Page 84
THE EXTENDED GROUP TEXT
New messages from: EXTENDED FAMILY GROUP CHAT .
Mikel: Someone tell Gabriel he’s burning the mulled wine.
Mikel: It smells like arsenic.
Gabriel: I’m trying.
Elijah: Trying to lose.
Moses: Lose at … mulled wine?
Kilian: They’re playing that online word game again, just like last Christmas.
Mikel: Less word games, more monitoring the stove.
Gabriel: This is what happens when you ban us from work for the holidays.
Oscar: The online word game that almost ended in an all-out brawl last year?
Isobel: That’s the one.
Oscar: That was the most thoughtful Christmas present I’ve ever been given.
Oscar: @Lily take over the mulled wine, Gabe needs to focus.
Lily Sato: Uh … I think this needs to be thrown out.
Logan Ashford: I’ll come and help.
Oscar: Stay three feet away from my little sister at all times, playboy.
Logan Ashford: Ew? She’s like my little sister.
Lily Sato: I have a boyfriend.
Bellamy: We all know I’m her favourite big brother.
Hana: @Niko
Niko: Yes, mom?
Hana: @Niko, did you give Illy the blanket I made her?
Niko: You don’t have to tag me in every message, okasan. And you can ask her yourself.
Kilian: This is the family chat, okasan.
Hana: @Kili-chan! How are you my son?
Niko: What, he’s your son now too?
Hana: @Niko, I have twelve sons. @Theodore @Moses @Gabriel @Kilian @Cian @Elijah @Oscar @Mikel @Kalen @Shinji @Tomoya
Bellamy: Wow. So every male in this chat except for me. Woooooow.
Luis Rosales: Um.
Hana: @Bellamy @Luis, my honorary sons.
Braun: @Bellamy, you need to learn to count, boy .
Oscar: Wait.
Oscar: Back fucking track.
Oscar: @Lily you have a what now?
Lily Sato: I have a boyfriend.
Lily Sato: Illy’s known for ages.
Isobel: Nope.
Theodore: Whoa, so many messages. Why did Illy just run outside?
Moses: Are we doing the chasing thing again?
Niko: This is the family group chat.
Moses: Well, if nobody else is gonna chase her …
Niko: This is the family group chat.
Cian: Fuck it, I’m chasing.
Teak: brAUN CARTER
Teak: I TOLD YOU TO JULLIENE THE CARROTS
Teak: NOT ROMEO AND JULIET THEM
Teak: WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS MOUNTAIN OF ORANGE MUSH
Theodore: Okay, Braun just ran outside, too, so I don’t think this is the chase thing.
Niko: Still the family group chat.
Kalen: @everyone, get back the fuck inside.
Kilian: @Theodore, you’re not reading a single thing before you send your messages, are you?
Theodore: No, why?
Kilian: No reason.
Sophia: Lunch isn’t going to be on time, is it?
Bellamy: Not a chance .
Sophia: Burgers?
Bellamy: I’ll pull the car around.
Sophia: Thank you, husband.
Isobel: Wait, you guys are leaving?
Sophia: I’m hungry!
Hanale Ashford: We brought snacks!
Cian: Sorry, dad. Already ate them all.
Hanale Ashford: We brought five bags of snacks.
Sao-Yeong Grey: We also brought snacks! I brought rice cakes for my daughter.
Kilian: Yeah, I definitely ate those.
Sao-Yeong Grey: They were for my daughter!
Kilian: What about your son!
Isobel: Tell me you didn’t eat my eomma’s rice cakes.
Kilian: You said I could!
Isobel: Not my SPECIAL rice cakes, I would NEVER.
Kilian: You better run, brat.
Theodore: Oh, there she goes again. Are we back on for the hunt?
Moses: READ THE REST OF THE MESSAGES @Theodore
Theodore: But why, there’s so many.
Mikel: @Sophia @Bellamy, you guys left, right?
Bellamy: In a cloud of dust.
Mikel: We need food.
Kalen: We’ll send you money.
Bellamy: Adam Bellamy saves the day again.
Kalen: And alcohol .
Sophia: On it.
Kalen: And twine.
Niko: This is the family group chat.
Kalen: Teak wanted it. For cooking.
Moses: Oh, well, we know THEY aren’t using it for anything other than cooking.
Elijah: Are we sure?
Gabriel: New bet?
Oscar: Get back to your word game, I haven’t heard shouting yet. No breaks. Not until I get my Christmas present.
Cian: There’s no way Braun is getting laid in that sweater.
Theodore: There goes Cian! The hunt is definitely on, right?
Theodore: I’m just going to go.
Moses: Let him run in the woods. Maybe he’ll get lost. That’s what I want for Christmas.
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