Page 3

Heart’s Desire

Earlier…

R yder heard Grayson dressing in the bathroom.

He lingered by the fire, eyelids shutting, as he imagined ignoring Balthazar and Caemorn and Lawson and going into that bathroom and kissing Grayson.

Undressing Grayson. Pulling Grayson into the walk-in shower.

Sliding his hands over Grayson’s slick, warm skin.

Drawing his tongue along Grayson’s throat and down to his nipples as he chased shower water.

His cock stirred and his fangs ached.

Ryder, Balthazar’s droll voice echoed in his mind, Lawson is still in Nightvallen. What are you going to do about that?

Ryder grimaced. Any faint hope he’d had that Lawson would go of his own accord before Ryder had to see him died a swift death.

He will go , Ryder said simply .

Will he? Maybe if you give him the old heave ho he will, but otherwise? Balthazar mentally shook his head.

Ryder gritted his teeth. Do you want there to be a fight between Lawson and myself about the leadership of the Weryn? Don’t you have enough to do managing the school?

He wondered, for a moment, whether Balthazar would say anything about how he had taken control of the Eyros when Daemon had confirmed what all had already known: that he was Eyros reborn.

And that maybe Ryder should do the same?

But could he compare their circumstances?

Daemon had not called him by Weryn’s name.

No. He was just Ryder. That’s all. That’s it.

I’m not the one who's making this necessary, Balthazar retorted. Who attacked Grayson last night? Me or… hmm, who was it? I can’t quite recall.

Ryder fisted his hands. He–

You are NOT going to excuse Lawson’s behavior, are you? Balthazar sounded outraged and Ryder half expected the Eyros Vampire to storm into the bedroom.

No, I just… he… He doesn’t understand! Ryder heard the cry of a Childe in his own voice.

He expected Balthazar to mock him, but he did not. Instead, he sounded like he understood and he sounded tired , too.

I know, Balthazar’s voice was low. I understand wanting a Master who is… different. But hurting Grayson was not about misunderstanding anything, Ryder. You know that.

He was made by Legion. Sometimes he… he doesn’t… he’s not himself, Ryder said lamely.

He didn’t even believe this! And he’d been ready to give Lawson a Second Death himself if Grayson hadn’t already taken him down the other night!

But it was always like this. As time and distance lessened the wrong, Ryder started to forgive even though Lawson never really asked for it.

And things would be good for a time, but then they would slip back into what they really were.

And you were made by him and I was made by Roan Tithe! Balthazar challenged. But I know that neither of us would do as Lawson did to Grayson. I want you to think very hard, Ryder. If Grayson did not have the powers he did, what would Lawson have done to him?

Ryder’s head lowered and his chest felt tight. He couldn’t imagine Grayson being hurt. But Grayson had been hurt by others over his young life. Would Ryder let that continue now?

I know. I don’t understand why Lawson did that, Ryder said, even as he did.

He sees Grayson as a threat. Grayson is taking you away from him and what he wants for the Weryn, Balthazar’s tone was surprisingly patient.

I want the same thing for the Weryn that he does! Ryder shouted, standing up from the couch.

Do you? Balthazar challenged.

Yes! I--

You might be clear in what you believe, but is it the same as what Lawson believes? Balthazar pushed back. What he really believes, not the pablum he feeds the Bloodline?

If you know something I don’t--

I know much you don’t. But it doesn’t matter what I know, because it’s all about what you believe, Balthazar said.

I just want the truth!

Then here is a bit of truth for you, Balthazar said, any other Vampire would have been punished by me and Caemorn for such actions. The punishment would be severe. But…

But?

King Daemon wants to give you this opportunity to clean up your own Bloodline, Balthazar said grimly as if he didn’t altogether agree with the Vampire King’s decision.

My Bloodline? Ryder asked softly.

The words he’d imagined being spoken as he had drunk from Grayson’s blood fluttered to the surface of his mind:

“We did fly together. ”

“Yes, we did. And we shall again. ”

Fix this mess, Ryder. Don’t fail our king or Grayson, Balthazar said and shut their conversation down as easily as slamming a door closed.

The silence in Ryder’s head should have been soothing, but it wasn’t. He felt frustrated as if he still wanted to argue with Balthazar some more. But he couldn’t win that fight.

He knew the Eyros Vampire was right. Being with Grayson had replaced his anger at Lawson with pleasure of the young man’s company.

It had dimmed the awfulness of Lawson’s behavior, but now, as he heard Grayson brushing his teeth, his spine straightened.

He would not fail Grayson. He would keep the young man safe.

Soon, Grayson would be out here and he’d see the young man’s lithe body, glimpse his smile, smell his scent, want to hold and stroke and kiss him. He wouldn’t be able to let Grayson go if he stayed. And he had to go. He had to end this thing with Lawson.

He pulled on his clothes and stuffed his feet into his boots.

He paused at the doorway out of Grayson’s rooms and looked down the hallway to where the young man was.

He couldn’t leave without letting Grayson know he would be back.

He went to the desk and grabbed a pen and paper, writing a brief note that he hoped would convey more than the spare words did.

And then he was out the door, chest tight, spine straight.

He strode out to the common room, intent on not speaking to anyone there.

Grayson’s roommates were unknown quantities and he did not think Grayson wanted their curiosity satisfied.

Thankfully, it was only Eiji and Amara and not the incorrigible Mairead present to see him go.

Amara lifted her eyebrows, but gave him a tight smile.

Eiji wished him a “good evening”. He found the older Japanese man interesting as he seemed more than he appeared though Ryder could not quite figure out what that was.

Balthazar was poking around the pool table, but he made no similar greeting, not even telepathically, ignoring Ryder altogether.

Ryder felt a stab of shame. Balthazar was right to be disgusted with him.

He was himself. This pattern he’d gotten into with Lawson--one that Demos had pointed out time and time again--had led to Grayson nearly being hurt. He had to stop it.

Caemorn was by the door and blocked his way out with a hand.

“What do you want, Kaly?” Ryder asked grimly.

Caemorn’s voice was soft, but definite as he said, “Do not see the Master you wish to see. See the one you have. It’ll make things easier.”

Ryder blinked. Was Caemorn giving him advice? Was he sympathetic? A Kaly-- the Kaly--sound like he understood what Ryder was going through. He didn’t know how to react. Caemorn then opened the door for him and gestured for him to leave. Ryder did so without saying anything.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and moved swiftly towards the Weryn house. His mind was strangely blank. Lawson was still there. A wonderful night had just meant a delay. He needed to deal with his Master, had to address what he hadn’t for years, decades, centuries , and do it now .

My Bloodline? Is it my Bloodline?

If it was--if he was Weryn reborn--then even if Grayson was Ashyr reborn he had a chance for… for what? What did he want? Grayson did not wish to be a Vampire.

Supposedly. But couldn’t his mind be changed? Ryder’s heart leaped at this. Perhaps right now he is rejecting us because he fears we will reject him as he has been all his life. But it doesn’t matter. I can’t have him… We swore not to participate in the school.

And while Grayson was not really a student, he would be seen as such.

This is a mess.

Demos was waiting for Ryder outside of the Weryn house, pacing like the black panther that was his animal form. But he was very much in his human one at that moment, clad in leather and spikes.

Evidently, things are getting messier.

Demos’ silver eyes widened upon seeing Ryder and his Blood Brother hurried over to him. Demos put a hand on the center of Ryder’s chest to stop him from continuing on inside.

“Brother, we have a problem,” Demos told him. “Listen.”

Ryder looked past him to the Weryn house. The door inside and one to the courtyard was open. His enhanced hearing kicked in.

“... is Ryder with us on not taking fledglings from the school, Lawson?” One of the older Weryn Vampires, Harlan, was asking. “Last eve, he seemed to have already found one.”

Ryder felt a stab of guilt, even as he tried to tell himself that things with Grayson were just for fun, just temporary, and that--even if wanted Grayson as a fledgling--it would lead to nothing.

Yet his heart had already betrayed him. And Harlan always saw beneath the surface of things.

He was an old hunter with a silver wolf form with notches in its ears.

He looked to be in his sixties in human form with dark skin the color of polished walnut.

He was not Ryder’s greatest fan. But he wasn’t Lawson’s either. So his words had weight.

“Something happened with that human coming to the school,” Natasha spoke up.

She’d evidently heard rumors of Grayson’s eventful coming, but did she know more? Surely, Lawson had told her about what the young man had done to him! Or maybe not.

Lawson needed the appearance of strength at all times, but especially now with Daemon challenging Weryn tradition.

That a human could best him--no matter his powers--would truly make Lawson look like an unworthy leader.

Unworthiness should not be determined by that, but Ryder knew that’s how it was.