Page 70 of Exile & Lula

Clinging to him, I whimpered, “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared. Someone hurt you two days ago.”

“I’m also in love with Exile.”

“It’s okay to be in love with a guy who loves you back. He does love you, doesn’t he?”

Nodding, I looked up at Pax, who wiped my wet cheeks. “Did you feel guilty for falling in love with Bebe while Little Memphis was going through chaotic changes?”

“I’ve never felt guilty for anything,” Pax insisted, making me snicker. “In fact, I took advantage of your mom and you being in danger, so I could get what I wanted.”

“You made our lives better.”

“Yeah, but I was mostly interested in making my life better. If I got to be selfish and make my life better back then, why shouldn’t you make your life better in a totally unselfish way?”

“But I am selfish.”

“In what way?”

“I’m focused on my feelings for Exile.”

“As compared to what? Like, what would you be doing instead if some other biker saved you two days ago?”

“I’d be hiding at home, I guess.”

“So, what’s really different?”

“I’m happy.”

“Baby, if you were selfishly happy, you wouldn’t be crying over here with me. I think you’re dealing with all the feelings that you’d have been dealing with even if you hadn’t met Exile.”

Pax frowned and paused. Shaking his head, he mumbled, “No, that’s not right. I see how you feel responsible for his sister and those girls. You’re putting inmorework than you would have if you hadn’t met him. What’s to feel guilty about?”

Sighing, I couldn’t argue with his logic. However, I was here, enjoying an impromptu family party while Stevie and Cher were at the hospital. I couldn’t help feeling like I owed the sisters my misery.

Not that I thought Cher and Stevie would want me to suffer. Plus, if the roles were reversed, I certainly wouldn’t want them to feel guilty.

Yet, logic couldn’t act as armor against my guilt or the fear of being out in the open. Pax realized I was still edgy over the growing darkness and corralled people into the house.

After everyone ate, Zodiac followed Clint, Ivy, and Rowdy to the Five Points Lofts. My brother would play host to the Black Rainbow’s president.

Not long afterward, Ford, Shay, Elle, and Sutter walked to their home. Sabrina, Vanessa, Xandy, and Moe took off for the Sorority House.

Eventually, my parents and the foster kids went home. After watching them from the window, I locked everything up for the night.

Dillon waited for me to join her for our nightly chat as she got ready for bed. I heard Nova getting her sleepy girls cleaned up and settled in their room.

Finally, once everything fell silent, I joined Exile in my bedroom. Neither of us spoke. The day had been emotional and exhausting.

Rather than speak, our lips collided as if we’d gone too long without kissing. I held him tight, first as we swayed in the moonlight and then as we washed off the sweat and stress from a long day.

By the time our bodies were pressed together in bed, I broke free from my earlier fears and embraced my good fortune at meeting this incredible man.

EXILE

Waking up next to Lula put me instantly in a good mood. Knowing Nova and the girls were in the same house made me feel even better.

Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I admired Lula resting on her side, facing away from me. My fingers skimmed her arm, where the Crimson Guard tattoo was inked into her soft flesh.