Page 18 of Exiled

“Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach become critics.”

“I’m not saying I’m a professional pirate voice critic—”

Logan bursts out laughing, drowning me out and cutting me off. “Professional pirate voice critic? AndI’mridiculous?”

“Yes.” I sound petulant.

“Come on, Is. Just give me one little ‘arrrgghhh, matey!’”

“No.”

He ducks so his face is in front of mine and makes a pathetic moue. “You wouldn’t say no to a one-eyed man, would you?”

“Oh my God. You’re guilting me?”

He shrugs. “If it’ll get you to loosen up, sure. Might as well get some mileage out of my...life-altering injury.”

“Logan.”

“Too soon?”

“Yes.Waytoo soon.” I glance at him. “And... loosen up? What does that mean?”

“Just that you’re a little uptight. Wound tight, you know? You take everything so seriously.” A shrug. His voice is matter-of-fact, as if everyone should know this.

“I am not uptight.”

He laughs, a sharp bark. “You are too! I think I’ve heard you say, like, three jokes in the entire time I’ve known you. That, my sexy little Spanish beauty, is the epitome of uptight. If you don’t tell jokes, shit will make you crazy. Lighten up.”

“And to, as you say, lighten up, I should speak in a dreadfully historically inaccurate pirate voice?”

“It’s a broad caricature, Isabel. It’s socially understood to be humorous rather than accurate. If you want to be alluptightabout it.”

I glare at him. But then, because he has a way of pulling things out of me, I curl my lip and make my voice rough. “Arrrrggghhh.”

“She has a sense of humor!” Logan waves his hands in the air. “Gods be praised!”

“I have a sense of humor.”

“Then tell a joke.”

“A joke?”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “Yes. A joke. Tell me a joke.”

“Why did the—”

“That’s not a joke. Try again.”

I think hard but come up blank. “I don’t know any jokes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor.”

“Did you hear about the pirate movie?”

“What pirate movie?”

“It was ratedarrrgghhhh.”

“Oh my God. That’s terrible.”