Page 27 of Eternal Light

But while it might be Gideon’s first show of doubt, it wasn’t Jay’s.

He’d been through it all—over and over again—from one side to the other.

And this was still their best option.

“Gideon, this is a good plan. Our only plan. Best-case scenario is Carnell walks up to us and asks to talk. Yeah?”

Worst-case scenario is Carnell grabs him off the street and tortures him until Gideon does whatever Carnell has planned.

Not that Jay wanted to talk about that.

Still, maybe Jay should hear him out. Throwing himself in front of the fire didn’t have to mean he would drag Gideon along with him.

“Are you having regrets?”

“Would it matter if I were?” Gideon grunts, and merges onto the highway.

Yes, but not for me,Jay thinks, but says, “He’s not going to pass this opportunity up. The two of us? The visit to the station has been all over the news, and Phoenix Records and LRH socials have been plastered with the itinerary. But I could do this alo—” He swallows.This has to work.

“Stop right there. This is our best chance at finishing this today. It’s not just on you—you know that, right?”

Gideon doesn’t say it. Doesn’t tell him it’s the way they’ve done everything for the last two years and how they’ll do things in this life and the next. Together.

He’s not done, though. “But I am going on record right now in saying that if I have to listen to Leo tell meI told you soover your dead body, I’m going to be very. Put. Out.”

It’s gallows humor, and Jay laughs—as he should.

“Ditto, love.”

Jay forces a smile past the lump in his throat, in preparation for the one he’ll be wearing all afternoon. It’s not hard to slip his “on” face into place over the gnawing worry and the tingling sensation of impending doom.

“Let’s get in, talk to the sick kids, do the interview, and hopefully meet Carnell for a nice, long talk about being reasonable.”

It’s Gideon’s turn to laugh. “He couldn’t find reasonable with both hands and a mirror the size of the Goddess’s full moon.”

“We can always hope?”

Jay flips the visor down, Luca’s handiwork reflecting at him—his wavy hair in artful disarray, every trace of exhaustion concealed. Nix and Rowan had whistled at him, making raunchy comments the entire time. The little shits.

He smirks at the memory but doesn’t touch his hair. No need to mess with Luca’s perfection.

“You look hot. Don’t fuck with your hair. I like it long.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” Jay growls, with a smirk and a wink.

“Fuck off. If you give me a hard-on before we meet the kids, I am going to beat your ass.”

“Oh, I doubt that. Wrong audience, love. But I’d let you beat something else—if you’re super nice to me.”

Gideon sticks his tongue out and rolls his eyes. “If we survive today, I will blow your mind tonight. Deal?”

“Deal. That’s what I call incentive.”

It isn’t as if Gideon hasn’t done so before, or wouldn’t anyway—but the light-hearted banter has gone a long way to return Jay to his previous state of—if not calm, exactly, then resigned acceptance.

“What’s our ETA?”

“Right on time. Five minutes, by my estimate.”