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Chapter nine

Nerys

T hree days had passed in the “hunting lodge,” and it felt like all that Nerys learned was how much she didn’t know.

“She has time,” Idris said to Fina after a disastrous session of teaching Nerys the multiple curtsies she would have to use at court. At least they had paused to give her legs a much-needed rest. “No one masters those in a week.”

They were back in the morbid sitting room, or as Nerys called it, her “alcove of misery.” But if Nerys thought that being around Fina for endless hours would have made her more pleasant, well, thinking like that was dangerous.

Fina rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. “Alright. How about another demonstration of how disastrous this is going to be? Nerys, I’m a Land Holder. Greet me.”

Nerys swallowed. Which one was this again? “Good morning, Your Monstrousness.”

The remnants of color left Fina’s face. “No. Your Magnificence . Now, say farewell to me.”

“Farewell, Thy Magnificence.”

“No! My Magnificence.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Nerys protested. “You aren’t ‘my’ anything.”

Idris chuckled. Fina directed her ire at him. “You find this funny, Idris? She’s going to get herself killed.”

Idris stopped laughing long enough to say, “It’s only been a few days. Give her time.”

“We don’t have time.”

“We have enough. Belittling her won’t make this go any faster.”

“And you’re far too hopeful. You—”

The two siblings bickered while Nerys fidgeted and stared at the golden tea, which rested on the end table next to her.

The poor cup was part of her earlier lesson in spoon theory.

With eyes finally off her, she let herself slouch, resting against the back of the chair.

Something about being with Idris and Fina was like being a child again—insignificant and stupid.

Then again, they were teaching her things Callidora did learn as a child.

And she needed every lesson. At court, everyone short of chambermaids and certain nobles’ children would outrank Nerys, or as she would soon be known—Sword Man Callidora. 61

And the court formalities extended far beyond the ceremonial and into mundane affairs. Even something as simple as sitting at court had its own complex web for who could sit in the presence of whom—and when. Not to mention the sumptuary laws, which decreed who could wear what and when.

“We haven’t even taught her about the people yet,” Fina said. Nerys’s attention turned back to the siblings. What was Fina talking about? Idris’s face offered no clue.

“What about the people?” Nerys dared to guess. “I know their names. Now.”

“And we’d be fools to send you to court with nothing more than lists memorized off cards,” Fina said.

Idris coughed and shifted, reaching for his cup of tea. “Fina’s right. A woman of Callidora’s rank wouldn’t be expected to know everything about the court’s inner workings, but you need to know how the court really works.”

This kept getting more and more delightful. “Um…and how does the court really work? You’ve already taught me about the damn table settings.”

“Not that,” Fina flicked her wrist. “History. Who’s in power now, and why.”

Nerys was na?ve, but she wasn’t that na?ve—she guessed why Idris seemed uncomfortable.

She’d heard more than enough, even in Raven’s Crest, about the various mistresses and relatives who held too much power over the R?ll.

As for who held what power now, that was another matter.

And Fina was right—it was a matter that could mean the difference between success and failure.

“Fine,” Nerys said. “Might as well start telling me.”

Fina nodded, giving a rare bit of approval. “Where to begin?” Fina muttered. “Well, for one, the R?ll doesn’t have a primary mistress.”

“Really?” Nerys frowned. “I thought he did.”

“He used to,” Fina said. “But then he became bored.”

“And never replaced her? Isn’t that strange?”

“Very, especially since the R?ll’mal has been dead for years now. It’s an unofficial position at court—even comes with its own rooms.”

Nerys took a moment to adjust the sleeves on her dress. “I take it that the R?ll is hardly celibate if you’re planning on my seducing him.”

“That he most definitely is not,” Idris said. He set down tea on the saucer. “The R?ll likes variety now, never giving one woman more than a couple weeks of being the favorite.”

“…And the courtiers don’t mind? These are their family members being…enjoyed.”

Fina snorted. “Any scruples tend to be overcome by being well compensated for the effort.”

“And any other issues are pushed aside by the fact that Abnar’s counselors prefer it this way,” Idris explained. “They don’t have to deal with one woman and family exploiting the crown like a queen.”

“Alright.” Nerys nodded. That wasn’t too complicated. “No primary mistress.” That would make it easier for her—presumably one less woman who might prevent Nerys from obtaining her goal. “What is next?”

Next came the voluminous details about how Kor’yitz Adelyna’s relationship with the R?ll was reportedly strained, because some said he was eying his son to inherit. A woman ruler, alone, was unheard of. 62

As for Adelyna’s brother, Aherin, Fina described him as a “brutish lush,” while Idris described him as “over-absorbed in pleasure.”

Nerys scowled. “You’re not Ca’mailian. How do you know all of this?”

Fina gave Idris a knowing glance.

“We’d be horrible at our work if we did not,” Idris said. True, they were spies.

Yet they had to be more—they were too well-born. Too well-connected. How did they get the Ca’mailian noble to help them in the first place? What exactly was she missing?

“The Kor’yitz invites you to walk with her into her personal dining salon for a meal,” Idris asked. “Do you accept?”

“Yes,” Nerys said, answering without hesitation.

At Idris’s invitation, the two of them were walking outside the lodge a few days after arrival, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall fully consumed the woods.

They approached the estate’s garden, trimmed and buried under leaves in preparation for the approaching cold.

Giant vases and odd statues of women wearing draping robes and dancing with contorted animals graced the garden, the moment of their agony—or bliss—frozen forever.

Yet there was no chance to enjoy the sun—even an outdoor stroll after the mid-day meal wasn’t free from lessons.

Nothing was free from lessons. Even her bath time was expected to be used to practice speech.

Even if this was one of the few times that she had been alone with Idris, despite having spent nearly every waking hour together.

“Explain,” Idris said. “You’re breaking a court rule by doing so.”

“True—accompanying the Kor’yitz to dinner is for the highest-ranking women only, and technically I should receive permission from each before doing so.”

“And?” Idris grinned at her, making her heart skip.

“And Kor’yitz Adelyna is notorious for breaking the rules when she can—and in her own chambers, she has the authority to do as she pleases.”

“Good.” Idris nodded, like Nerys was a child who recited a perfect lesson.

“Are you surprised I remembered? We just went over this this morning.”

Idris shrugged and pushed a lock of blond hair out of his face. “You’ve had to remember a lot. Not many could do as well. I don’t say it as much as I should, but I’ve been truly impressed.”

A lot? An understatement. There was cutlery, curtsies, including the complicated grand homage that was meant for the R?ll, and the R?ll’s favorite pastimes. The important things for one to know in life.

“Fina doesn’t seem to think so,” Nerys said with a hint of bitterness. The critiquing from Fina she could handle. The constant insults were beginning to be a bit much.

Idris let out a long breath. “Fina…is complicated.”

“You’re not telling me she’s like this because she’s worried about me.”

“Hardly—more like Fina can’t stand failure. ”

“Yours, or mine?”

“Both.” He gave Nerys a sympathetic glance. “And despite how she acts, she isn’t heartless.”

“I never said she was.”

“She just knows what can happen. She does feel every death she’s had a part in keenly.”

…And how many was that? Nerys wasn’t about to press for more. Idris was open with her, but only to a point.

“I see.” They walked in silence for a few moments.

Though the estate was in the woods, signs of life were noticeably absent this afternoon, other than a few small birds twittering in the trees.

They walked past the garden, which was encircled with giant stones—a pity it was so late in the year and after the first hard frosts, for it must have been remarkable in the summer.

Still, it was easier to focus on the garden than the man next to her, the one that made her heart tremble when he smiled at her—which seemed to happen quite often.

And which was most likely the result of him trying to keep their tool—her—complacent while the supposed proof was arriving.

Though that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the attention in the meantime.

She could not forget how things truly were between them—their respective roles.

“Nerys,” Idris said, before pausing to look around them, “I wanted to talk to you alone for another reason.”

“Oh?” Nerys frowned. “Is something wrong?”

“What? No, not at all. I—there’s something I’ve held onto and it’s more than time I give it back.” Idris reached into his pocket and fished around. “I haven’t found the right moment—sorry, I know that’s a poor excuse.” Idris pulled out a crystal stone rose—the one she lost in the woods.

“Living Gods—where did you find it?” Nerys asked, reaching out and taking back the rose. It was exactly as she remembered, clouded and white and the size of a large marble, with a chip on one petal.

“After we entered the woods. You went off ahead and I noticed it slip out of your dress. I’d have told you then, but we had enough to worry about that night.”

“Was that the only thing you saw?”

Confusion crossed his features. “I…pardon?”

“Never mind.” He didn’t know what she was talking about.

It was likely that both the rose and coin purse slipped loose in the chaos of trudging through the woods.

That was a night she’d never forget, like a bad nightmare.

“Thank you, and don’t worry about waiting to tell me. I’m just happy I have it now.”

Idris grinned. “I’m glad. I like seeing you smile.”

A blush rose to her cheeks, unbidden. He was a noble—flirting was what they did. He was just being polite.

But this rose…she never thought she’d see it again, this little piece of home. Nerys smiled and tucked the stone into her pocket—securely, this time—and they went back to walking once more, kicking their feet through fallen leaves.

“That’s a beautiful stone,” Idris said. “I admired it extensively. Crystal?”

“Yes. It’s a family heirloom. My great grandmother’s.”

“Her rose?”

“Her eye.”

Idris’s mouth dropped open. “I heard rumors, but I didn’t think…”

“Stop.” Nerys laughed. “It’s not like we pinned grandma down and gouged her eye out.” Nerys shook her head, biting back her mirth. “She died suddenly, and her eyes happened to be turned when she did. So, the family kept them.”

“I…see.” Idris shuddered. “I think.”

“What? Cerdorani don’t keep their gold eyes?”

“They aren’t real gold—and no, it’s not like they stay illuminated outside of our skulls.” 63

“Huh—I’ve wondered.”

Idris let out an amused huff. A few steps later the amusement left, his countenance becoming serious.

“I hope you know how much it means to us—to me—that you’re doing this, Nerys.

I know we are asking a lot of you, learning so much, and that’s just the start.

Risking your life—I know you haven’t even seen everything yet… about Abnar.”

Nerys’s heart pounded in her chest. What it meant to him ?

Did he mean….? Shit, she wasn’t imagining it—he was paying her attention like that .

This was beyond polite flirtation. She swallowed, though her throat was dry.

A cold breeze traced her cheek, making her wrap her arms around herself.

“I’m…glad to help. If the R?ll did as you said. ”

“I know. I just hope you know that what you’re doing, all this work—and the trust in me—it’s not being ignored.” He smiled. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you better.”

What was she supposed to say to that? Shit, she was supposed to say something.

Anything.

Any time now.

Idris looked at her expectantly.

Yes, words would be good.

Words? Hells, even just sounds would be good.

Any sounds.

Suddenly, Idris turned to walk back to the house, fortunately before Nerys started grunting in desperation. “Come,” he said. “We’ve been gone longer than I thought. We need to get back to your lessons.”

Nerys coughed. “Yes” ?Nerys watched him stride ahead of her, the way his breaches fit snugly against his thighs? “that’s a good idea.”

“Idris!” Fina yelled out from the doorstep. Oh, that’s why he wanted to go back. Best not to keep Fina waiting—she was unpleasant enough as it was.

They made their way back to the house in silence.

Nerys forced her gaze forward—what would Fina think, if she knew what was going through her head about Idris?

She probably wouldn’t be thrilled— Nerys was just a mere peasant girl, no matter how much they pretended.

How much did she see of their exchange? Fina’s expression was a bit more… pinched than normal.

“We don’t have time to waste,” Fina said once they reached the door. “You two have been gone for more than an hour.”

“It’s alright, Fina,” Idris said. “Even I need rest.”

“You can rest once she leaves for court.”

Idris gently pushed past Fina and went into the house, leaving Nerys to fend off his sister’s gaze on her own. “I hope this is worth it to you,” Fina said to Nerys. “This is just beginning. It won’t be getting any easier.”

“It is.”

Fina snorted and then strode inside. Nerys took a few calming breaths before going to her daily fate.

Fina was difficult. The lessons were brutal.

The risk was deadly. Though she wasn’t going to explain to Fina that she’d suffer far more than this for Adilette.

Adilette, her constant companion. Adilette her mentor. Adilette, who had saved her life.