Page 130 of Elite Connections: an LGBTQ Romance Charity Anthology

Pulse racing,Connor stood at the edge of the pool and inhaled, attempting to calm his shakiness. I can’t believe it’s him, of all people.

Kellan Rhodes.

The one parent he’d been willing to leap across the line for. Early in his career, he’d dated a dad and it had turned out badly. Caused him to quit a spot in a great school district and move to a new city. So, he’d made the rule. He loved working at the Academy. The private school paid better than public, which still wasn’t much, but he didn’t want to lose that or the benefits that came along with it, so following that rule had been easy.

Until Kellan Rhodes.

He dove into the warm water. While waiting, Connor took another lap to give him something to focus on besides the growing anticipation.

By the fourth lap, he grew worried. Glancing at the door, he feared the man wouldn’t show. Doubts slowly crept in. After one more lap, he gave up. The sun was setting, and the air outside the pool grew colder. He waded toward the steps, but as he placed his foot on the first one, the door swung open. Kellan emerged, a huge fluffy robe tucked tightly around him.

Connor grinned, meeting Kellan’s gaze. “I wasn’t sure you were coming out.”

“To be honest,” Kellan replied as he walked closer. “I wasn’t sure, either.” Inches from the pool’s edge, he discarded the robe and tossed it to a lounge chair and dove in—so fast, Connor couldn’t get a good look.

He emerged from the water and swam a lap, taking him farther away from Connor. Kellan’s head rose from the water, and he brushed his wet hair from his face. Watchful, as if he sensed he was prey, giving the predator a wide berth.

“I won’t bite,” Connor called over the surface. “You can come closer.”

What looked like a hint of fear shone in Kellan’s eyes before he swam closer. In Connor’s opinion, he was still too far away.

“I’m still not sure how I feel about… this,” Kellan murmured.

“I’m just here as a friend. So you don’t have to vacation alone.” Connor grinned. “I’ve always wanted to travel to Italy. I’m crossing something off my bucket list, thanks to you.”

Kellan offered a wry smile but said nothing.

“Are there any sights you wanted to see while you were here?” Connor had done a bit of digging and had a short list, just in case, but he was there to tagalong. His list came secondary, if at all.

“Not really,” Kellan said. “I have to meet the agent at some point. Emma’s going to connect us this week. Otherwise, I was just going to relax.”

“Stay all week in the house?” Connor glanced around. “I mean, the view here is spectacular, but you don’t want to go explore the towns along the lake?”

Kellan shrugged. “I suppose we could. Is there somewhere you wanted to go?”

“When I was researching the area, I saw an eight-hundred-year-old villa in Verenna that’s now a museum with gardens. I thought that might be interesting.”

Kellan nodded. “Might be.”

“There’s also the Orrido di Bellano, if you like hiking.”

“I think Emma and my in-laws went there the last time I was here. I missed out,” Kellan said, brushing water from his face as he drifted closer. “I would like to see it this time around.”

Connor nodded. “Why don’t you tell me what you like to do?”

Kellan sighed. “In all honesty, I don’t know. All I seem to do these days is work and take care of Abby.”

“Do you dance?”

Kellan’s gaze whipped to his. He was silent a moment. “Um… what kind of dancing?”

“As in a nightclub. A guy I met on the train gave me the name of one in Lombardy that would be welcoming.”

“Welcoming?” Kellan narrowed his eyes. “To whom?”

“Guys like us,” Connor murmured.

Panic settled on Kellan’s face. “I don’t think that would be safe.”

“Safe from what?” Connor asked. There had to be a reason why Kellan had married to hide his sexuality. What was it?

“My family. They’re… very conservative.”

“Do they live in Europe?”

“No,” Kellan answered. “Back in Texas.”

“Sounds like they’re a million miles away.”

“You don’t understand,” Kellan argued.

“Helpme understand.”

Kellan drew in a deep breath. “My dad is Norman Rhodes.”

Inwardly gasping, Connor’s eyes widened. Senator Norman Rhodes had led the charge to end LGBT rights, along with a myriad of other sins in his time in Congress. The man was horrific. Living in a red state was hard enough when you were gay. Men like Norman Rhodes made it harder.

He could rage about the man, yet Connor could only chuckle. Homophobic Norman Rhodes’ son was gay? “Does he know? About you?”

Kellan scoffed. “I’ve never come out to him, but he knows. Most of the time, he pretends he doesn’t, but he does.” He glanced out at the scenery, appearing lost. “My father’s powerful and has a long reach. Italy might not be far enough for me to be free.”

“And why do you care what he thinks?”

Kellan didn’t answer.

“I get that he’s your dad and there’s likely a part of you that wants his approval but come on.”

“It’s not just that.” Kellan growled. “You try growing up in a house where gay people were called an abomination. Where your own father actively fought against your very existence. You learn to be smaller. To take up less space, hopeful you’ll be ignored. That’s how I’ve spent my entire life.”

“You’re no longer a kid.”

“Yeah, but even as an adult, it’s hard to get out from his shadow. I struggled to find a job after I left his office.”

“Wait a minute… you worked for him? You do realize he wants to make people like us illegal?”

“And he would’ve been ten times worse had I not been there, tempering him and the legislation he worked on,” Kellan shot back. “I quit three years ago. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Which is why his rhetoric has gotten worse the last few years.”

Kellan swam a few yards away. “While I was there, I tried to temper him. Time and time again, I reeled him in. I didn’t always succeed, but… Things could’ve been a lot worse had I not been there.” He shrugged. “Now there’s no one to hold him back and I wonder every single day if I didn’t make a mistake leaving.”

Connor sighed, seeing pain in Kellan’s eyes. “You’re not responsible for his crimes.”

Kellan laughed, though there was no humor in his eyes. “Tell that to the rest of the world.”

“People blame you for him?”

“After I left, I attempted to make my own way. Find something meaningful to do with my time. I’d only ever worked on his staff or his campaign. That made me damaged goods in the eyes of the companies I wanted to work for. Others wanted to use me to get to him, to have the ear of a Senator. I had to compromise myself in order to gain employment… and that was because of him.”

“You might have had better luck changing minds if you came out. Let the world know you’re nothing like him.”

“I shouldn’t have to tell the world I’m gay just to be treated as an individual or get a job.”

“Your sexual identity is your private business, I get that,” Connor said, struggling to relate. Telling the world wouldn’t have been a hardship to him, but then he’d always been out. He’d told his parents he had a crush on a boy on his soccer team at eight and they’d simply rolled with it. When he told them he was gay as a teen, they’d welcomed him into their arms and loved him no matter what. Not that it had all been easy but having his parents in his corner had been everything to him.

He couldn’t judge Kellan’s journey when he hadn’t had the same experiences or support. “It must’ve been hard growing up with a parent like that.”

“I’ve spent twenty years hiding. Nearly forty having his morality shoved down my throat.” A shine formed in Kellan’s eyes. “A childhood—” He sighed, shaking his head. “You don’t need to hear that.” Kellan chuckled. “I doubt you were paid enough.”

Connor nearly opened his mouth to tell the man to continue. To get it off his chest. Airing the bullshit could help, but he also knew that the dark places could swallow you whole if you weren’t careful. As far as he knew, Kellan had come to Italy for an escape. Not a week-long therapy session. “I’m here if you need someone to listen. Without judgement.”

Kellan met his gaze. “I appreciate it, but… no.” Kellan turned for another lap and that’s when Connor noticed multiple scars on the man’s back. He frowned. They looked like whip marks.

Who hurt you?He immediately sensed it had been the Senator.

Connor clenched his fists, suddenly wanting to punch Norman Rhodes square in the jaw. More so than usual. He dragged his thoughts from the violence swirling in his head and looked up to the night sky. Lights glittered all around the edges of the lake, sparkling over the surface of the water along with the stars above. A speedboat passed, the motor revved high, pushing through the illumination, and sending it wafting outwards.

When Kellan finally came up for air, he eyed Connor.

“Sun’s down. Maybe we should get some dinner and call it a night?” Connor asked. “I don’t know about you, but the jet lag seems to be settling in.”

“Yeah,” Kellan murmured. He followed Connor out, quickly bundling up in his robe and covering his body.

“Ana Maria said she left food.”

Kellan smiled. “If memory serves, her cooking is incredible.”

Once in the house, Kellan passed Connor on the way to the kitchen. Connor found him digging in the fridge. Glancing down, he noticed a note on the island along with a key. He scanned the note before Kellan came out with a small pot in his hands.

“La zuppa, the sign says. Sounds good. You?”

“Sounds wonderful.” He lifted the key. “Seems the key was here.” He pointed to the note. “And this has all the alarm codes, too.”

“Perfect.” Kellan hefted the pot. “I’ll put this on low. We can wash up and change while it warms up.”

“I’ll meet you back here in ten,” Connor replied, smiling.

While Kellan started the soup, he climbed the stairs. After a speedy shower to rinse off the chlorine, he threw on some sweats and returned to the kitchen. In one corner, there was a small table beside a wide window with an excellent view of the gardens and the lake. Along one wall was a stone fireplace stocked with wood and kindling. Even after the warmth of the shower, he still felt a bit of chill. He knelt and built a small fire to fend it off.

Once it came to life, the embers cast an orange, flickering glow over the room. He ambled over to the stove and gave the pot a stir. It was lukewarm, so he brought up the flame before searching the kitchen for bread to serve with the soup. He found a small, round crusty loaf in a breadbox, a perfect accompaniment. By the time Kellan reappeared, he had the table set and a wine picked from a selection in the pantry.

“You’ve been busy,” Kellan remarked before eyeing the fire. “Oh, great idea.” He walked closer and warmed his hands. “Is it almost dinnertime?”

Connor stirred the bubbling soup. “I think so. This smells amazing.”

He poured them two bowls and headed for the table. Kellan sat opposite him, wearing pajama pants and a Allton Academy t-shirt under a beige cardigan. The firelight danced over his handsome face, casting shadows and light. It made his full lips seem fuller. More kissable.

Connor wondered what they’d feel like against his.

“I hope you don’t mind that I opened a bottle of wine?” he asked, pouring a glass for Kellan.

“When in Rome…” He laughed. “Or rather… when at Lake Como.”

He reached for the glass, his fingertips grazing Connor’s. It wasn’t the first time they’d touched, yet there was an electric spark there he hadn’t noticed earlier in the bedroom. There was something in Kellan’s eyes that took a simple caress and made it more.

Muchmore.

Desire radiated from Kellan. Connor wrestled with his own.

He poured himself a glass and lifted it, holding Kellan’s gaze. “Salud.”

“Salud,”Kellan repeated, his gaze locked on Connor’s.

They both sipped the wine, neither breaking eye contact. Not until Kellan tore his away, lowering his glass. Awkward silence hung between them before Connor’s brain caught up. He uncovered the loaf of bread he’d discovered and offered it to Kellan. “Found this in the pantry. Thought it might go well with the soup.”

Kellan ripped a piece off, dipping it into his soup bowl before taking a bite. “Delicious.”

“It sure is,”Connor whispered, staring at Kellan.

It was hard to tell if the man blushed with the amber glow of the firelight. If he was a betting man, he’d say those cheeks were rosy red.

“Would you like to see that villa tomorrow?” Kellan asked, eyeing his bowl.

“This is your trip. I’m just here for the ride.”

Kellan shrugged. “I was so busy, I didn’t come with plans. I brought a couple of books and figured I’d spend the week here, for the most part. Maybe eat out a few meals.”

“We can do that, if you’d rather. I know you came here to relax.” There were plenty things they could get into all alone in the big house. Relaxing wasn’t one on his mind.

“No,” Kellan said, shaking his head. “If Emma’s selling this place, I don’t know that I’ll ever come back. This might be my last chance to see the sights.”

“It’s a shame she’s selling it.”

“It’s a shame a place like this sits empty except for a week or two a year,” Kellan replied. “I’m glad she’s selling it. Her father bought whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted without considering the impact. Hopefully a local buys it. Or an Italian, at the very least.”

Connor was used to wealthy people who threw their money around, showing off. Impressed at Kellan’s practicality, he fought a grin and dug into his bowl. Flavor exploded over his tongue at the first bite. He moaned—louder than he’d intended—and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he couldn’t ignore the fire in Kellan’s.

“That’s good zuppa,” Connor said, pointing at his bowl. “Ana Maria is my new favorite person.”

“Lucky her,” Kellan whispered.

Connor’s gaze flicked to Kellan’s.

“I said that out loud again, didn’t I?” Kellan asked, covering his face with his hands. “Sorry.”

“Don’tbe sorry.”

Kellan dropped his hands, a hint of a smile on his lips. He opened his mouth, and Connor stiffened with anticipation.

I know what you want, all you have to do is ask.

Disappointment came when Kellan closed his lips, before taking another bite. Connor spent the rest of their quiet meal hanging on every word, every breath, hoping Kellan would ask for what he wanted. The sounds of their utensils and the crackling of the fire were all he heard. When they were done, Kellan cleared the table. Kellan sidled up beside him at the sink, bringing their glasses and the bread bowl.

They worked quietly to clean up their meal. Little was said, but Kellan’s eyes spoke volumes. Connor banked the fire, sensing he’d have to do the same with his libido. Once the kitchen was back to right, Connor trailed Kellan to the foyer, where he punched in the alarm codes at the door. He turned to Connor, expectation once again in his eyes.

Anticipation filled Connor’s belly. Earlier, he’d agreed no lines would be crossed. All he could think of was bypassing his moral dilemma and giving in to his baser instincts. Kellan had seemed relieved at the thought of them not sharing a bed. Yet he stood at the base of the staircase, that hope in his eyes screaming for attention.

Connor couldn’t be the one to make the first move. Could he? “What time would you like to head out in the morning?”

“I’m usually an early riser,” Kellan said before covering a yawn. “But after that trip, I’m not so sure.”

“We’ll get up when we get up, hmm?”

Kellan nodded. “Yeah.” He smiled. “Well… um. Goodnight.”

Goodnight?Connor’s feet moved before his brain caught up. He grasped Kellan’s arm and tugged the man close. So much for your agreement. “Goodnight,” he murmured before descending for a kiss.

The moment his lips met Kellan’s, blood roared in his ears. His lips were soft and supple, crushed under Connor’s, just as expected. Kellan melted against him, eager. He wanted to continue the kiss… allow it to move wherever it naturally would.

Let him come to you. Connor broke the kiss, leaning back. He grinned down at Kellan’s kiss-drunk expression and whispered, “See you in the morning.”

Kellan clutched the newel post at the end of the staircase, panting a bit. He appeared to shake himself before nodding. “Yeah… see you in the morning.”

Connor watched him escape up the stairs, not missing the backward glance at the top. He smiled to himself, eager to see where the week took them.

* * *

Kellan collapsed on the bed, lifting one hand to brush against his lips, still swollen from the kiss. He fought a smile, his stomach in knots. Lust whispered naughty things in his mind, demanding he rush to Connor’s bedroom and see where another kiss might take them. Fear kept him where he was. He rose, pulled back the bedding, and slipped under the covers.

As exhausted as he was, he couldn’t sleep. Not with thoughts of the man sharing the house with him running rampant. He heard Connor pass his door and move down the hall. Must be sleeping in the room Emma and I shared last time.

He had a location. He had desire and what appeared to be a willing partner.

What he didn’t have was nerve.

His inner voice was fed up. Just get up and go in there. You saw the look in his eyes.

And what if I’m wrong?

You’re not wrong.

Kellan ignored the angry voice in his head. He rolled to his side and attempted sleep—and failed. An hour passed, his body aching and cock hardening as he replayed the kiss over and over again in his mind, along with images of Connor in his little swim brief. Reaching under his pants, he stroked his shaft, closing his eyes and imagining it was Connor’s hand.

Silently, he brought himself to the edge, as he’d done time and time again to seek relief from his self-imposed solitude. If he’d been stronger, he’d have lived a life of freedom. But he wasn’t strong. Never had been.

His father’s voice whispered in his mind, telling him he was weak. His erection retreated short of release. He was weak. Too weak to walk away when he should’ve. Too weak to be the man he wanted to be.

Too weak to love whomever he wanted.

“You’re pathetic,” he whispered to himself, the sting of tears coming to the backs of his eyes. Another of his father’s many complaints—how emotional he could be. He wore his feelings on his sleeve, unable to shutter the easy flow. Years of beatings hadn’t made him stop, no matter how hard his father had tried. No matter how badly he wanted to protect himself from more of the same.

After an hour of silently berating himself, sleep finally claimed him.