Page 40 of Everything About You

The recurring theme of me being sad and alone in Paris has become exhausting.

I guess it’s good I’ll be going home then, at the very least. I’ll be sad back home in Citrus Harbor, with the most colossal

failure ever under my belt. Worse than I could have even dreamed up or obsessed about in my worst anxious spirals.

Since Noel and Celeste are on their getaway to Champagne, I’ve got the apartment to myself. I eat a piece of croissant that’s

left over on the counter, definitely from Celeste since Noel would never be so messy, and then fall asleep on the couch.

When I wake up in the morning, it’s bright and sunny and I realize I’ve fully slept through the night with no nightmares or

anxiety at all. Didn’t wake up once.

It’s not exactly a good thing, of course, for lethargy to be setting in so immediately.

One thing I’ve learned is that along with an anxiety disorder, there are bouts of depression here and there.

For me, it mostly presents situationally.

A therapist told me I’m often mildly depressed, when we discussed my moods and symptoms, but I’ve learned that my competitive nature and setting goals are the best way to combat this.

When I’m focused on a goal or achieving something, I’m much more prone to anxiety than depression.

If I don’t hit said goal or fail to achieve said thing. ..

All the brightness outside doesn’t help the colorless torture in my chest. It’s like yearning for anything to light me up, but finding that even yearning requires too much energy.

I’ve so spectacularly failed that I’m not even ashamed to indulge in some of this depression. I mean, I really managed to

screw everything up in a royal way. This trip was a complete bust, it seems, and now there’s no Maison Dauphine in Paris or

New York. Now there’s no Rhodes.

I open my text thread with Rhodes and send him a message.

Me: I’m sorry again. If you decide you want to talk, I’m here

Part of me wants to tell him about my apprenticeship getting terminated, but I think it might come off as attention or sympathy

seeking, which is really not the angle I’m trying to go for.

Fuck, Milo. It’s all so calculated with you. It’s always about angles.

Again, I’m positive I am somewhat of a terrible person.

Am I worse than an antihero, even? Am I just a villain?

All the villains in the big stories are people who are blinded by ambition, driven to do terrible things.

Justifying the means for the end is a villainous trait, and it’s one I think I’ve acquired in Paris.

Worse, what if I have had it all along and I’m really just incredibly unaware of my own character?

I wish this couch could swallow me whole and erase my existence.

That’s how awful I feel about myself right now.

I’ve missed two calls from Haydée, and as I’m panicking over what she could want, she calls again. My finger hovers over the

slider to answer it—do I even want to know? Do I want to face any further humiliation?

The anxiety of not knowing what she has to say wins, however, so I pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Milo.”

There’s a long, drawn-out silence.

“What’s... up?”

Haydée sighs. “Milo, you sound like hell. I’m sorry to hear about what happened. I thought I’d reach out to see if you’re

okay.”

Another long, drawn-out silence.

“Really?”

She scoffs. “Yes. Really. Is that so shocking?”

Well, yes.

Haydée was nice enough mostly, but at times she could be really cold, so I’m a bit surprised she wants anything to do with

me now that I’ve been fired from Maison Dauphine.

“I appreciate you calling,” I say. “I guess I’m okay, yeah. As okay as I can be.”

“We’re all pretty upset,” she says.

I keep pausing. This is a great example of how difficult it can be for me to find words in the English language, let alone

French.

“People are upset? Like, about me?”

“Of course,” Haydée says. “We all liked working with you.”

I sit up straight so fast I almost faint. “You did?”

“Milo, are you quite all right? Are you drunk or something? Tell me you’re not drowning your sorrows alone.”

“No, I’m not drunk. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I guess I didn’t realize people liked working with me.”

Haydée snorts now. “What do you mean ? You were the best. You were on top of everything, and you were always so... what is the word for it? Peppy?”

“I was peppy?”

It’s like I’m hearing her describe someone else entirely.

“You have a great work ethic, and you are very creative,” Haydée says. “I know you must be disappointed. I understand. We

will all miss you, and I know you are going to do wonderful things.”

“That’s really sweet of you,” I say. I’m welling up, but I don’t want to make it weird, so I do my best to swallow it. “I

really needed to hear that, actually. I’ve been beating myself up about everything.”

“It’s not about you, even,” she says. “There’s just a lot of financial liability involved. Leaving the shoot like that...

if any of us had done that, we’d have faced consequences, Milo. Try not to take it too personally.”

Picking at the bouclé of the couch, I poke my tongue in my cheek. “I think I was too competitive. With Rhodes. I cared too

much about getting that spot at the resort show. It’s good he’ll get to work it, but—”

“Rhodes isn’t working the resort show.” Haydée’s voice goes up. “He will be moving back to London, I think. His apprenticeship was terminated too.”

I stand up now, as if doing so might make some difference in how surprising this is. “What?”

“He left the shoot too, Milo. Unacceptable. Like I said, it’s not personal. You see now?”

I groan. “But Haydée, everything... all of this was my fault. Rhodes shouldn’t be fired.”

“This is not the way Yvette sees it,” Haydée says.

“I can’t believe it,” I say. “Rhodes is Maison Dauphine’s darling.... Rosie Hamilton doesn’t know yet, does she?”

Haydée sounds confused. “Rosie?”

“We have to fix this before she finds out. I know how important it was to her that Rhodes worked with Maison Dauphine, and

I know he—”

“Important to Rosie?” Haydée asks. “ Mais non. Between us, she only called in this favor because Louis Vuitton decided they wanted Ollie instead. She did it for Rhodes,

not for her.”

What?

My heart sinks. I was wrong about the whole thing. Rhodes felt like second best to Ollie. Again. And me—a stubborn, headstrong

know-it-all—I went on to presume I knew everything about him.

“I have to talk to Yvette,” I say. “Do you know what her calendar looks like today? I don’t think she’s going to take my calls,

and an email is going to take too long.”

Haydée is hesitating, and I don’t blame her, but then she exhales. “You want me to help you parent trap?”

“Um?”

“It’s a classic setup, non ?” She giggles. “I will do it. Let me look at her calendar.”

She abruptly ends the call, and as I sit in silence waiting for her to get back to me, I feel even more terrible for how things

went down.

All of my previous thinking about being a villain is reinforced. Not only was I totally wrong about why Rhodes was at Maison

Dauphine, but he was taking himself out of the competition for the resort show, and now, because of me, he’s lost the entire

apprenticeship.

I have got to fix things quickly. I’m still hoping I can get to Yvette before Rhodes’s family finds out. I’d imagine he is

putting off telling them—at least, it wouldn’t be the first thing he would want to do. So there’s a chance this could all

be contained. It might be a stretch, but I’m willing to do my best even if the odds are low.

Noel sends me a text with a screenshot of a Daily Mirror article. There’s a photo of Ollie in his red Armoury United kit, holding up a fist and cheering. I click into the screen

grab.

For He’s an Ollie Good Fellow!

Ollie Hamilton makes a dashing impression with his first philanthropic appearance as a member of Armoury United Football Club

of North London.

Hamilton, 19, might be familiar to you as the son of Liam Hamilton—endearingly referred to as Left Boot Liam by football fans

around the world. One of a talented pair, Ollie’s twin brother, Rhodes, has been making headlines for his apprentice work

in Paris with luxury fashion brand Maison Dauphine.

Yet to debut for Armoury, Ollie has captured the attention and hearts of millions across the globe on social media. Concurrent

with the announcement of his signing with the club following an impressive run with the academy, Ollie took to Instagram with

a moving photo of him with Liam and Rhodes when the twins were in primary school.

“Armoury United is my entire life,” his caption read. “It’s my being, really. It might be cliché to say it’s not just a club,

but it’s the truth. Armoury means everything to me and to my family, and I’m glad to have a place where I belong.”

And belong he does. Pundits have predicted Ollie will be a welcome and lively addition to the club. Preorders for the yet-to-be-revealed

2025 kit with his name on it have already sold out. Some social media users have pointed out that having a Hamilton back with

Armoury United could have a number of overwhelmingly positive financial effects on the club, which has already seen record

attendance and finished third in the league last season.

“Ollie Hamilton’s going to change the game,” wrote one user. “This’ll be the best thing to happen to our boys in years.”

Below that quote, Ollie’s previously mentioned Instagram post is embedded. The photo shows two little blond boys in slightly oversized Armoury kits on either side of their father, whose face is instantly recognizable.

My heart sinks even further, wondering if Rhodes has seen this.

Armoury means everything to me and to my family.

Noel: Christ. That title. And this is just the beginning. It’s about to be all Ollie, all the time, once he debuts

Haydée calls back before I’m able to respond to Noel. I rush to answer, nearly knocking over the vase of flowers Rhodes bought

for Celeste.

“Yvette’s calendar is private all day,” she says wistfully.

I throw my head back. “Great.”

“But,” she sings, “I called her driver and I know where she will be.”

“That’s genius!” Haydée responds well to praise and affirmation, though it’s much more effective coming from Yvette or the

leadership team. I can practically imagine her beaming on the other end. “So? Where will she be?”

“She is having lunch with Pascal shortly, which is really your only chance. Otherwise, all private appointments that I don’t

think would work.”

Lunch with Pascal?

“Are you sure there isn’t another opening? Maybe I can try to stop her between meetings. I don’t think ambushing her lunch

with Pascal will go too well....”

She clicks her tongue against her teeth. “ Non. There is no other time. Perhaps you can pretend it is a coincidence?”

“I’m sure she’d believe I’m dining wherever she and Pascal are going.” The sarcasm isn’t intended for Haydée, so I apologize. “Okay, if this is it, then I’ll have to just make it work. Where are they going?”

“Le Relais Plaza,” she says. “At the Plaza Athénée. It is only just down the street from the office.”

I gape. “The Plaza Athénée? Is there a dress code? I don’t know if I even have anything nice enough for that.”

“Just wear something smart,” she suggests. “Like trousers and a jacket.” After a pause: “What exactly is your plan here?”

Now it seems like good news that Noel and Celeste are in Champagne. There’s nobody around to tell me this is certifiably nuts.

Nobody around to try and talk me out of it.

“I’m going to walk into Le Relais Plaza, and I’m going to talk to Yvette.”

Haydée laughs. “ D’accord , Milo. Welcome back.”