Page 28 of Falling Too Soon (Seasons of Love #1)

DAPHNE

M y fight-or-flight had fully kicked in by the time I opened my eyes in the morning.

I knew I had to get out of the cabin. I just couldn’t think clearly in Nathan’s presence.

I could smell the scent of coffee coming from the kitchen, so I knew he was already awake.

I peeked out from behind my door, hoping he wasn’t out there, and thankfully, he wasn’t.

I tiptoed to his room, and he wasn’t there either.

That meant he was probably on a run and I had some time to get out of there.

I ran to my room and packed my bags. Was it childish that I was running away without a word?

Yes. But I wasn’t thinking clearly and I don’t think I had since my arrival.

After gathering my things, I pulled a piece of paper out of the nightstand drawer and wrote Nathan a note.

It didn’t feel like enough of an explanation, but it was all I could do at that moment.

I wrote and rewrote it several times. Nothing I put on the paper felt right .

Nathan-

These last few days were a lot of fun. Thanks for letting me crash your vacation, but I have to get back to reality.

Thanks for letting me crash your vacay. Had a lot of fun!

Nathan-

Meeting you has been the highlight of my year.

I never imagined I would have had so much fun on my breakup vacation, but you made me almost forget why I was here.

So thank you for that. You are an incredible person, and under different circumstances, I think I could have fallen for you.

Hard. But I’m nowhere near emotionally ready for more, and you made it pretty clear that you weren’t either.

I truly wish you the best, and I know that when you’re ready, you’ll make some girl the luckiest girl in the world.

xo, Daphne

Why the fuck was I crying? God, I was such a fucking mess. I ran away from my relationship with Marcus right into the arms of another man and almost fell for him too. What a disaster. I needed to avoid all men like the plague for a while.

I popped my head out into the living room once more to make sure Nathan wasn’t around. I could barely hear the sound of his shower running, so I figured the coast was clear. I quickly gathered my things, placed the note on the kitchen island, and went out the front door with tears still in my eyes.

“Hey, it’s me,” I sobbed when Lexi picked up my phone call. “I just left the cabin and I’m on my way back.”

“What happened? I’ll fucking kill him,” Lexi spit.

“Nothing. I swear he didn’t do anything,” I hiccuped.

“After we got off the phone last night, I took a bath, and while I was soaking, I realized that I needed to get out of here. Being around him was fucking with my head. Or maybe Marcus had already fucked my head up beyond repair, and I’m second-guessing everything.

Either way, I need some time alone. You know, like how this week was supposed to go. ”

“Babe, take a breath. I’m gonna need you to calm down if you’re gonna drive home right now.

Otherwise, pull over until you can lock that shit down.

I need you to get home in one piece.” Lexi sounded worried, so I did my best to collect myself.

“Deep breaths. Everything is fine. But why are you so upset?”

“I don’t know. I think I really like him, which I know is fucking crazy.

Like, what if I am totally fucking up a good thing by running away?

Or what if I stay and it’s not a good thing, and I get stuck in yet another shitty relationship?

See? I’m all over the place. I can’t stop my brain from running wild.

I just had to go.” I was sobbing now and decided Lexi was right. I had to pull over.

“Bitch, you’d better pull over and take a minute.”

“I am.” I pulled off the side of the road into a lookout area that overlooked the lake. From here, I could probably still see the cabin if I let myself look in that direction. “Lexi, what the fuck is wrong with me?”

“I think Marcus seriously did a number on you and you are second-guessing yourself and overthinking this whole situation.” Lexi continued to talk, but I had stopped listening. I was too distracted by the text messages chiming in from Nathan.

Nathan

Daphne, please come back and talk to me.

Nathan

We need to talk about this.

Nathan

I didn’t mean what I said. I’m an idiot.

My sobbing increased and then Lexi’s voice cut through, “Daphne, talk to me. What’s happening?”

“Nathan is texting me. Oh shit, now he’s calling. Fuck, Lex, am I doing the right thing?” I cried as I sent Nathan to voicemail.

“You’re okay. We can talk about it when you get here. Just try to calm down so you get here in one piece.”

“Okay. I’m okay. I’m gonna sit here for a few minutes and then I’ll be on my way.” My breathing was returning to normal, and my sobbing had subsided.

“Love you, bitch. Drive safe,” Lexi said before we said our goodbyes.

After I hung up the phone, I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and took some more deep breaths. My mind was racing, but I was resolute in my decision to get back to Lexi’s. I needed time and space to figure out what I wanted, and unfortunately, that meant I couldn’t talk to Nathan right now.

As I sat there with my forehead on the steering wheel, I heard the sound of another car on the gravel in the lookout spot. I lifted my head and squinted through my puffy, tear-soaked eyes to see Nathan’s car pulling up behind me in the rear-view mirror. Shit .

Before I could think about putting the car into drive, Nathan was ripping my door open like a man possessed. “What the fuck, Daphne?” he boomed, looming above me with his chest heaving, arms braced across the opening of my door, caging me in.

“Hey,” I said weakly. The note I left him had said what I wanted him to know, but I couldn’t meet his eyes. I was not proud of how I left things, but I knew I had to leave without facing him, or I might not have had the strength to walk away from whatever this was or could be.

Nathan squatted down next to me and turned my face gently toward his. “Baby, look at me.”

Tears filled my eyes again as they met Nathan’s.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around me.

I sat there in his arms and cried while he whispered sweet, comforting things like “It’s okay” and “I’ve got you.

” Once I calmed down again, I pushed away from his chest to see the concerned look in his eyes.

Great, now he thought I was fucking crazy. “I—” I started, but he interrupted me.

“Baby, listen to me. I fucked up. I let you think that this meant nothing to me. I said friends with benefits, but that’s not what I wanted.

Not really.” He was rushing his words, trying to get it all out before I could interject.

He put his hands on my face, forcing me to look at him.

“I know this is crazy, but I have feelings for you that I didn’t expect, and I, I…

fuck, I panicked. I thought it was too soon for both of us, but I couldn’t let you just leave the other day, so I said the only thing I could think of to get you to stay.

” His eyes darted back and forth between mine, looking desperate.

If I were in a place to accept it, his heartfelt confession would have been the most romantic moment of my life.

But, instead, it fell on deaf ears. I was in a panic to get out of there, not ready for this with anyone, no matter how much I wished I was.

I covered his hands with my own and slowly lowered them from my face.

I held his hands in mine, studying them for a moment, and then my gaze traveled up to meet his again.

He looked so hopeful, yet hopeless at the same time.

It probably would’ve broken my heart if my heart had been whole.

But the truth was, my heart was already broken, and I needed to put it back together before I could open it up to him or anyone else .

“Nathan,” I started as a tear slipped out and down my cheek.

“Don’t, Daphne. Please don’t push me away. I know the timing is trash, but you can’t tell me you don’t feel this too. There’s something here, and I think it’s worth exploring.”

“I can’t. I’m not ready. My heart isn’t ready for you. Please let me go,” I sobbed. “I’m not saying never. I’m saying not right now.”

Nathan’s jaw clenched, and I could tell he was fighting the urge to argue with me. That alone was enough for me to reconsider, but I knew I had to hold firm. “Kitten, I will wait for you, but please don’t shut me out completely. I couldn’t bear it.”

“I need time, Nathan. I still haven’t fully recovered from my breakup. He really did a number on me, and then I met you, and my brain sort of short-circuited. You make it almost impossible to think straight. Has anyone ever told you that?” I chuckled.

“I can’t say I’ve heard that before, but I’m taking it as a compliment. And like I said, I’ll wait and I’ll give you time, but apparently, I’m not a very patient man when it comes to you.”

I gave him a small smile as I looked up at him through my damp lashes.

Before I could blink, his lips crashed into mine.

His kiss was ravenous and desperate and full of so many words left unsaid between us.

I hoped our story wasn’t over, but I kissed him as if it were goodbye, anyway.

When we separated, I was breathless and so turned on I was tempted to pull him into the car to fuck me one last time.

But I knew that was not the move, and I had to get out of there before my whore of a vagina took over again.

“I’ve gotta go, Nathan,” I said with a pout. “Just give me some time, okay?”

“Okay,” he said as he reluctantly released me and stood back to his full height. “Will you please text me that you got home safe, at least?”

“I can do that. I promise.” I smiled up at him. He closed my door and gave me a small wave as I put the car in drive and started the drive back to reality.