Page 156 of Eternal Light

Why that sounds like he’s disappointed, he cannot fathom.

Nix doesn’t let him get away with it, either.

“It’ll be good to be home. See Tsuki and the cats. But you don’t sound like you’re excited. Is it that you’ll be back on the antihistamine regimen?”

“Ha fucking ha, you shit. You mock my pain,” he says in his best imitation of Buttercup, while he tickles his giggling mate.

“Stop! You’ll make me pee!” Nix gasps between giggles, finally digging his fingers into Leo’s thigh to squeeze Leo’s most ticklish spot.

“Fine, fine!” Leo laughs, rubbing his nose in Nix’s hair, relishing the scent of spiced rum and pine.

“Be nice.”

He goes from silly to serious in the next instant. The sunrise is pink and mauve, and somehow turns the sea a dark bluish-green while he watches.

“I like it here.”

Nix stills before turning so he can better see Leo’s face. “Even though it’s been fucking awful sometimes, we’ve been together. Just together.”

“How do you do that? Are you a mind reader now for more than just Finn?”

Nix shakes his head.

“Nope. Still just me and Dr. Merritt conspiring for world domination.”

“Ha, you could, too. Rule the world, I mean,” Leo says seriously, his expression uncharacteristically somber.

Seeing Nix filled with the Goddess’s power—wielding it not to conquer, but to heal a wound that had plagued millions, not justin this timeline but likely in every timeline—was nothing short of life-altering.

It left Leo awestruck. If anyone could change the world, it was Nix. He had changed Leo’s in so many ways.

“Nah. I’m just me,” Nix says before pausing. “We’re all a little different from our time here. Not just me, right?”

He catches Leo’s eye, offering up his most encouraging smile.

And that’s what has Leo up at night—what’s been occupying his mind since that night on the patio.

It’s what has him reluctant to head back into the real world at this moment in time.

They are all changed.

Transformed.

Not like Rowan has been, who wears his transformation in the most literal outward—awesome as fuck—sense.

But down to the basic level, their dynamic has been changed.

He’s afraid that the confident, calm Jay he’s discovered in the last few days will disappear into his studio.

Or that Gideon will take up another cause in the name of protecting their pack.

That Grayson’s new life of magic will consume him and leave little time for them at home, when here, he’s been connected and a fully rendered version of his most incredible self.

Or that Rowan will spend more and more time in his instinctual form, buried under fur and poor manners to avoid the other stressors, forgetting that Leo likes—needs—his strong arms around him at night.

Or that Finn will spend more and more time healing others and forget Leo needs his healing words and touch at home while they endure horror movies when it’s Gideon’s turn to choose.

He feels selfish for thinking it, especially given the words he’d heard whispered in his head before Nix-Goddess had collapsed in Jay’s sturdy hold.