Page 13

You Have Me

Isobel dragged herself out of the shower on heavy feet, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she stepped into her dressing room.

She distractedly began to pull on her oversized flannel pyjamas before remembering that Theodore had torn them off her the night before.

She had woken up alone, so she hadn’t had a chance to ask why, but she assumed it was just too hot with three people sharing body heat beneath the covers.

What happened to all the sexy little numbers? Cooper had leered at her the first night she switched to these pyjamas.

Her hands began to shake, her breath sticking in her throat.

Tonight was Gabriel and Elijah’s turn.

She knew one or both of them had created the schedule—why had they put themselves second instead of last? She wasn’t ready to face seeing them and him in the same room.

She pulled on one of Kilian’s shirts, comforted by the way it swallowed up her body, and returned to the bathroom, opening a vanity drawer and considering the little bottle of pills inside.

She had asked their new dorm manager for them.

Sloan hadn’t even blinked twice at the request for sleeping pills.

She had simply walked to a cabinet against the wall and opened it to reveal rows upon rows of pills and bottles, crouching down in her long black pencil skirt to run a painted nail across the second row of bottles.

“All the dorm managers have a pharmacy in their office,” she had explained, seeing the confused look on Isobel’s face.

Sloan was a beautiful woman in her late thirties, but her expression was always harsh and her voice always sharp.

It was impossible to know her personal opinion on anything as she delivered whip-like orders in her steely tone.

It had been impossible to tell what she thought about the medication, but she handed it over without a fuss.

And she hadn’t told Mikel and Kalen about it.

Not yet, anyway.

Isobel picked up the little bottle and tipped one of the pills into her palm, considering it. The label read Temazepam , and someone had stuck a sticker onto the bottom of the bottle .

Higher dosage. Those words were in bold and underlined, at the top of the label.

Effects last 10-12 hours. Beware of dependency. Take 1 tablet 2-3 times a week. Do not mix with alcohol.

She tipped another of the pills into her palm, a wave of panic rising inside her. She couldn’t afford to be sluggish and drowsy for half of the next day.

“Illy. You okay?” Elijah knocked on the bathroom door, forcing her to jump in fright, the pills tumbling out of her palm and into the sink. She quickly pushed them down the drain and shoved the bottle back into the drawer.

“Yeah, just a minute.” She stared herself down in the mirror, taking stock of the damp tendrils of hair that curled around her face and the wild, harried look in her eyes.

Kilian and Cian had dragged her back from the edge of her dissociation, but the second she stepped back into her bedroom, it all came crashing back in again.

She opened the door, surprised at the darkness of her bedroom.

Elijah was now in bed with Gabriel, both of them on their phones, the space between them open and waiting for her.

Some of the other guys were physically close and affectionate with each other, but not these two. They preferred their personal space.

“Are you sure you’re both fine with this?” she asked.

They had already looked up from their phones, the light from their screens illuminating their faces as they silently regarded her.

She was usually able to get a little more out of them, Elijah especially—but this time, he only nodded, patting the space between them.

She climbed over him, her breath catching as she paused just over his lap, his smoky, spicy scent curling around her as his eyes tracked her slow movements with unwavering intensity.

He rarely ever paid attention to other people, always preoccupied with his phone, his laptop, or his own thoughts.

So when he finally set everything down and turned his full focus on her, the gravity of it felt almost unbearable.

It was why she never fought when he urged her back to her own room the rare few times she had almost fallen asleep in his bed.

That tension only snowballed when he started to kiss or touch her, though she doubted there was any threat of that happening with Gabriel there.

Gabriel she had spent nights with, but they hadn’t kissed since the day she discovered he was hoarding her belongings.

She had to admit that she was grateful for their insane schedules because she didn’t seem to have any restraint when it came to her mates. If she had free time, she might have tumbled into ten sexual relationships a long time ago. Possibly long before she was mentally ready.

Not that she was the one holding them back.

She definitely got the sense that Kalen and Mikel were waiting for a cue from her, but Elijah and Gabriel were the ones imposing boundaries, and it felt more like she was the one waiting for cues from them.

She had absolutely no idea what was going on in Niko’s head, and she was still torn on what she should do about Moses.

She wanted to close that distance between them, but whenever she tried to picture how she might make the first move, all she could picture was …

Well …

Violence.

She imagined, quite literally, shoving him until he snapped, and then they would just … tumble into it somehow.

That’s how bad she was at trying to make the first move.

“Want to talk about it?” Gabriel asked. He had put his phone away and turned on his side, his sombre, reddish-brown eyes tracing her face.

About Moses?

For a moment, she was confused.

“Ah.” She winced. “The remnants.”

“Was there something else?” One of his brows jumped up.

She could feel the heat of Elijah’s body as he settled properly on her other side, gripping her hip and turning her to face Gabriel properly before pressing the long, hard length of his body against hers .

“Nope,” she lied, her cheeks burning. “I’m just a bit … scattered. Can’t seem to focus on one thought.”

“Lack of sleep will do that.” Gabriel brushed a lock of softly curling hair behind her ear, leaning forward.

For a crazy moment, she thought he was about to kiss her, but he only pressed his nose into her hair, a gravelled sigh loosening from his chest.

“Time to let go,” he advised her. “Can’t put it off forever.”

“What if it happens?” She couldn’t even say the words. What if he appears? What if he sees you? What if he says something? What if it makes me sick to my stomach? What if it breaks my heart all over again?

“I’ll protect you,” Gabriel promised softly.

“How can I protect you?” she demanded.

“Isobel,” Elijah rasped against her ear, the use of her full name jerking her attention from Gabriel. Ever since he had asked her to be his girlfriend, Elijah mostly called her Illy. “Let us handle this.”

There was a hint of command in his low tone, something she usually associated with Kalen or Mikel.

His warm hand gathered the hem of her shirt, confident fingers skimming up her thigh, over the lace of her panties, and down the slope of her waist before stretching out over her belly.

He yanked her body tighter to his, shifting his head to press his lips to the top of her head.

“Let us protect our mate, hm? Give us this?”

Her breath stuttered out at the way he was pleading with her in such a strangely dominant way. It was … a relief, almost. Them wanting it so badly.

“Okay,” she whispered, catching the spark of approval in Gabriel’s eyes.

She thought she would be too tightly wound to sleep, but watching Gabriel get sleepy somehow pulled her under, and she succumbed almost as soon as his eyes fluttered shut.

That was where her luck ran out.

With the darkness came the blood. It dripped through her consciousness, accompanied by gasping breath and sneered words.

Kiss me, Sigma . She could feel the memory of her head cracking against a brick wall.

I knew you’d give in eventually. Crowe’s large, sweaty hand was creeping between her thighs, a sour and chemical smell making her head spin sickeningly.

The river of blood flowed, pulling her from one memory to the next.

You’re so fucking gullible. Eve’s scalpel was cutting into her veins, and the shimmering gold Isobel feared so deeply began to shine. It slid over her skin like a living thing, threaded with light and glitter, a snake let loose to corrupt her unconscious mind.

The river flowed faster, now radiant and marbled.

She was staring down the barrel of Crowe’s gun.

You want to be a cripple, bitch?

She had talons, and she wanted destruction. She was dying of thirst, and the only thing that would sate her was more blood.

More destruction.

I am not for sale. The words were written on sticky notes. Glimmering, glittering blood dripped down over them.

Her hair fell like silken threads around her still body, her bond ripped from where it was rooted in her soul. The sawing sound of a knife through her strands cut her to the core.

Niko’s face was disappearing beneath the surface of the river of glittering blood, but she couldn’t help. She knew she was losing him, but she still couldn’t help.

He was letting go, but she was also drowning.

I’ll make you forget them, her father’s voice rumbled, just like I made your mother forget you. Something inside her chest cracked open, a healing wound gaping open again as months’ worth of stitching began to unravel.

You’re going to do everything I say from here on out . A different voice. A different wound. She was thrown down onto a table, hands trapped against her chest. Cooper’s belt hit the floor. Her dress was flipped up.

I’m going to fuck you, Isobel Carter. I’m going to break you.