both had time to cool off. You’re eighteen now, and I’m sure we can move forward by being open and honest with each other from now on.”

I would like that.

Hopefully me being eighteen means that she’ll relax a little. She’s always been so strict since she and Dad split up. Of course, not living at home will help each of us have some space and, in time, get a better relationship than we’ve had up to this point.

I don’t say any of that, though. “Ok. Starting over is good. So, are you buying or renting in Star Cove?”

Her hazel eyes drift away from me and she clears her throat. She looks nervous, her gaze pinned on the box she was taping closed when I entered the room.

“Zara, we need to talk.”

Shit. I stifle a groan, because I want to show her that I did some growing up in the past two years. But nothing good ever came from the words “we need to talk.”

“Ok,” I try to keep my tone as neutral as possible. “I’m listening.”

“Sweetie, there’s a reason I’m moving to Star Cove. In addition to you going to college there. About eighteen months ago, I got a new job. I was hired to curate the PR team of the new mayor’s political campaign. When he got elected, he hired me permanently as head of his team.”

I take her hand in mine. “Mom, that’s awesome. Congratulations. I know working as a secretary for the local high school wasn’t your dream job. So you decided to move to Star Cove to make your commute easier? I know thirty minutes isn’t a lot, but if you work long hours, I understand. And I’ll be nearby living on campus, so that works out. I’m really proud of you for not settling for a job that didn’t fulfill you and got something you love.”

She nods, her smile still a little hesitant. “I’m glad you approve, sweetheart. But avoiding the commute, and you going to school in Star Cove, aren’t the only reasons why I’m moving.”

I tilt my head to the side, in the attempt to keep our gazes locked when she looks away again. “No? I mean, I’m sure the mayor must be paying you decently, but Star Cove is full of rich people. Houses there are more expensive than in Shell Cove. So it can’t be to save on rent. Did you downsize? If you got a small apartment and you’re worried about me being disappointed, don’t worry. I won’t be there that much. I haven’t heard anything about my dorm application yet, but I was planning to go to the campus housing office next week and?—”

“Zara.” She finally looks me in the eye. “You haven’t heard from the campus housing office because I withdrew your application.”

She did what?

“You did? Why? Mom, classes start soon and if I don’t get a room in the dorms now, I might have nowhere to live. Star Cove isn’t a huge town.”

She sighs, but her tone is gentle. “I withdrew your application because you won’t be needing accommodation on campus. Our new place is only a ten-minute drive from campus and we haven’t spent any time together for forever. I want you to move in with me.”

I don’t know how to feel about this. I’m disappointed, because I was looking forward to the full college experience and living with my mom isn’t exactly what I had in mind. Especially since we’ve always butted heads in the past.

“How was it even possible for you to withdraw my application without my knowledge? I’m eighteen now and they should have needed my signature to do that.” I say, struggling to hide my irritation.

Mom keeps her composure. “Because I was the one paying for your tuition and your housing expenses.”

“You and Dad.” I correct her.

She rolls her eyes, the line of her lips tightening with obvious chagrin. “Yes, me and your dad.”

Unbelievable. My parents have been divorced for a decade now, and I can’t even mention my dad without her getting upset.

I try to appease her practical side. “Mom, it’s not that I don’t want to live with you,” that isn’t a complete lie, but I don’t want to argue with her if I admit that I was excited about living on campus. “If you’re downsizing though?—”

“I’m not downsizing. You’re going to have your own room and even your own bathroom.”

That makes me feel partially relieved. “I am? Wow, this mayor must be paying you really well.”

She takes my hand again. “Zara, can you let me finish what I’ve been trying to tell you since the second you walked in the door?”

I sigh. “Yes, sorry. Go ahead.”

Mom smiles. “It’s ok. You babble when you’re nervous. You get that from me. Scott and I worked very closely on his campaign. There were a lot of weekends and evening events, and I started spending more time in Star Cove than here. We spent so much time together that our professional relationship evolved into a friendship. And then somewhere along the way, it became something more.”

No fucking way.

My mom is banging her boss. My surprise must be written all over my face. “You’re dating your boss?”

She becomes immediately defensive. “There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re two consenting adults, and?—”

“Mom, I know that. Look, that came out wrong. I know what Dad put you through while you were married. I’m glad you’re dating again. I don’t think you’ve been seeing anyone over the years since the divorce.”

“Because I haven’t.” She confirms.

“Ok, then. As long as this mayor boyfriend of yours isn’t married or old enough to be my grandfather, I’m happy for you.”

Mom barks out a shocked laugh. “He’s not married! Zara, you just mentioned what your father put me through. I’ve always tried not to involve you in the specifics of why our marriage ended. But mostly it was the lies, the cheating. Your father was unfaithful to me pretty much constantly. It really hurt me, it destroyed my self-esteem. I could never do that to another woman.”

I respect that. “Good.” It’s my turn to take her hand and squeeze it. “As long as he isn’t married, and he isn’t eighty-five, I’m happy for you.”

She rolls her eyes. “He isn’t eighty-five. He’s five years older than me. He lost his wife to an illness when his kids were young. I’ve never met anyone like him, Zara. After your dad, I didn’t think I would fall in love again. At least not that kind of passionate love, where you can’t keep your hands off each other and?—”

“Mom!” I let go of her hand to cover my eyes. “Eww. Stop. I’m happy for you but T.M.I. I’m going to have to wash my eyes with soap to get rid of the picture you just put in my head.”

She giggles.

Whatever this new boyfriend is doing, I think I already like him. I haven’t seen Mom so happy since forever. Since Dad.

“Ok.” I nod when we get our laughter under control. “So you’re moving to Star Cove to live closer to him. And you’re renting a house where I can have my own room and my own bathroom? I guess I could live with that if it’s ten minutes away from campus.”

Mom’s expression turns serious. “No, I’m not renting anywhere. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you. Scott has a huge house in the nicest neighborhood in town. We’ll be moving in with him.”

Oh.

That changes things. “You guys must be really serious if he’s asked you to move in. Look Mom, I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way. But do you really want me around permanently? Moving in with a new man is a lot of change. I don’t mind visiting some weekends, but wouldn’t it be easier for everyone if I lived on campus until the two of you are settled and I’ve had a chance to get to know your boyfriend?”

I think I’m being reasonable, but my mother hasn’t spilled all the beans.

“We’ve already canceled your application for a campus accommodation, Zara. Scot has two kids. One is your age. He’s starting at Star Cove College too this fall. He’s going to live at home. We would really like to be a family.”

The idea of a dorm on campus sounds better with every single word she adds. “I don’t know, Mom. Now there’s a son too? Don’t you think this is moving way too fast?”

She doesn’t. The situation is actually much worse than I could have ever imagined.

“This might seem fast to you, and I take responsibility for it. I should have talked to you sooner. But you had your finals, and I didn’t want to distract you. Scott and I have been together for over a year.” She takes something from the pocket of her denim overalls. “He proposed a couple of months ago.”

She shows me her left hand.

A diamond the size of a hazelnut is catching the midday light. It takes me a second to find the words to express my shock.

“You—you’re getting married?” my voice comes out a little shrill, but I’ve never been so shocked in my entire life.

“We are. The wedding is next Saturday.”

I shake my head, sure that I must have misheard what Mom just said. Maybe jet-lag is messing with my hearing. I know the East Coast and California have just a three-hour difference, but still. There’s no way I heard this right.

“You’re getting married next Saturday? Like, in seven days from today?” I put emphasis on every word, to make sure there’s no way Mom could misunderstand my question.

“Yes,” she says with a bright smile that warms my heart and pisses me off at the same time. “And I was hoping you’d agree to be my maid of honor.”

Jesus.

I look at her with my mouth gaping open, like a fish out of water.

“Zara,” she squirms. “Please say something, for the love of God.”

If I say no to the maid of honor thing, I’m going to sound like an asshole. And I want to be happy for my mom. I just wish she hadn’t canceled my dorm room and made a ton of decisions for me without discussing one single thing with me first.

I take a deep, calming breath. “I will be your maid of honor, Mom.”

She lunges forward to hug me, but I scoot backward, needing some distance. “I want to support you and I want you to be happy.” I also want to express my feelings about all this. “But you’ll have to cut me some slack and give me a second to get used to all this stuff. I’m not mad, or at least I’m trying not to be. I just wish you had given me some kind of heads up about all these huge changes.”

I think I’m being reasonable, right? Two years ago I would have stormed off and found myself the baddest boy in a hundred-mile radius. I would have hopped on the back of his bike and rode into the sunset, just to piss her off. Hell, I still have the tattoo to prove how much of a rebel I was. Thank fuck Mom hasn’t seen it, or rather than to a boarding school in Connecticut, she would have shipped me to a gulag in Siberia.

“I know.” Mom sighs. “And I’m sorry. I was planning to come to your graduation with Scott and we were going to tell you then. But then your father decided to attend and?—”

She still can’t be in the same room as my father after ten years.

“I’m sorry too,” I exhale. “I should have come home after graduation, when Dad canceled our trip to Europe because he had to work.”

Mom’s lips tighten into a flat line, showing her displeasure. “He always has an excuse.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, frustrated with both my parents. “I know, Mom. Let’s not get into Dad’s shortcomings, please.”

I know I sound defensive, but I want to believe that Dad’s work commitments are the cause of these constant change of plans every time we’re supposed to spend more than a couple of hours together.

At least he made it to my graduation. I would have been really hurt if he had canceled that, too.

“What I’m trying to say is that our lack of communication isn’t just your fault, Mom. I was very disappointed when Dad canceled on me and I should have come home. Instead, I was nervous about seeing you after the last time we were together didn’t go so well. I shouldn’t have gone to Florida for the summer with Sydney.”

Mom’s expression softens. “It’s ok, sweetie. Look, this is what I’ve been trying to say. I know things have been rocky between us. I don’t want to place all the blame on your father, but he always left me to be the bad cop while he swooped in to be the fun parent. I know you hated me for sending you to boarding school, but I was struggling. When I saw that video, I?—”

I was hoping to avoid this conversation. “I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t mad at you, Mom. But I know I fucked up, too. I lied to you a lot, and I kept breaking every single rule you had.”

That doesn’t mean I didn’t love her. I was hurting and I still am. I can’t blame my parents for divorcing. I get why their relationship didn’t last. That, however, broke something inside me. I had a happy childhood until they separated and all of a sudden, I had to fight to be seen. My parents were still there. Mom was always by my side, Dad was just a phone call away. And yet, it was as if apart from each other, their lives had grown busier, more complicated.

Mom was probably too present. But her focus was more on stopping me from making the same mistakes as her, than on me.

Dad had been my best friend, my partner in crime. After the divorce, he was traveling the world from one racetrack to another, without coming home in the breaks. When he retired from racing, things didn’t bring him closer. He’s been on a constant quest to start his own racing team. He’s had a few opportunities, but nothing really stuck, or compared to his racing days.

That left me feeling like an afterthought, a burden to both of them. I wanted to be seen, to still feel like I had a family and I tried to get their attention the only way I knew how.

Mom’s impossibly strict rules didn’t help, they were the ideal catalyst for all my anger and frustration.

There’s a beat of silence in the small living room.

Mom breaks it first. “The last two years have been rough. I didn’t know what to do. You’re so similar to your father that sometimes that scares me. Remember how when you were little we called you John Junior because you said you wanted to be like your daddy when you grew up?”

I remember that. “I know,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Mom shakes her head. “Don’t be. I focused on moving on, but I should have been more understanding of how much you missed your father. I divorced him, not you. In my defense, I was just trying to protect you.”

I nod, a lump forming in my throat. “It must have been hard, Mom.”

“We both made mistakes,” she says softly. “But I’m the parent between us. I knew you were angry, and I take responsibility for allowing you to grow distant from me. You’re about to start college and I’m getting married to the man of my dreams. The fact that they’re both in Star Cove seems like a sign. Our chance for a fresh start. I know I’m asking you a lot, but give it this year. Move in with me in Scott’s house. Let’s be a family. If you aren’t happy, I promise that next year I’ll help you get your own place on or off campus.”

Two years ago, I would have stormed out of the room. I’d have called Dad crying. But I feel like I owe this to Mom and to myself, because I really missed her.

I’m nervous about moving in with complete strangers, but I’m going to try for Mom. Besides, she canceled my dorm application, so I have nowhere to go.

“Ok,” I exhale a shuddering breath. “I’m going to try.”

Mom squeals, pulling me into a tight hug. “Thank you, Zara. I promise you won’t regret it. Where are you going?” She asks as I stand and walk to the living room door.

“I was planning to go see Wren and David next door.”

She stands up, running her palms over the denim of her short overalls. “You can always come back another day, sweetheart. Star Cove isn’t far. The house is all packed. Like I told you earlier, most of this stuff is being donated or going into storage. The extra boxes of stuff you shipped from school are already waiting for you in our new home. Scott is expecting us for dinner.”

“We’re moving right now?” It’s impossible to hide my shock.

Mom wraps her arm around my shoulders, walking me to the door. “No time like the present, baby girl.”