Page 92 of Facing the Enemy

“Make a list of personal items for one of these agents to pick up at a Walmart. No devices. Nothing for Florakis to trace you.”

“That’s absurd. I have a business to run. What do I tell my employees?”

“With the FBI investigation into Mercury Alarms, your attorney recommends you leave for a vacation over the holidays and let your board run the business.”

“I’m a hands-on owner.”

I glared at Ethan. “Think about Special Agent Luke Reardon.”

49

RISA

SAC Dunkin instructed me to keep my rear in the chair until I completed the paperwork for today. He also said I couldn’t join Gage for any case until I had an all-clear, mentally balanced report. When I received a call from one of the approved psychologists that she had a cancellation for today, I agreed and drove to her office.

Now I waited for a woman who had the power to make or break my career. My mind swept across mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, insomnia, PTSD, and schizophrenia. The longer I sat, the more I formed an accurate diagnosis for me. Anxiety fit. Depression fit. Insomnia had become a fact of life. I hadn’t considered PTSD, but that was a viable possibility.

The door opened, and a tall woman with shoulder-length white hair and a pleasant demeanor gestured for me to enter. “Risa, I’m Dr. Looney, welcome to my office.”

I’d forgotten the psychologist’s name. In my eagerness to comply to the SAC’s demands, I’d simply called the numbers he’d provided. If not for the reason I’d been sentenced here, I’d find humor in her name.

I followed her down a short hallway, past a receptionist who had her red head buried in her phone. Inside the small office, Dr. Looneyinvited me to sit. “First of all, I want you to know that I married into the Looney family.”

That broke the ice. We laughed, and I relaxed.

Dr. Looney glanced at her notes on a legal pad like what Gage used. “I see you have experienced a tragic death. You took a leave from the FBI and recently returned to work.”

“Yes, last July my brother was killed in a failure to stop and render aid, and I was with him. The driver remains at large.”

“Were you off duty?”

“Yes.”

“SAC Dunkin is requesting assurance of your mental astuteness to resume work. Would you tell me what happened then and to date?”

Her open body language told me this wasn’t her first rodeo. I needed to slash my internal sarcasm. “Only a few people know the story. SAC Dunkin, my parents, and Agent Gage Patterson, my partner.” I paused. “Not sure if we will continue to be partners, but we worked together when my brother was killed.”

“As a private person, telling me about the incident and leading up to now will be difficult.”

“To say the least.”

“How have you handled the grief to this point?”

My heart rate sped. “I studied the twelve-step recovery program for grief. I expected not to follow the textbook definition and soon gave up.”

“Each person’s response is rarely in order. I assume you struggle with depression, denial, sadness, anxiety, and anger. From your file, I’d say you try to move through each one far too quickly.” She leaned in. “Risa, we don’t have to understand every emotion. Simply accept those feelings as they come. Fighting razor-sharp emotions instead of allowing them to heal only makes the grief longer and more painful.”

“I know talking things through is best.” I paused to swallow hard. “How long are you willing to listen?”

“We can send out for Chinese food.” She scooted a box of tissues across the coffee table separating us.

I didn’t want to need them. Weepy women made me uncomfortable,although I’d cried my eyes out with Gage. “Dr. Looney, I understand why I’m here, and my brother’s death is raw. Finding an agent’s head in my bathtub hasn’t helped. My question is, are you a Christian?”

“I’m Roman Catholic. Faithful.” Her genuine smile settled my doubts. “How I counsel is always based on my core beliefs about God. However, my method with those who are believers reflects a Christian worldview. Would you prefer a Christ-centered approach?”

God, I hope this is from You because the guilt of Trenton’s death is affecting my judgment.

“Yes. I need a faith-filled perspective.” I breathed in deeply. “My brother had a rebellious streak.” I paused. “I guess I do too. He turned to alcohol and drugs. Lots of problems. He broke contact years ago. In July, he called ...” I finished the lengthy story and relayed finding Luke’s severed head. “Thank you for listening.”