Page 67 of Exiled

“Isabel?” Logan’s voice, low and warm. “Did he hurt you?”

I don’t know how to answer. I can only weep harder. But why am I crying? Being kidnapped? The fear of the descent? Relief at being home? That I passed the final test, won the final battle against my need for Caleb? That I finally understand myself, my past, how it all fits together? For the haunting torment so visible in Caleb when he released me, sent me away?

All of it.

And I cannot put it into words.

“I’m here, Logan.” I whisper it to the cotton of his T-shirt; it’s all I can manage. “I’m... okay.”

“What happened?” This is a low rumble, rough, unsure.

Perhaps someday I will be able to tell him all that Caleb told me. Perhaps. But not now. Not today.

“I chose you.” My voice breaks on the last word.

Logan rolls me off him, and I open my eyes. Stare up at him.

One blue eye blazes with love. Azure eye. Deep-blue-sea eye. An eternity of blue.

Delicate touch to my cheekbone, tracing down. He brushes aside a lock of my hair. He is levered up on his elbow, leaning over me. He touches the scabbed red dot where Caleb’s knife nicked me. His eyes ask the question.

“I was gagged,” I answer in a whisper. “He cut it off.”

He traces a line across my jaw. Down to my throat. Touches with a tender fingertip five individual points on my throat, four on the left side of my windpipe, one on the right.

I shake my head. I can’t answer that one. “I’m fine.” It’s all I can say.

“He put his hands on you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Isabel.”Harsh, a scold, angry.

I curl my palm around the nape of his neck. Gaze up at him. Let him see the pain in my eyes, the confusion, the relief, let him have it all, have everything I can’t say.

“Just love me, Logan.” I whisper this as well, to hide what I suspect is a hoarse rasp. To speak too loudly does hurt; Caleb’s fingers left marks deeper than the bruises.

But Logan, Logan: You are my comfort.

I want to replace everything in my whole life with You.

Paint You over the scars on my soul. Wrap myself up in You, curl up in the warmth of You. Soak You into my skin, into my heart. Drink You, to slake my thirst. Relive each nightmare, each hazy memory, and sear You over each one. I need You, Logan. I want You in every crevice, every pore, I want to let the light of Your love blast away the shadows.

I won.

I walked away.

And it feels like I lost, somehow.

It feels as if I have ripped myself open to get away.

And more than anything else, it feels as if Caleb ripped me out by the roots.

Logan descends upon me. Presses his soft warm wet lips to mine and the kiss...

this kiss,

our kiss,