Page 160 of Falling Offsides
Courtney is the only person that I’ve looked at and every memory I have of my family comes back to me. The good ones that brighten up my world. I look at her and I feel that echoing awe that I’ve witnessed between my parents. Between Étty and Marley when they look at each other for that split second too long with certainty and ease… with a promise that no matter what, everything will be okay.
"I haven’t had a home in a long time,” Court murmurs, tears rolling down her temples.
“You have me now.” My hand slides into her hair, my thumb brushing the back of her neck as I maneuver onto my side and roll her into me.
Courtney’s eyes search mine. As though she can’t quite figure out what that means.
So I tell her, “You can break here. With me. I’ll catch you. Whenever, wherever, however.” I pull her closer, like I can fuse us together forever. My palm finds her cheek, and I hold her like she’s all I’ll ever need. “More than that, Court, you can heal here too. When you’re ready,I’ll be here to put you back together. No matter what, Princess, I’ll make everything okay for you when you’re ready.”
With a nod, she nuzzles her face into the top of my chest while her arm wraps around my waist, fingers clawing into my bare skin. No one has ever held on to me this tight, with such necessity that I feel it in the marrow of my bones. There’s nowhere else I’ll ever want to be except with her.
“How about we use those tickets I got you? We can go see that private exhibition you were looking up and then grab some lunch.” I expect Courtney to find an excuse to say no, but instead she nods, and in a move that completely blindsides me, she presses a kiss to my chest.
It’s tender and sweet and my heart stutters like a fool when she looks up at me and smiles. “Your family is leaving tomorrow. Don’t you want to spend time with them?”
“Étty got a boat for this afternoon. It’s cooler for the boys and he’s meeting up with friends this morning while my parents make use of the spa treatments we booked for their anniversary.”
“What about your sister?”
“Sabine is being Sabine. She likes doing her own thing and exploring places on her own. I think she inherited Mom’s wanderlust. When she met my dad, she was a flight attendant and he was the equipment manager for the hockey Olympic team that year. That’s how they met.”
“Sounds like fate.”
“Yeah…”Like hammering my coach’s daughter in the head with my puck.
I don’t tell her that though, not yet. One day when we’re looking back at all these moments, I will. I’ll point out that I knocked her right off her feet.
“If you don’t have any plans later, you can come hang out with us. My mom and Marley would love me for bringing you.”
“I don’t want to like… intrude on your brother’s plans again. He was gracious enough about me crashing your family’s celebration?—”
“You were invited by our mom, there was no crashing. And now, I’m inviting you because I want you there. I want to make the most of every second we have. I know Étty was grumpy and short, but it wasn’t because of you.” Big blue eyes widen in question. “I promise. He was mad at me for… umm… watching you without your consent. Then he was mad at me for telling you about it. It shouldn’t surprise you when I tell you that he’s super protective of our family, so me telling you what I did, is a big red flag for him.”
A soft hand palms my face. “I’m not going to get you into trouble. Sure, I mean, the stalking was very red flaggy but…”
“But?”
A deep flush tinges her face. Blooming on the bridge of her nose and spreading to the tips of her ears. “But I don’t hate the idea of you watching me.”
“You don’t hate it…”
Courtney shakes her head. “I don’t hate watching you either. It’s kind of addictive and comforting. Like having you there even though you’re not there.”
“So you’re admitting that you do want me around. That you like me near you.”
I fucking adore the giggle that bubbles from her chest. It contrasts the teary red still staining her eyes, lightens it a tad. “Don’t make it a thing, Masterchef.”
“Oh, it’s a thing, Princess.”
Courtney nods, her lips brushing my jaw as she trails the elastic of my silk cap with her fingertips. She keeps looking at me like she’s waiting for permission on what to do next.
I hate it. I want her to feel confident and comfortable. I think it’s telling of where we’re at. And I know that just as she’s slowly opening herself up to me, we’ll get to the point where she won’t overthink her actions or her words. She won’t be afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.
I think part of the problem is that she’s been berated so many times, that she doesn’t know where it’s safe to tread anymore. So it’s down to me to make sure there are no eggshells between us. It’s on me to build her confidence and her trust in me and herself.
If I do that, I’ll have done something good. Something worthwhile.
“Do you know what my favorite part of watching you is?” Court looks at me expectantly. “When you talk to Delilah, you’re open and light. You don’t overthink and your sass isn’t there to keep people out.”
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