Page 16 of Exile & Lula

Nova rested her hands on her hips and flashed me an exasperated frown. “Dan, say the words. They sit on your tongue, waiting to be heard.”

“I’ve felt strange since I met the woman.”

“Strange like sad?”

“No, something different.”

Nova’s eyes widen as she asked, “Wait, do you have a crush on this woman?”

“No.”

“Is she attractive?”

“Very.”

“I see, I see,” Nova replied and tapped her right temple while pretending to think hard. “Let me put words to your situation. You left home ready to be a hero. You see this hot woman in a bad situation. Rather than acting heroically, you got a boner. Now, you feel guilty. Problem solved.”

“I didn’t get a boner,” I grumbled at her while she snickered and shook her head. “And Iwasheroic. I saved her. I’m her hero.”

“Did she thank you?”

“She did.”

“Wait, maybe the problem is that youdidn’tget a boner. Now, you’re worried you’re gay or impotent. You aren’t good with self-doubt, so you’ve turned mopey. Problem solved.”

While she snickered, I muttered, “Nova.”

“Yes, Dan?” she asked, having never taken a liking to my road name.

“I want this woman.”

“Hence the boner.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. That’s why I’m lowering my voice, so the girls won’t hear about your boy grossness.”

Annoyed by how she mocked my feelings, I walked into the house. I heard Nova telling the girls to behave while she wiped my tears.

“No crying in baseball!” Skylar yelled as she always did when anyone except Lyric and she cried.

“What’s wrong?” Nova asked as I stood in the remodeled galley-style kitchen.

“I don’t know.”

Nova leaned against the counters across from me. She looked so much like our mom when she wore this concerned expression. I really didn’t want to think about Laverne right now.

“Do you have real feelings for this woman?”

“Maybe.”

Nova cocked her head, seeming startled by my honesty. “Because she’s beautiful?”

“No, I think it’s got to be about more than that.”

“Why?”

“I’ve seen beautiful women before. I’ve fucked plenty of them. This isn’t about her good looks.”