Page 52 of Explorer’s Revenge

FORTY-FIVE

MAEVE

D éjà vu, that’s what I feel when I open my eyes to a familiar ceiling. Beeping sounds near me, and dim lights surround me. My heart thuds, and I jerk upright, scanning the room. I find my dad sleeping at my side. “Dad?”

He sits up, blinking. “Maeve,” he whispers as he pulls me into a hug. I fall into his embrace, but I continue to search my room.

“Dad, where are they? What happened?”

Pulling back, he cradles my face in his palms, searching my gaze before he deflates. “I thought I’d lost you again, Maeve. Don’t you ever do that again. I was so scared.”

“I’m sorry. I really am. Please, Dad, where are they?” I’m panicking.

The last thing I remember was Logan’s heart stopping.

“I know you aren’t going to calm down until you see them, so give me one second,” he whispers. He presses a buzzer, and within minutes, I’m being wheeled down the corridor. It must be nighttime because there aren’t many staff members or visitors and it’s quiet.

I lean forward like that will help me go faster. A couple of rooms down, they open a door and roll me inside, and I get my first glimpse of the guys. I feel like I can finally breathe again.

Logan is in a hospital bed like I was. His eyes are closed, and machines are hooked up to him, but he looks clean and less pale.

Rick is in a bed next to him, his head turned away.

Wilder is bandaged to hell but asleep in a large chair between them, while Way and Aiyaret are cuddled together on a sofa in the back of the room.

My dad lowers his voice so he doesn’t wake them. “They kept swapping who stayed with you and their friends until I kicked them out. Their fussing was annoying me or they would have been by your side.”

“Logan? Rick?” I whisper.

“They are going to be okay. Rick had some damage to his shoulder, but with physical therapy, it will be back to normal. He had a cut on his head, too, but the doctors weren’t overly worried. They are all dehydrated and need rest,” my dad explains.

“Logan?” I ask, and he winces.

“His condition is more serious. The lower half of his leg is gone. Luckily, he got here quickly, so infection hasn’t set in.

They did operate. Hopefully he won’t need anything, but he has a long road ahead of him, kid.

He’ll need lots of rest and physical therapy.

Ajax mentioned getting him the best treatment and prosthetic.

” The rest of his words fade off as I double over, tears filling my eyes.

Everything he worked for, all his dreams, was taken in an instant.

I know he’s lucky to be alive, but his independence and mobility meant everything to him, and now it’s just gone, and it’s my fault.

He was protecting me.

“Kid, don’t cry. They are all okay. They are alive thanks to you,” my dad murmurs, but that just makes me cry harder. “Let me wake them,” my dad offers, and I shake my head.

“No, let them sleep. I can’t face them anyway.” He frowns, and I wipe my eyes. “Take me back.”

“Maeve.”

“Take me back,” I demand.

Frowning, he helps wheel me out, and we are down the corridor when I hear footsteps.

“Carter!” We stop, and I freeze in my chair. “That’s it? You come in while we’re asleep and then just leave? Nothing else?” Wilder hurries around, stopping before me. “You aren’t even going to stay?”

I look away. “I was just checking on you.”

“Bullshit. You can lie to yourself, but not me,” he snaps, searching my eyes with desperation.

“I’m not lying,” I retort, wishing more than anything I wasn’t in this fucking chair so I could run away.

“Son, maybe this should wait,” my dad cautions, but Wilder steps forward.

“No offense, Mr. Carter, but she’s lying.” He looks at me, his eyes hard. “You’re being a coward, and Maeve Carter is not a fucking coward.”

“It’s my fault!” I yell, and he blinks. “It’s my fault Logan is in there. He lost his leg, Wilder. All his dreams, his future, are gone because of me.”

“That’s what you think?” He purses his lips. “My brother’s future is not gone, even without his leg, and no offense, Maeve, but not everything is about you, so you get your ass in that room and sit at his side, even if you feel guilty. He did everything to protect you. It’s the least you can do.”

“Son, stop,” my dad interjects. “Everyone is worried and stressed right now. Let’s give Maeve a minute, okay?”

Wilder looks from my dad to me, his eyebrow arched. “If you roll away, you’ve made your choice. We both know you aren’t a coward who runs away because you feel guilty. Those men need you, and you promised to be there. Don’t make yourself a liar.” He steps back, letting me choose, and I hesitate.

“It’s your choice, kid. Want me to slug him?” my dad teases, and I wipe my eyes, knowing my dad would, but Wilder is wrong.

I am a coward. I can’t face them, not right now.

“Maeve,” Aiyaret says softly as he appears at my side, and if it had been any of the others, I would have left, but it’s Aiy. “Logan is awake. He heard your voice, and he’s asking for you.”

My dad waits, letting me choose, so I take a deep breath and nod. “Take me to see him.”

My dad smiles as I turn around, and Wilder and Aiyaret follow me. Way is awake now, and so is Rick. I check them over before realizing I’m stalling. When my eyes land on Logan in the bed, I want to sob. He looks so weak, pale, and . . . small.

Logan always appears large with his personality and noisiness, but right now, he looks broken, and my heart breaks.

“There she is. How do you look hot even in a medical gown?” he teases, and my dad coughs. “Oops, sorry, future father-in-law. I couldn’t help myself. Your daughter is just so beautiful.”

My dad laughs and squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll be outside, okay? Shout if you need me.”

I nod and watch him leave before Wilder moves me closer and steps back. I linger at Logan’s bedside, where he sits up slightly. “Don’t look at me like that,” he whispers.

“Like what?” I murmur.

“Like you’re waiting for me to break down. I’ve had enough from these guys.”

“We are just worried,” I reply, placing my hand on the bed before I hesitate. He doesn’t, reaching for it and taking it as he smiles softly. “Logan, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asks, forcing a bright smile, but it’s tight. He’s holding on by a thread. I hate that he feels like he has to be strong right now.

“Your leg.” He jerks, and I hold his hand tighter. “I’m sorry. I know you were protecting me. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” He pulls me closer. “Look at me, Maeve. It isn’t your fault. I made a decision in that moment, and I don’t regret it. I’d do it all over again. Yes, it sucks that I lost my leg, but we’re alive, and that’s all that matters.”

When I’m quiet, he carries on, his voice too high and fast.

“I’m a fighter, Maeve, always have been. This will be no different. I know it won’t be easy, but I never did take the easy route anyway. Don’t blame yourself, okay? I don’t.”

“You don’t need to be okay and strong for me,” I tell him.

He goes to make a joke, and I squeeze his hand. “Logan, you don’t have to be okay right now. You don’t need to make jokes or make us comfortable. You are allowed to be sad, angry, or whatever you want to be. You don’t need to pretend—not for them and not for me.”

He holds my gaze, and I see his fragile walls crumble as he tries to hold himself together. It’s a feeling I know far too well.

“Can you hold me?” he whispers, and I’m up in a minute. Ignoring Wilder’s objections, I climb into the bed, careful of his leg and side, and tug him into my arms.

I don’t say anything. There’s nothing I can say that will make this situation better. Yes, Ajax will help, and he’ll get the best treatment. He’ll walk and have a new leg, but it doesn’t change what he has lost.

His tears are silent at first, but as I hold him, he sobs louder and starts to shake.

The others are quiet as I hold Logan, and despite his assurance, my guilt will never go away.

“We are right here,” I murmur, blinking back my own tears. “We are all right here, and we aren’t going anywhere. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“But I can’t do this job anymore. I’ll be left behind,” he sobs.

“Never,” I vow. “We will never leave you, I promise you. We are in this together. You can’t get rid of us, so don’t even think about it. For now, you need to focus on resting, okay? Try to sleep. We are right here.”

He cries for a little while longer until he finally falls to sleep, and I meet Wilder’s heartbroken eyes. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but what I said is true.

I’m not going anywhere.

I must fall asleep at some point because I wake up to a soft voice. I feign sleep when I realize it’s my dad.

“I know how you feel. When I found out about my illness, I thought it was a death sentence. The worst part was knowing I would never be out there at her side again. Son, whatever happens, you will never lose your family, but this is not the end. It’s just another battle, another path.

You’re strong—you have to be for my daughter to care for you so much.

If you are even half the man she thinks you are, then you’re going to be okay.

There are plenty of athletes and competitors out there with missing limbs.

This isn’t the end, not like it is for me.

You just have to want it badly enough.” He’s quiet for a moment.

“I can’t be out there with her anymore, and it kills me, but you can be.

She needs you. I knew it the moment she woke up and risked her life to come back for you.

You’re her team now, the family she needs, so be strong and tackle this like everything else.

You’re going to be okay, but when things get hard, you have a family to fall back on. ”

“I’m scared,” Logan admits softly. “I’m scared I’ll never get to see the world again, and that I won’t be able to keep up anymore.”

“Of course you are, that’s normal, but you can’t let fear stop you. You didn’t when you saved my daughter, and you won’t now, and you will always have a home with me, understood? Anyone who is willing to risk their life for Maeve is my family. Whatever happens, you aren’t alone.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” Logan asks.

“I used to be, but want to know what truly terrifies me? It’s leaving my daughter alone in the world, but she won’t be anymore, and I owe all of you for that.

I don’t know what happened on that island, and I don’t need to unless you want to tell me, but all I know is she risked her life to save you, and that tells me everything.

She’s the most loyal person in this world, and she chose you.

Whatever happens now, I know she’ll be okay. It’s a relief,” he replies.

“But there are five of us.” Logan tenses, no doubt trying to convey his meaning. My dad must catch on.

“Meh, my daughter has never been one to do anything the same way as others. I don’t care as long as she is happy and safe. Do you understand?”

“I do,” Logan answers. “Thank you. I’m not usually this . . . troubled. I just?—”

“It’s to be expected. I can’t begin to imagine what you are feeling, but if you let her, she’ll be right there with you through it all. Now, get some rest. I’ll watch over you, okay?”

I feel Logan slide down, and it doesn’t take long before he’s asleep. “I know you’re awake, kid.” I wince, and he chuckles softly. “You never could pull this trick on me, even when you were young. Sleep, tomorrow is a new day.” He pats my head, and I nod, moving closer to Logan.

The next journey will be just as hard as the one we took to get here.