Page 56 of Exile & Lula

“Rowdy would get that way if he didn’t see Rock for too long,” I said and then smiled at Exile. “No one else likes to wrestle our brother.”

Feeling my gaze on him, Exile turned to me and offered a tight grin. I wasn’t sure if he was reacting to the traffic or something Sabrina said back at the hospital.

I studied him for a minute before the traffic began to move. Exile’s hard expression wasn’t easy to decipher. He looked angry, making me wonder if he was upset over how we weren’t alone.

Rather than let the issue drop, I analyzed everything I knew about Exile to decipher what might have set him off. Without a doubt, he was feeling guilty over Nova. My sister’s tears made him feel guilty over his own sister’s unhappiness.

When I stroked his bare forearm, Exile became super focused on where I touched him. Something had him overly riled up.

“What’s wrong?” I asked when he frowned at the road as we neared the Sleepy Eye Community.

Exile only shook his head, struggling with a problem he wouldn’t share. I pulled my SUV up to my parents’ house so Vanessa could get out.

“We’ll be over after I let Xena out.”

My sister nodded and held my gaze. “Am I too soft to be a biker?”

“No,” Exile said immediately. “Unless you think I’m too soft to be one.”

Vanessa’s fair blue eyes studied him. “Your poor sister.”

“The Void will be destroyed one day,” Exile promised. “Until then, we can only watch out for each other.”

I heard a deep pain in Exile’s tone. Vanessa nodded at his words and shuffled into our parents’ house. I pulled my SUV down to my place and inside the garage. Turning toward Exile, I exhaled deeply and prepared myself for his potential answer to my next question.

“Do you need to leave for Baton Rouge today?”

“No,” Exile insisted, staring at the wall ahead of us. “Zodiac is watching out for Nova and the girls.”

“Why are you upset?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yes, but these are my people.”

“Don’t you feel even a little bit guilty?”

Exile’s words slammed into me. Tears immediately burned my eyes.

“Should I?”

His hand covered mine. “Not guilty for what happened to Cher and Stevie. That wasn’t your fault.”

“Then what?”

“This thing between us feels selfish. Your people are going through all this stress, and my sister is left alone with the girls.”

“Do you want to back off for now? If you need to ride back to Baton Rouge, I can visit you this weekend. Or you can bring Nova and the girls here.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Exile said, tightening his grip on my hand. “That’s why I feel selfish. I can’t leave you yet. Part of my hesitation is worry over your safety. Another part of me just doesn’t feel like I can be happy if you’re not close by. But I also feel guilty for being happy.”

Cradling his hand, I nodded. “I do feel guilty. Not only for being happy, but that I’m bruised and scraped, while Cher might never be normal again. I feel like it’s unfair, especially since I was the target.”

“But you being the target was why you only got bruised and scraped. They needed you alive for something worse.”

Sighing, I fought my tears. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Do what you’re already doing.”