Page 15

Chapter 15

Letting You Go

ZARA

D o I stay in my pretty dress, or do I change?

I debate that with myself for a few minutes as I wait for Chance. Scott is still downstairs, so I have a little time to decide.

I mean, the dress will come off anyway, so I might as well change. I have just what I need to feel sexy tonight.

Sydney, my best friend at boarding school, gave me this sexy nighty for my birthday last year. It’s white and almost see through with pretty lace all over the bra part and it opens completely in the front. It’s innocent and sexy at the same time, and I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet.

It fits me perfectly, lifting my boobs in a provocative way, and it makes me feel seductive and playful.

I free my hair from the elaborate style Mom’s hairdresser created for the wedding and let it flow down my back in soft, natural waves.

The girl reflected in the mirror looks ready to rock her stepbrother’s world tonight. I stare at my reflection, psyching myself up to go through with this.

I’d be lying if I said that I’m not nervous, but I know Chance will take care of me. He, Ares, and Lev have been doing just that from the first time we met.

Maybe, though, I should tell him that this is my first time.

A shuddering breath escapes me at the thought that two years ago, I was gonna do it with Cal. I had followed him to Bridgeport with the intention of sleeping with him. Then I got cold feet. I had been convincing myself that I cared about Cal, but deep down, I knew that Mom was right about his “type.”

His dangerous, bad boy persona was what I had found attractive about him at first, but the more I hung out with him, the more I knew that he didn’t care about me. I was nothing but another notch on his belt, and he wasn’t willing to slow down and wait for me to feel ready. He put so much pressure on me to go all the way that it became a condition for our relationship to continue.

I almost went through with it for the sake of proving Mom wrong. I’m glad I didn’t though. Not because I have a romantic notion about this whole first time deal. But I want to do it because I feel a connection; not because if I don’t put out, I’m gonna get dumped.

Chance will be patient with me. If I changed my mind, he would respect my feelings and not demand something I’m not willing to give.

A soft knock on my door pulls me out of my own thoughts, and I fly to open the door to my stepbrother.

Every time I see him, I almost can’t believe how gorgeous he is. Tall and muscular, with his blond hair and intense blue eyes, he looks like a young 007 in his dark gray tuxedo.

“Hey, come in.” I move to the side to let him into my room, but he hesitates.

“I’m sorry it took me so long. Dad took forever to leave.” He grumbles.

His eyes are firmly fixed to the floor, and it’s impossible to miss the tension in his broad shoulders.

Maybe I’m not the only one who’s a little nervous.

“Is everything ok?” I ask, taking his huge hand to pull him away from the door.

“Define ok.” He sighs, as his gaze slowly drifts up the length of my body. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I keep my tone light. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Our fingers are still laced together, but Chance runs his other hand through his hair.

“It’s late, Zara. We’re all tired. I should go.”

Disappointment replaces the excitement of just a few moments ago, and I let go of his hand. I suddenly feel ridiculous in my revealing nighty. “Did you change your mind?” the words tumble out of my mouth before I can bite my tongue.

I’m not sure I really want to know.

His answer doesn’t shed any clarity on what’s changed since we drove home from the wedding.

“Yes. No. I—It’s complicated.”

Complicated.

I hate that word, and I can’t hide my irritation.

“Complicated? That’s bullshit.” I bite out. “If you changed your mind, just say it. I’d rather you be honest with me, Chance.” Saying that to him costs me a lot. I’m terrified of being rejected by him, but I’m not going to let him jerk me around.

“I didn’t change my mind, but?—”

“Then kiss me.” I challenge him.

“Fuck.” Chance shakes his head, as if he was fighting some kind of internal battle.

It’s over in the blink of an eye.

His lips are on mine, urgent and demanding. He presses me against my bedroom door with his much larger frame, his hands roaming my body.

It’s a frenzied kiss, hot and hungry. Chance devours me. He kisses me as if he needed me, like he needs air. His hands are roaming down my body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

When he breaks the kiss, I’m a panting mess. My whole body is throbbing, need courses through me, hot and urgent.

“Chance,” I beg. “Don’t stop.”

His forehead is resting against mine, his ripped chest heaving as he struggles to calm his breathing.

“I don’t want to stop, baby.” His hand covers my throat, as the pad of his thumb caresses my pulse point. “But I have to.”

It doesn’t make sense.

I know he wants me. I can feel how hard he is in his pants.

“Please, Chance. I don’t understand.”

He laughs, but it’s a jaded, bitter sound. “I don’t understand either. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you, Zara. But Dad just told me that whatever is going on between us has to end.”

Now I’m even more confused than I was a second ago. “Why?”

His low, gravelly voice sounds pained. “Some bullshit about us being siblings now. He expects me to treat you like a sister.”

“A sister?” I gasp, horrified. “That’s ridiculous. We aren’t little kids anymore. He can’t expect us to act like siblings.”

Chance’s thumb reaches my jaw, his fingers cupping the back of my head, exposing my neck to his lips.

The contact with his warm, open mouth causes a wave of liquid heat to rush between my thighs.

“This is what I want to do to you, baby.” He pants, his blue eyes like two deep, dark oceans. “I want to kiss you, touch you. I want to be inside you.”

I want all those things too. “Maybe we can talk to him together?” I say. “I want all those things too. He can’t dictate how we feel about each other.”

There’s a moment of hesitation as he considers my words. “You don’t know my dad, Zara. He’s a great guy, he’s been a good father. He gave me and my brothers everything, especially after we lost our mom so young. But there’s another side to him. When he makes up his mind about something, he rarely changes his mind. It’s like the motorcycle ban. He decided motorbikes are the devil, and there’s nothing that will make him see things under a different light.”

It shouldn’t surprise me that he fell in love with my mom. They have that trait in common.

“He can impose laws on the town, but he can’t dictate how we feel about each other.” I argue.

There’s a beat of silence between us. “I told him that, but he didn’t want to hear it. He told me and Ares to keep our hands off of you.”

I’m so confused. It’s hard to think with Chance’s hot body pressed against mine, with his sexy, masculine scent surrounding me. “So this is it? You’re going to be my brother from now on?”

“I don’t know,” Chance sighs, clearly frustrated. “I don’t know if I can treat you like a sister. But what’s the alternative?”

There’s only one answer.

“You could fight for me.” I hate how bitter my voice sounds. But this is the story of my life. People leave me. They don’t fight for me when the going gets tough. But how can I expect anything different, when my own father didn’t fight to have a closer relationship with me? Sure, we talk sometimes and he does show up to my milestone moments. But it’s just when it’s convenient for him; and there’s a part of me that suspects that when he shows up to stuff like my graduation, he doesn’t do it for me, but to piss Mom off.

“I want to fight for you, Zara. But Dad wasn’t completely wrong about the reasons why being together is a bad idea. Ares and Lev want you too. Are you asking me to fight for you because you choose me over them?”

That question stops my heart cold.

“I—”

Chance is waiting. I can see the tension in the blue depths of his eyes.

“That’s what I thought.” He closes his eyes, his fingers still tangled in my hair. “You like Lev, and I think you like Ares too. Right?”

I can’t lie to him. “Right.” It comes out like a barely audible whisper.

“Dad asked me what would I do if you chose Ares over me? What if you chose Lev? This is one of the problems. I can’t hurt my father for a maybe, Zara. I hope you understand.”

Hot tears well in my eyes, and I swallow to keep them from falling. “So this is it? Are we over before we even began?”

Chance sounds as tortured as I feel. “I don’t want us to be. Maybe we’ve been going too fast. Dad is right that I don’t have any experience with relationships. And you don’t know if you want me over Lev and Ares. We could get to know each other better, slow down, see if there really is something to fight for.”

CHANCE

Zara looks devastated.

What does it say about me, that I’m kinda glad she is?

If she cares about me, maybe not everything is lost. We could give our parents some time to settle into married life, and then see if they’re still adamant about wanting us to be one big, happy family.

“Ok.” Her tone is laced with sadness. “But how do we know if we really want more with each other without being together?”

I haven’t had time to give that much thought, but there’s only one possible solution. “We can still spend time together, but we need to cool down. No more making out, no more sneaking into your room, unless we know we’re the real deal. I actually think we should be a little distant in front of our parents. Once they’re off our backs, we can reevaluate.”

I hate this plan the second it takes shape in my mind. My cock hates this plan even more. But what’s the alternative? I could move out and refuse to fall in line with Dad’s wishes. But it isn’t just about disappointing him for nothing if Zara chooses Lev or Ares; or if things between me and Zara don’t work out, anyway. It isn’t just my relationship with Dad that’s at stake here. Zara and her mom have been pretty much estranged for the past two years. Maybe slowing down will give them an opportunity to repair their relationship.

Whenever we made fun of Atlas for tying himself down to Heather so young, he used to say that you can’t fight something that’s meant to be. If Zara and I are meant to be, will we end up together no matter what?

It’s easier said than done, though.

She’s so beautiful, and I want her so much, that it causes me physical pain to walk away from her.

“I think I should go,” I murmur, caressing her delicate jaw.

She looks as heartbroken as I feel. “Before you go, what did Ares say?”

I snicker. “Nothing. But I know he was as surprised as I was by Dad’s demands.”

“So will he ignore me?” she asks.

“You have to figure it out with him. I was always closer to Lev than to my own brothers. Things have only gotten worse in the last two years.” I admit.

“And does Lev know about this?”

I sigh. “No. Look, I don’t expect you to put things on hold with him, too. I’ll talk to him. And if you choose him, I’m not going to stop you. I know I have no right to ask you this, but please, don’t choose him just because of this shitty situation.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

She pushes me away, clearly upset. “You have no right to ask me that. Not after what you just asked me to do.”

She’s right. “I know. Good night, Zara.”

She’s still standing against the door, so I have to get closer to open it.

I should just walk out and go for a run, or a swim, or something to work off all my pent up frustration. But the way she’s looking at me is… fuck.

I grab her by her slender waist and take her mouth in a furious kiss. I press my lips on hers to force her to allow me in, and then I take everything I can.

If this could be our last kiss, I want to make it count. I want to get under her skin the same way she got under mine.

My tongue tangles with hers, I suck on it and then lash at it over and over, the same way I would thrust if I was inside her.

Before breaking the kiss, I nip at her bottom lip. “Good night, Zara.”

I close the door between us.

Walk away, Chance .

It’s easier said than done. My heart is beating so fast that it’s all I can hear.

My cock is so hard that it’s throbbing, aching for release. I should walk to my room, right across the hallway, and take care of it. But I don’t.

Instead, I lower the zipper of my tuxedo pants and close my fingers around the base of my throbbing length.

I squeeze hard, stroking it all the way up to the tip and then back down to the base.

A strangled noise escapes my mouth.

“Chance?” Zara calls from the other side of the door. “Are you still there?”

Fuck. I should go, but my feet refuse to move. “Yeah.” I grind out.

She sounds as out of breath as I do. “What are you doing?”

I bark out an embarrassed laugh. “Don’t ask questions unless you’re ready for the answer, baby.”

I don’t know what I expected her to say. All I know is that it definitely wasn’t what comes out of her mouth next.

“I hope you’re as turned on as I am. I’m touching myself the same way you were touching me last week in the shower. I’m imagining your fingers playing with my clit instead of mine, though. Tell me you’re jerking off, and you’re thinking about how it felt when I made you come.”

My balls tighten at her words, and a bead of clear fluid appears at the opening of my cock.

“What if I am?” I grind out, spreading that liquid with the pad of my thumb.

“Then we can make each other come.” She says, her breathy voice telling me that she’s really playing with her clit.

It takes every ounce of my fucking self-control not to open that door and go back inside her room.

I was going to jerk off in the shower, thinking about her. What’s the difference if I do it outside her door with her listening to every sound I make?

Technically, I’m staying away from her, right?

I look to my left and to my right. The hallway is deserted. Ares must have gone to bed and Dad left even before I made my way upstairs.

“I’m fucking my fist right now, baby. Imagining it is your hand. I’m already close. It won’t take you long to make me come all over my stomach. How are you touching that pretty little clit? Tell me.”

Her voice is as soft as the bare skin of her pussy. “Slow circles. Every time, I apply a little more pressure. It feels so good, Chance.”

My cock throbs at the thought. “I need you to speed up a little, baby. I’m throbbing so hard, your hand feels too good and I’m about to come. I want you to pinch that little clit.”

A desperate moan tells me that she just did what I asked.

“You’re such a good girl, Zara. Now alternate rubbing and pinching your clit, remember? Just like I did in the shower.”

“Yes,” she gasps. “I’m close too.”

My shaft tingles with the telltale sign that I’m right on the edge. “I’m rubbing that spot under my cock head, just like you did. And then close my fist over my tip.”

“Chance,” she cries out. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”

Her pleasure gives me the final push and the first warm, thick rope of cum lands on my shirt where it’s bunched up right under my chest. I’m making a mess, but right now I couldn’t care less. I keep stroking my cock, milking every ounce of pleasure while I listen to Zara coming on the other side of her door.

“Fuck.” I chuckle once I can catch my breath. “That was…”

“It was almost as good as last time,” Zara finishes for me. “But I really wish it was your hand rather than my own.”

The feeling is totally mutual, but I don’t say anything. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay away from Zara. I need to find a way to get my dad to understand that he can’t force our relationship into the mould he chose for us.

And I need to do that before Lev, or my brother, swoop in and win Zara’s heart.

I have no idea how I’ll make him change his mind. But I get my stubbornness from him, so if Zara really is the one, not even he’ll be able to keep us apart.

In the meantime, I have to figure out if this attraction is just an infatuation for a pretty girl like I’ve had before, or if Zara is the only one who can make my broken heart feel whole again.

“Sweet dreams, baby.” I say, pulling my pants back up.

“Good night, Chance.”