Page 16 of Eternal Light (Fated in the Stars #5)

The Moon Remains (Nix)

There are a hundred reasons why Nix should let Rowan and Luca distract him with sex.

Let Luca kiss his freckles one by one and lick the slick from his body like it’s the sweetest ambrosia.

He could beg Rowan to hold him up with his strong arms, to sink his perfect cock in so deep that Nix would be feeling him there for days.

Nix feels a responding burn in his belly and clenches his thighs at the thought of those perfectly good reasons—but then he remembers how Jamie had pulled him into a hug and whispered how much he loved him.

How he had held Nix’s face in his hands before kissing him softly, how he’d met his eyes one last time before pulling the door shut.

And for just a second, Nix had thought: that felt like goodbye.

It had made the last time Jamie had left him like this flash through his mind before Nix forced it away, burying it under the new memory of Gideon’s warm hands and his repeated reassurances that everything would be fine.

They felt like platitudes now that they’re gone. And the more Nix thinks about it, the more it feels like he should be spending this time worrying—not showing Rowan how Luca has been helping him train out his gag reflex.

Nix has recently tried to settle into a distract-rather-than-deny coping mechanism, something his therapist and Luca talk about as being a useful tool in a broad mental health toolbox.

But this doesn’t feel like the time for that.

So, instead of joining his loud and enthusiastic mates in the nest, Nix sat in the bathtub. And instead of enjoying a post-coital cuddle an hour after Grayson had taken his guardians to The Guild, he’s in the kitchen, wishing he had stuff to stress-bake some brownies.

After a thorough search of the fridge and the cabinets, he discovers they have flour and sugar, eggs and butter, but Nix’s mom’s recipe calls for instant coffee and real chocolate.

He could make do, but they wouldn’t be the same—wouldn’t feel the same.

The comfort comes from the ritual as much as the final product.

Remembering his mom wouldn’t work if it didn’t include the sharp bite of coffee or sneaking crumbs of dark, unsweetened chocolate.

Sadly, neither ingredient is a staple on the Safe-House Shopping List for Stressed-Out Bakers.

Maybe he could try chocolate chip cookies. They’re Jamie’s favorites—and suddenly he’s thinking about Jamie and Gideon again. Pulling the small bag of chocolate chips out of the cupboard, he shrugs and pops a few in his mouth. Close enough.

Rowan probably won’t notice if he eats these without the requisite sniffing and offering—especially since the noise from the bedroom is reaching its loud and satisfying climax.

Sigh.

At least someone is happy—the babies love chocolate.

How he knows that, he can’t say, but they’re good girls that way.

His bouts of nausea have faded almost entirely now, and he’s almost into his seventeenth…

or is it eighteenth week? They’re active, and while one rocks and rolls through the daylight hours, the other likes to wake him up in the middle of the night.

He’s getting the hang of sleeping through those parts, and he sure hopes she lets them sleep when she’s on this side, too.

Still, they’re calm while Nix lets the smooth chocolate melt on his tongue as he tunes into his mates’ bonds.

It’s not the same as baking his mother’s brownies, but the familiar taste helps settle him.

He can feel Jamie’s bond burning brightly—whatever he’s doing is filling his mate’s metaphorical bucket.

Probably the interview with the Make-A-Wish kids.

It’s so like him to make time for the children while trying to lure their arch-nemesis out of hiding.

It’s also so like him to take an insane sacrifice to the nth level, but at least Gideon is there to pull him back from the edge of actually following Carnell off a roof—or into the pits of hell.

Gideon’s is glowing happily, too. Nix isn’t at all surprised that Gideon enjoys being with the kids. Despite his unvocalized but obvious concerns about parenting, he’s going to be the best father.

He’d seemed slightly less confident in the plan this morning than he had yesterday, and that meant everyone was off.

Luca, especially, hadn’t wanted them to go, but Rowan’s firm grip and aroused scent had been irresistible, and the two of them had been in the nest ever since.

Normally, it would have been a siren’s call for Nix, too, but today it doesn’t feel right.

There. He said it.

Maybe it’s that Grayson is exactly fifteen miles northwest, and every so often Nix can tell he’s drawing on The Plain. Not in huge waves, but in smaller pulses. When Nix looks inwards, all the bonds are ebbing and surging in slightly brighter ways than usual. It’s fascinating and very distracting.

Nix slides to his butt on the kitchen floor, the bag of chocolate chips forgotten beside him as he watches Grayson’s rose-colored bond swirl and dance.

It seems to direct the others sometimes, moving them around like he imagines an Australian Sheepdog would do to a herd of sheep, with nudges and pokes.

He must have lost time, because just as Grayson’s rose bond dims to its usual level, Luca pops his head over the kitchen island. “Hey, baby. Did you fall on your bum, chum?”

His gorgeous, fluffy hair is standing up in a hundred different directions, and there may be cum in it à la Something About Mary . He’s got teeth marks on his throat and pecs, and probably some other places Nix can’t see because of the countertop. “I’m good.”

Luca raises an eyebrow and comes around the counter so he can get a bottle of water. Yup, more bite marks on the insides of his soft, golden thighs, and a big purpling one on his butt cheek.

“Really? You turned down sex with me and Ro to eat chocolate chips on the cold floor. That is not screaming ‘good.’”

Nix shakes his head. “You’re right. I’m feeling off.”

Cracking the top of the water bottle, Luca drinks deeply and then grabs a tea towel from the rack so he can lay it on the floor beside Nix. Sitting down on it, he grabs the bag of chocolate chips, tips it into his mouth, and asks with a mouth full of chocolate, “Is it the babies?”

Nix can’t lie—or at least not convincingly—to Luca. With a small shake of his head, he sighs, “I’m worried about Jamie and Gideon. And Gray is using magic—”

“Oh, my goddess! Are you okay?!” Luca yelps, jumping up to grab the burner phone off the counter before flopping down again and opening the app. “You look okay…they look okay.”

He flips through the rest of the pack and hums to himself when he gets to Grayson’s, before closing it out and setting the phone back on the floor beside him.

“I’m good. Now that I know what it feels like when he’s blocking it off—when he does use it…it feels weirdly good?” He feels great, in fact. When Grayson is happy, Nix is happy. Their soul is brimming with power that’s both energizing and draining in turns.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“No, and it didn’t before. Just like…” Nix thinks for a minute for the best metaphor.

“It’s like our soul is a battery, you know?

He draws on it, and then I need to recharge it.

Not pain…just energy,” Nix says, taking the chocolate chip bag from Luca to tip it over his own open mouth.

Luca is definitely on to something there.

“That makes sense. It’s cool. So, it’s just Jay and Gideon being gone—and Gray’s magic—that are bugging you?”

What should Nix say? That he has a creeping sense of dread? That there’s a voice in his head whispering that things are going to go for shit? No. Nix knows this is 100% his anxiety talking, and he, for one, is done listening.

“I wish we could bake brownies,” he blurts out instead of the anxious tirade that had been on the tip of his tongue.

“Your brownies?” Luca goes to his knees in excitement. There’s a swirl of sex-sweet scent, Luca’s mocha almost entirely overrun by Rowan’s alpha spiced rum.

“Yeah, but we don’t have the stuff.”

“The market is right across the street. We could be there and back, and have warm brownies with vanilla ice cream for everyone when they get back.”

“Luc. We shouldn’t leave. Gideon told us to stay put, and I, for one, want to keep enjoying my spankings.” Just thinking about leaving the apartment makes that feeling of dread surge to new levels.

Luca sighs. “Yeah. I promised him I would watch out for you and Rowan, and leaving will make him super mad.”

No doubt. Nix doesn’t even want to imagine how that would go for any of them if they disobeyed a direct request from an already protective Gideon. They should stay where they promised they’d be—behind Nimue’s protections.

“Hey, where’s Ro?”

“Right here. What are you two conspiring about now?” Rowan opens the fridge door to grab a canned cold brew coffee. Nose in the air, he notices the chocolate chips straight away. “Hey, did you eat those?” He points to the open bag on the floor with a frown.

“Uh…” Nix waffles. “What’s the right answer here?”

Rowan scowls. “That’s not nice.”

“Sorry, Ro, but a man’s gotta feed his children.”

“Yes, he does. My children. We had a deal, Nix. Next time, just tell me. I’ll stop whatever I’m doing and get you something.”

“Excuse me, Rowan Foster? I am a whoever , not a whatever. And you were begging me not to stop only thirty minutes ago.”

Rowan rolls his eyes so hard it looks like it might hurt. “You know what I meant. It’s my privilege to do this. Please.”

Aw, look at his baby daddy being all sincere and shit.

“Sorry, Ro. Next time, I’ll shout out, ‘I’m eating,’ and you can decide,” Nix soothes, getting up to hug his shower-fresh mate. He really does feel bad for letting anxiety win over his promise to Rowan.

“Better yet, be in bed with us next time, and I’ll feed you whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” Nix presses his belly against the front of Rowan’s sweats.