Page 99 of Falling Offsides

Fishing my keys from my pocket, I go straight to my door, and then…

Click.

It opens.

Samson scurries out.

Right to her like the love fool she’s made him too.

Courtney freezes.

She stares down at him. Then up at the door. Finally, atme.

At realization.

“You—” she starts, breath catching. Her jaw drops, voice turning sharp, accusing. “You live here?”

My silence is damning. I know, but I’m not a liar. I haveneverlied to Courtney. Besides, the answer is pretty fucking obvious with Samson yapping at her for attention after bounding out of our place.

Maybe I’m delusional… but I’m notthatfucking crazy.

Court’s eyes widen with something like betrayal and disbelief. I hate it so much that I’m incapable of saying anything. The dryness in my mouth makes it impossible to form words.

“You’ve been here this whole time and didn’t say anything?” The question is rhetorical and vapid as she marches toward me, fury boiling red to the surface of her skin, and pushes hard.

The impact jostles her away from me as I stumble back a step. Enough that I can’t reach for her fast enough when she continues back tracking all the way to her gaping door.

Just as she slams it between us tears skitter down her fury-blotched face.

It’s enough to break me. To make every damn truth I haven’t told her worse than any lie I could have.

I’ve spent my life keeping people at a distance. Keeping things clean. No attachments. No strings. I’ve been running from anything that feels too real, too deep because the only space I had for love was all hockey.

And now Courtney’s walked away from me. From us.

I should feel relief. If I list out the pros and cons, I’m certain that the cons will have it for anything between us…

But I’m drowning. At the thought of not seeing her again. Of not talking to her. Not getting another of her smiles all to myself. More than that, I’m dying at the thought of her behind her door crying because of me.

I thought I had control over this. I thought I knew how to play this game.

But she’s taken the rules and twisted them into something I can’t understand.

Now, I can’t breathe without her. Nor can I save myself. Or stop this spiral.

I’ve never lived before like I have in her shadows, watching her, existing around her. Next to her.

I’ve been waiting for the moment when she’d understand just how fucking far I’ve fallen for her.

I want to stop it. I want to keep my distance. But every part of me is tethered to her.

I can’t let her go.

“Court…” My voice cracks, the vice in my chest cinching each breath as I stand at her door. I need to say something, to do something to fix my fuck up, even if it’s too late for anything else.

My hands shake as I drag them through my hair, frustration twisting my insides into a knot. I lean against the doorframe of her apartment, hearing the muffled sounds of her movement inside. Her breathing, soft but quick and stilted.

Fuck.