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So I said what I was feeling instead. “I support you and I’ll help however I can, but I hope you’ll listen to me if I see it hurting you instead of helping, okay?”

“Deal,” she agreed, rubbing her face against my hand. “Yeah, that’s—thanks, Ha-joon. I think that’s exactly what I needed. A chance to do this but a fallback—no, a warning system or someone to pull the emergency brake.”

“Yeah, exactly that.” I swallowed loudly when sadness filled my nose instead of relief or comfort. It was like she was down on herself that she was planning for her idea to fail.

That was the last thing I wanted. It was simply smart to plan for difficult outcomes when things were crazy.

“So not to be a cad, but can we talk about that promise you made?” I hedged as I leaned in and ran my nose against her cheek.

“What promise?” she asked, snapping out of her thoughts as she moved her hand to my chest.

“That one involving lingerie shopping. How about we get your laptop out and start looking?”

“We could do that,” she chuckled.

“I would have to size you first, right?” I asked as I slid my hand under her pretty, professional sweater. “Really get a feel for how everything should fit and feel against you.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Dr. Clark?” she teased.

“I’m not doing it right if you have to ask,” I grumbled and pulled off her sweater before she realized what was going on. She had a sleeveless shell on underneath that was see-through. I licked my lips and met her gaze. “I definitely need to see more than that. Probably everything.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” she agreed, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. She slid off the counter, forcing me to move back and give her room.

I went rock hard as she stripped for me right there in her kitchen and then took the clip out of her hair so it gorgeously fell all around her. “Shit, Ellie, you’re just winding me up.”

“I love when you’re wound up and dying to pounce on me, my Alpha.”

And she wanted to think about anything other than what was bothering her. It was all over her face and my wolf could sense it.

“I’m hungry for my lover’s cunt,” I growled. “Get on the counter and beg me to eat you.”

She moaned and did as I wanted. I feasted on her again and again until she begged me to fuck her already.

“How do you want it?” I asked her, unsure how to behave. Maybe she wanted sweet after being so upset or she wanted to be completely enthralled with lust and… Hell if I knew the mind of a woman even if I loved her.

She pushed up on her elbows and swallowed loudly. “However you think is best. I mean, now that we’re official and done with the contract, right?”

“Really?” I whispered, thrilled beyond words. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure that you mean a lot more to me than I would have thought possible and everything is better with you around,” she said quietly. “There’s still more you don’t know and it’s complicated but…”

“But?”

She stared at my chest. “This isn’t casual or just fun anymore, and we’re kidding ourselves if we say it is or just some contract. We both know it’s more.”

“It’s more,” I agreed. I pulled her to sit up and kissed her deeply. “My answer is whatever you want, my partner. What do you need tonight, Ellie? Let me give you what you need just like you’ll give me as a partner should.”

She kissed my neck. “I don’t know what I need and I’m not playing games. I just want you—to get lost in you and feel—to feel.”

Because all of the crazy and pain was making her feel numb.

She flinched and leaned away, searching my eyes. “This is real for you too, right? You’re not just saying that because you’re worried about me or I’m upset?”

I burst out laughing, keeping her where she was when she moved like she was going to pull away.

I growled and leaned over her, holding her where I wanted by fisting her hair and kissing her.

Then I stared into her gorgeous golden eyes.

“I laughed because I would scare you if I told you my true feelings, Ellie. Yeah, this is serious for me.”

Shock rocked me when she looked around me like witches did when they checked auras. What—could she see them? I’d never seen her look like that before.

She seemed small and scared when she met my eyes again. “I don’t—please don’t say that just because I’m—”

“I told my parents that I plan to mate you,” I confessed bluntly. “That my wolf wants to mate you and I want you to be ours.”

Her mouth fell open and she was so shocked I wondered for a moment if she was breathing. “Oh.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, so—I would never placate you on something this important.” I was trying not to sound angry, but it was hard when she was accusing me of something that harsh.

Ellie flinched and looked properly chastised.

“Sorry.” She cupped my face. “I’m really sorry.

Yeah, that was horrible. I just—I’m all over and then I feel okay and like I’ve got it handled and then it just hits me hard like she’s here or he’s locked up and I spin out.

And then I—did you really tell them that? ”

“Yes.” I let out a slow breath when she just blinked at me. “You’re not ready, but when you are there are words I want to say to you. I’m that serious.”

“Yeah, I didn’t expect that either,” she whispered.

“I was just hoping that yeah, this was definitely more than sex and not like—yeah, of course you wouldn’t out us at work if it was just sex.

I think I’m feeling the same for you which I can’t believe after Tommy and never feeling that, but then it’s all confusing—please shut me up. ”

It took me a moment to catch up with all of that, but then I kissed her.

“Do with me what you want,” she begged when we came up for air. “I want you desperate and crazy for me. That’s what I want.”

“Then get on your knees and feed from me while you suck me off,” I growled against her lips. “You know that drives me fucking wild.”

She nodded furiously and did as I asked the moment I set her on her feet. I lost my fucking mind and played with her hair as she rocked my world with her mouth. Then she fed from me, and it was like being on another plane more than just amazing.

When she giggled from the high my blood gave her, I carried her to her bed and didn’t hold back. I mounted her and fucked her with all I had.

I tangled my fingers in her gorgeous light brown hair and pulled her up to her knees at one point, pressing my lips to her ear and saying what I’d been dying to.

“You will be my mate one day, Ellie. I will claim you as mine and I will be yours. One day as far in the future as you want, but one day.”

She came. I didn’t think it was her being excited at hearing it and wanting the same but more I was so wound up and even my power dripping all over her.

But she did beg for more, so clearly she wanted me that out of control. I gave it to her. I gave her everything I had to give and then some. I completely wore myself out sating her every need and both of our desires.

She was completely done when I finished the last time, unable to keep her eyes open then. She mumbled something about there being worse fates than being my mate before she passed out. I took it as a win and snuggled up to her so my heart could chill out a bit before cleaning us both up.

Then I remembered what Mum had said and sent Ha-yun a message to apologize.

I was surprised at the immediate reply forgiving me and saying she wished she’d pushed harder later when she was older so Mum understood better instead of carrying the hurt she did from being a kid. I was shocked she opened up to me.

I took it as a sign and said I felt the same sometimes, that I wanted to stop carrying that hurt and just move forward. But also sometimes it felt like if I didn’t handle things how I should then I would never actually move forward and simply repeat the same mistakes.

She agreed and said she felt like she was trapped in the same cycle and didn’t know how to break out of it.

“What’s got you so confused and with smoke coming out of your ears?” Ellie quietly asked.

I jumped, almost dropping my phone. I chuckled when she narrowed her eyes at me like I was acting guilty. “You were seriously out, and I didn’t hear you stir.”

“You were laser-focused on whatever conversation you’re having,” she commented, her voice neutral, but my nose was picking up anything but neutral .

I turned it around and showed her. “I apologized to Ha-yun like I told Mum and she’s replying, being open with me. Part of me wants to like pinch myself or check that her phone wasn’t stolen. I don’t know she ever responds to my texts besides with basic information and certainly not like this.”

She glanced at it quickly and nodded. “And part of you wants to help because she’s your sister, but also you’re not there with her yet.”

“Yes, but also I’m not sure I ever want to be there,” I admitted, clicking my phone and setting it on the nightstand.

I moved over to her and snuggled under the covers.

“We can do business and I prefer us all be civil, but I don’t know I can ever be like real siblings with them.

Even if she never came at me or wasn’t as bad as the others, she was… ”

“That doesn’t make you a bad person,” she promised, moving a bit so I was snuggling up to her breast. I wasn’t sure why she did that until she started playing with my hair.

Comforting me. I was such a selfish git. She was going through several layers of hell and I was whining about my shit to the point where she wanted to comfort me.

But still, I wanted the comfort and reassurance that I wasn’t being a git. It was hard to know what was the right thing to do when it came to family.

To life even.

A few minutes of her playing with my hair and I realized something. “I’ve never understood how I always read or saw that women loved this or even women I’ve been with. It seemed silly and no one ever played with mine or like this.”

“Really? Your hair is so nice it makes me itch to play with it,” she murmured, sounding sleepy again.

“It feels so good that I would tell you anything,” I confessed. “Seriously, keep doing that and I’ll tell you all my secrets. My bank passwords. My email login. Whatever you want.”

She chuckled and then buried her face against my hair, hugging my head but also smothering her tits against me.

“You go from wild animal fuck machine to docile pup wanting to be pet within such a short span that I honestly just can’t—oh shit, life is so much better with you in it.

I can’t even joke anymore that it’s the food your mom gives me. ”

“Glad it’s more than sex,” I said when she kept laughing.

“Yeah, more than sex though I’ve never, not ever had better than sex with you in my many, many years,” she admitted as she settled down. “Honestly, if I had known sex with an Alpha shifter was this amazing and wild, I would—”

I flipped us so she was pinned under me. “And that’s about the time you learn tact and shut it, yeah?” I raised an eyebrow when she frowned. “You want me to ramble on that I should have gotten blow jobs from vamps sooner so I knew feeding there was—”

“Point made,” she agreed, nodding that she got it. “Sorry. I profusely apologize and you’re not being a brat. You’re right and that was tactless in afterglow time. I’m still a bit all over and not thinking.”

I gave her a smacking kiss. “Apology accepted. Are we snuggling, being productive, or another round—”

“I’m spent for the day. You wore me out.”

“I was going to say food,” I chuckled, wiggling my eyebrows at her that she admitted I’d sated her. Yeah, I was a git for enjoying that.

But I was a git who was in a real relationship with the woman he loved and I hadn’t seen that coming. I was fucking over the moon about it, and she could beat me later if she wanted.

All the time even as long as she stayed with me.