Page 52 of Fair Trade (New York Monarchs #2)
forty-seven
I suck in a shocked breath. “Nick.”
“Have for a very long time, if I’m being honest.” He nods to my phone, whose ringer seems like it’s about to go on the fritz with the barrage of emails coming its way. “That man had no idea what this was, but knew he had lost something much too valuable to let go of.”
My heart is beating faster than the notifications are coming in. The realization that Nick’s feelings for me started long before we got married. Enough for him to seek help and work on himself. Not knowing that life would throw us this curveball and we’d end up married to one another.
Meaning he doesn’t have this displaced feeling of loving me simply out of duty. Simply because I’m his wife.
Proving that I can trust his actions and words above the doubts that unjustly roam free in my mind.
I’m stunned by the revelation.
Of how his feelings seem to perfectly match my own.
But he must mistake my silence for rejection.
He places a soft kiss on my forehead and stays there as he speaks.
“Read them. Please. There is no long, thought-out love declaration in any of them, but maybe if you look close enough, you can see what we were both too scared to admit. That it has always been us. From the very beginning. From that first night in the bar. The night that changed our lives forever.”
He stands, and I immediately miss the warmth and comfort only his closeness provides.
“Read them. I’ll give you some space. I’ll even sleep in the guest room if you need time to process it all. But please, just… read them.” He leaves and makes his way up the stairs, only the sound of my phone and my breathing heard in the empty room.
I silence my phone and immediately open the first email.
I don’t blink as I swipe up to the next one.
I move on to the next one.
And the next one.
A hard laugh escapes from deep in my chest at the same time a tear hits my screen. I wipe it away, accidentally skipping a few dozen emails.
And the one right after.
Nick is always wearing a fancy watch, only taking it off and placing it on his nightstand when he gets in bed. I make a note to take a peek as soon as I’m done reading these emails.
I promise myself I’ll only read a few more. I’ll be here all night if I read them all, and my heart is screaming at me to go find Nick.
I cover my mouth to hold in the cry trapped in the back of my throat.
My mind tells me to stop, but my eyes skate past every word at my disposal.
My fingers are trembling so badly I accidentally send the screen flying up and select an older email.
That absurd email was exactly what I needed to finally move from the couch and run up the stairs.
Delilah is hot on my heels, thinking we must be playing some kind of game, but I don’t need her to see what her parents are about to do next, so I walk her to her dog bed in Nick’s office and toss her a new toy from a stash I have hidden in here.
Once she’s settled, I enter our bedroom and close the door behind me. I don’t see Nick but can hear the shower running.
I’m pulling my blouse over my head as I make my way over to our bathroom.
Steam billows around Nick. His hands are braced on the tiled wall, his head bowed, the water from the rainfall showerhead sluicing over him.
The sound of my pants hitting the ground has him snapping his head up, his red-rimmed eyes boring into mine.
I peel out of my underwear and bra quickly and open the door to the expansive shower.
“Luisa,” Nick starts, his voice gone hoarse. “What are you doing?”
I step under the water, frame his face with my hands as I lift up on my tiptoes, and speak into his lips. “I love you, Nick.”
Nick’s hands find purchase on my hips and bring me flush to him, ignoring the growing hardness pinned between us. “What did you just say?”
I blink against the warm water trickling down my face yet still shiver under the intensity of Nick’s gaze.
“I said I love you,” I say more forcefully this time, hoping he’ll hear me clearly under the running water.
“I love you and I want to do this right this time. I want to be in a real relationship, one where I don’t have to tell myself that I’m playing a role when, in reality, I don’t think I could imagine a world where I was no longer your wife.
Because I’m in love with you, and now you’re stuck with me.
So I hope you really meant it when you said—”
His lips crash onto mine, and I’m consumed by the ferocity of his kiss.
He backs me up against the slick tiled wall without leaving a sliver of space between us. My hands curl around the back of his neck as he angles us to deepen our kiss.
I moan into his lips when he lifts me higher, and my legs instinctively wrap around his hips.
His cock bumps my entrance, and we both gasp at the sensation.
His eyes meet mine, and a kaleidoscope of emotions reflects back at me.
Hope, relief, lust, and love.
I place a soft kiss on his neck, then whisper into his ear. “Please.”
He leans back. “Please, what?”
I search his eyes, the same ones I hope to stare into for the rest of my life. “You really love me?”
His hands tighten on my hips. “This love… it fills my chest with worry. Worry that I won’t have enough time to show you all the ways in which I can love you.
Having to settle with this lifetime to love you deeply.
Only hoping I will find you in the next and the one after that to prove my point.
” His forehead rests against mine. “I love you so much, it sometimes hurts to breathe. Knowing that you’re walking around freely in this world with my heart firmly clasped in your hands while blissfully unaware of the power you hold over me.
You’ve created a space in my heart that no longer knows how to survive without you.
My love for you is firmly embedded in every fiber of my being.
And I promise to make sure you feel it every day for the rest of our lives. ”
“Good,” I whisper wobbly. “Then start now.”