Page 79 of Exiled
I shake my head. “No, Logan. I don’t need to, and I don’t want to. I’m not going to change my mind.”
“You’re absolutely sure that this is what you want to do? Just say, ‘No thanks, keep your fourteen billion dollars’?”
“You make it sound foolish, Logan.” I am irritated. A little mad at You, honestly. “I am taking ownership of myself in turning down this money,Caleb’smoney. I didn’t win the lottery. I didn’t earn it. It is Caleb trying to manipulate me from beyond the grave. Turning down Caleb’s money is the only thing Icando. I cannot and will not be his creation, his creature, his slave, hispossessionany longer. If I accept the money, regardless of how much it is, I would be putting myself back under his thumb. Selling myself to him, yet again. It would be just the same as if I’d never walked away from him at all. If I want to be free, truly free, of Caleb’s domination of my life, then I have to be free of any and all ties to him. And that includes his fortune, vast as it may be.”
You move to stand in front of me. Take my face in your hands. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like you’re stupid for not taking it. It’s just... it’s a fucking lot of money. I don’t think there is another person in the world capable of saying no to fourteen billion dollars.”
“Saying the number isn’t going to make it any more real to me, Logan. I am incapable of comprehending the reality of that much money. I don’t think anyone really is, but me least of all. My life thus far has not afforded me the kind of experience necessary to understand the value of money.” I grasp Your wrists in my hands. “And what’s more, I do not need to. You are not poor, by any measure. You will provide for my every need or want, and more besides. I have total faith in that, and in you. I do notneedCaleb’s money, because I have you. And hopefully, someday, I will earn money of my own.”
“I’m with you, babe. I support you.”
“But do you understand?”
“Yes, I do. I have a different view of money, because I’ve worked so hard for so long, because I came from nothing. I don’t pursue wealth as a goal in and of itself; I pursue success. I enjoy what I do and want to be the best at it, and fortunately, being the best means I make a lot of money in the process. Having the money I do means I’m better able to fathom the reality of what fourteen billion dollars looks and feels like, what it can do for you. It means I can better understand what you’re refusing. But it’s not my choice.”
“If it were your choice, if it were you making this decision, would you keep it?”
You take a moment, think about it. “I’d be a lot more tempted to rationalize why I should keep it, let’s just say that.”
“Let’s go, then. I want to be done with this once and for all.”
You are thinking again, and do not immediately respond. You look at me. “Can I make one small suggestion?”
“What?”
“Don’t just refuse it outright. It’ll get... I don’t even know, really, parceled out. Wasted, gobbled up by whoever can get their hands on it.”
“So what should I do with it?”
“Donate it. You know how many charities you could fund with that money? There’s an endless amount you could do with it. With even the tiniest percentage, you could fund an entire school district foryears. You could put an entire city full of kids through college. You could feed thousands of people. Put in wells in Africa. Build shelters for homeless people. My point is, don’t just walk away from it. You don’t have to keep it for yourself, but don’t just... leave it sitting on the table. Take it, but use it for others. You could form a nonprofit, fund it with Caleb’s money, and literally spend the rest of your life putting that money to use helping people. That’s—fourteen billion dollars, Isabel?—that’s world-changing money. Use it to change the world.”
“You’ll help me?”
“Of course.”
“Then let’s do it.” I feel a fever coming over me, ideas spinning through my head one after another too fast to pluck any single one. “When you talked about the charities you donated to, I got this—rush, from hearing you talk about it. And just thinking about it now, I’m getting excited. What better way to use Caleb’s money than to make the world a better place with it?”
“So you want to run a nonprofit? It’s a lot of work, babe.”
“But it’s making a difference. Toward the end of things with Caleb, when the status quo started changing—because of you, you know—I was growing increasingly discontent with the fact of Madame X, of what I—whatshe—was doing. Questioning the value in it. We talked about it, I think. How I felt as if I were wasting my time, wasting myselftrying to turn spoiledbrats into half-decent men, especially as it became obvious I never really changed them, just showed them how to hide their inner bastards. This? You said it yourself, this is a chance to do something powerful and life-changing. I don’t just want to distribute the money, though. I want to...dothings. Dig the wells. See what the money does.”
You are glowing. “This is going to be so cool, watching you do this.”
“You’re helping, Logan.Weare going to do this.”
“I’ll help form the nonprofit, sort out the tax exemptions and all that, get you staffed and whatever else, the nuts and bolts of it, the mechanics of a corporation. That’s what I do, after all. But this is you, Isabel. I’ll support you, go anywhere with you. If you’re digging wells in Africa, so am I. If you’re rescuing girls out of prostitution in Thailand, so am I. But honey, this is going to be your project.”
I do not argue. He’s right.
For the first time in my life, I have a purpose, something I’ve chosen. And, oddly, I have you to thank, Caleb.
Again.
But this time it’s a positive debt.
I wonder what you would think, if you could see what I’m going to do with your fortune?
Chapter