Page 35 of Falling into Place

Chapter Twenty-Four

Carly

I’m a sucker for friends to lovers. Especially when it’s one of those slow burns that sneaks up on them. Like, he’s known her for years and they have that closeness and trust of a deep friendship, and bam! One day, he wakes up and realizes he’s madly in love.

—Carly Porter at the office book club, last spring

Carly hadn’t talked to Sasha for a week, which was the longest they’d ever gone, even when Carly lived two states away.

She didn’t blame Sasha for her silence, but still, it ate at her all week and only abated when she showed up at Social Capital for Kendall’s birthday Saturday evening.

Sasha was there, too, and Carly kept her distance at first, wanting to give Sasha whatever space she needed.

But when Sasha complimented Carly’s purse—a vintage find she’d stumbled across at an estate sale last week—Carly knew they’d be okay.

It may take a few weeks and some groveling on Carly’s part, but they’d get there.

When the party was over, her first thought as she walked to her car was to call Brooks, but she hesitated after pulling up his contact.

They hadn’t talked in two days. Not really.

He’d called yesterday after work but hadn’t sounded good.

He’d told her his shift had been rough and he’d stayed several hours over.

She’d asked if he wanted to come over and she’d make him dinner, hoping he’d agree and talk to her about what had been so difficult.

She couldn’t imagine having a job like his and would probably need regular therapy to keep some semblance of a healthy mental state if she did.

He’d declined in a way that tugged at her heart, and she’d let him go. She hadn’t stopped thinking about him, though.

With a frown, she put her phone down and turned on the ignition.

She grabbed takeout on the way home and ate in front of the television.

When the clock neared eight, she glanced at her phone again, wondering if Brooks was okay.

She wasn’t the kind of person who processed difficult things alone, but she could appreciate their differences there.

She didn’t want to push if he wasn’t ready to talk.

As if her thoughts had summoned him, her phone rang.

“Hey,” she said with a smile. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Quick, who makes shoes with the red soles?”

“Christian Louboutin, why?”

“I’m at Fassler Hall with Jeff for trivia.”

That was so much better than her mental image of him at home, alone and upset. “Brooks Martin, are you cheating?”

“We already turned our answers in, I just wanted to know if I was right.”

“Were you?”

He laughed. “Not even close.”

“Should have asked me to come,” she said, only half joking.

“I would have,” he said, followed by a shuffling noise as if he were getting up and walking.

His voice lowered. “But Jeff said this was a guy’s team only.

No girls allowed. And yes, he said it like that, like we’re in fifth grade and just put up a ‘Keep Out’ sign on our tree house to keep the cooties away. ”

Jeff did take trivia very seriously. She avoided being on his team at all costs.

Suddenly the background noise was gone, like he’d stepped outside. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing, just hanging out at home.” Wishing you were here.

“Game’s almost over, mind if I come over after?”

“I’d love that.”

“Brooks!” Jeff shrieked in the background. “Get in here!”

Carly laughed. “You’d better go.”

Brooks’s voice was muffled as he yelled back, “I’m coming, man.” Then, in a clear whisper into the phone, “This was a mistake.”

“Yes, it was.”

“See you soon.”

Brooks arrived an hour later.

“Did you win?” she asked as they settled on the couch.

He extended his arm across the back. “Nope.”

“I’m sorry.”

He smiled. “I don’t care. I doubt Jeff will ever ask me to come again, though. I think my performance that first time set up unrealistic expectations and he thought I’d be more helpful.”

“Rookie mistake,” she teased.

“Right?” His attention was diverted when Pepper entered the room, and he leaned over to scratch him.

“You don’t do that often,” she stated. “Go out with people you don’t know very well.”

“You mean when I’m not being dragged by my sister? True. But I actually had fun. Maybe the whole magazine thing was good for me.”

She cleared her throat, and he grinned at her.

“In more ways than one.” He leaned forward and propped his forearms on his knees, his hands extended. He looked down. “I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA.”

“Don’t apologize.” She put her hand on his back. “I’m sorry work was tough. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” She felt his heavy sigh through her fingers. “But maybe I should.”

She wanted to scoot over and wrap her arms around him. Instead, she remained where she was, listening and waiting, with her hand on his back. Giving him space but letting him know she was here.

“There’s this seventeen-year-old kid. His parents were in a car accident.

His mom didn’t make it and his dad is on a vent in the ICU.

” His head dropped lower and he pressed his thumbs against the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

“It’s still touch-and-go for his dad right now.

I had to tell him that, and to try to explain the injuries and what we were doing to try to help him.

And the whole time I was talking it was just .

..” He trailed off and took a few long inhales.

Carly’s heart hurt for the kid and for Brooks, her throat tightening with each breath.

His voice shook a little when he spoke again.

“It felt like I was looking at myself. And part of me knew I was in a unique position to be there for this kid. I mean, I’ve literally been in his shoes and I know the gut-wrenching agony he’s feeling, and yet all I could do was stand there, several feet away, talking in some robotic voice like I didn’t feel every word like barbed wire straight to my gut.

” He turned his face away. “When he started crying, I left. I fucking left, Carly. I called pastoral care to send someone to talk to him.”

Tears burned beneath her eyelids. She wished with everything in her she knew what to say, but she didn’t.

She moved closer and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder.

She slid her palm across his cheek and turned his face to look at her, their noses touching.

His eyes were sad but dry, reflecting a pain deeper than words could heal. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“What’s wrong with me?” he whispered.

She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Nothing. You’re a human who was put in an impossible situation.

I can’t even imagine how hard that was for you.

And you didn’t leave him alone, you made sure someone better qualified for things like that took care of him.

It’s not your job to carry a burden that heavy on your own.

You’re a great doctor and an even better man. ”

He covered her hand with his and they sat like that for a long moment, breathing steadily. She pulled him closer and ran her fingers through his hair, then did it again. After a few minutes he hummed in pleasure. “That feels nice.”

“Sometimes when I was a kid my mom used to stroke my hair when I was sick or upset about something. I don’t know why, but it always made me feel better.”

He considered that for a moment, leaning heavily into her. “It reminds me I’m not alone.”

“You’re not. I’m glad you told me what happened.”

He was silent for so long she didn’t think he’d reply, but then he said, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the one out there saving lives.”

“I don’t save everyone.”

She paused her ministrations. “And when you don’t, it’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

He shrugged.

“Some things are outside our control.”

“Says the biggest control freak I know.” She heard the tiniest smile in his voice, and it released a fraction of tension from the moment. But the curve of his shoulders and unfocused look in his eyes said he was exhausted. He needed rest.

“Want to watch a movie?” she suggested. “I won’t even pick one that should but won’t make you cry. We can go with something light.”

“Sure,” he said. “That sounds great.”

Carly woke up the next morning her favorite way: with a warm body beside her. His large fingers traced a line from her shoulder to her hip and back up, featherlight and tender.

She opened her eyes and found his gaze on her.

Normally she’d be self-conscious because she wasn’t one of those peaceful sleepers who woke up looking the same as when she went to bed.

She slept with a mouth guard, drooled when she slept hard (which she usually did after sex), and her hair was always a hot mess.

But the look in his eyes as he gazed at her stopped her heart. Some unnamed emotion rose up inside her chest and gathered in her throat. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered. She hoped he would never stop.

His expression remained serious and contemplative as he moved his finger to her shoulder to start another trail down her skin. “I was just noticing some things.”

“Noticing things?”

He nodded. “I’m a scientist. I observe.”

She had the urge to smile, but the intensity in his eyes stopped her.

He swallowed as he brushed his finger just beneath her jaw.

“Your pulse is visible here. Steady and strong, and I felt your heart beating.” His palm flattened just below her collarbone.

“I saw the rise and fall of your chest; the way your lungs expanded with air all on their own without the help of a machine.” His thumb gently traced her eyebrow.

“I watched your eyelids flutter as you woke up, and your eyes became lucid as they focused on me, and your lips curved into a smile when you recognized me.” His chin trembled, so slight she might have imagined it.

“So many tiny details that people hovering around hospital beds day and night are desperate to see from their loved ones, and I realized what a gift they are. What a gift you are.”

There was not one single word she could utter. Nothing to do justice for the way he’d effectively just stolen her breath and taken her heart into his hands.

The only possible response was to kiss him with everything she had, which is exactly what she did. And when her lips touched his, she came to a significant but unsurprising realization.

She was falling in love with Brooks Martin.