Page 48

“I was terrified,” she admitted. “Of you and Kalen. And the others. Of Alphas in general.” She shrugged a little.

“My whole life was built on the premise that Alphas were horrible, evil bullies who would use me and hurt me. It took a while to get over. It didn’t change after we bonded— nothing changed after we bonded.

Not the way I felt about you or the way I felt about anyone else.

It meant nothing to my feelings, even though it changed my life. ”

“Hm” was all he said, his fingers drumming against the arms of his chair.

“And you?” she asked. “Did it change how you felt?”

He laughed humourlessly. “I was horrified. Wanted to cut out my eye and pretend it didn’t happen. No offence.”

She frowned at him. “Some offence.”

He quirked a brow. “If any part of me had been secretly revelling in being bonded to my student, that would have been severely messed up and creepy.”

“Okay, fine.” She pointed to the cabinet. “Who sent the gift basket?”

“Mei Ito. When their debut album charted. She asked me to give it to Kalen.”

“It doesn’t look like you gave it to Kalen. ”

“Believe it or not, he’s full up on gift baskets.

The entire human group are very grateful for how he’s managed to turn them from influencers to superstars.

Mei already had a massive net worth, but apparently, she was forced into selling her podcast show to cover up a scandal—that’s why she agreed to come on Ironside.

Kalen’s received gift baskets from her agent, her publicist—even her fucking parents. ”

Isobel’s brows pinched in, and she stared at the candle. “They didn’t thank you?”

He surprised her with a sudden laugh, full-bodied and natural.

Even his eyes shone with amusement. “Do you know how many calls Kalen has to take for that entire nepotistic, narcissistic, oblivious swarm of people? He should get all the credit—he’s the only thing standing in the way of me bluntly telling them all that they wouldn’t know real talent if it slapped them cold across the face.

Which is something they could all benefit from, by the way.

Fuck, if they were allowed to be here in person, I’d be tempted, and it would be Kalen saving the day. That’s why he gets the gift baskets.”

“That’s not why he gets the gift baskets.

” She chewed on her lip nervously, wondering if she was ready to say any of this out loud—or if it even needed to be acknowledged.

But he had been honest, forcing the words out through his awkwardness.

She owed him the same. “They choose him because they always do. Everyone does. And you’re free to think it’s good that nobody chooses you because you don’t want to be chosen, but I’m free to think it’s a shame and a waste.

Everyone who doesn’t pick you is poorer for it in every way.

No, wait—” She held up her hand, even though he hadn’t been about to speak.

She was talking to the denial she could feel him building up, a protective barrier against whatever nice thing he thought she was forcing herself to say to make him feel better.

“I was naive when I first met you, but I’ve seen more of the world now than anyone could ever hope or want to see.

I’m not naive anymore, and if I knew what I do now when I first met you, I would have fallen in love with you a long time ago.

I’m probably supposed to tell you that you’re handsome—although you are—and sexy—although you are—because it’s clear you don’t think those things of yourself, but that’s not it.

That’s not why. You have something so much rarer.

It’s so precious that I only know nine people who have it, and it’s the biggest testament to you that those other eight people all have it because of you. ”

His throat bobbed, eyes narrowing slightly. “What?”

“Kindness.” She eyed him, but he gave her no reaction.

“Not politeness, not charm, not the ability to say the right thing or be what people want you to be—those are things people can learn. What you have is deep, inherent kindness. You want good to win. You protect the people you love to your own detriment. You care for their needs at the expense of your own. You monitor and guide them with the time you don’t have.

You’re always there for them and never expect a single thing in return.

And you’ve taught them to emulate you. You’re one of the most impressive people I’ve ever met. ”

He watched her for a long moment, the candle flickering between them. She could feel him carefully trying to reel in his reaction, but his feelings danced out of his fingers and tunnelled into her chest, full of need , despite his blank expression.

Finally, he spoke. “You said you know nine people.”

She shrugged. “You did your best with Oscar.”

He laughed, the sound torn from him on an unwilling puff of noise before he wrangled the amusement back behind his stoic mask. “You’re attracted to me.”

“I’m sure that’s obvious.”

His breath seemed shaky all of a sudden, his attention falling to her chest, feeling how much she meant those words.

“You said you fell in love with me.” He glanced between her eyes.

She froze, her breath halting. “I didn’t. When did I say that?”

He chuckled, the sound breaking off into another laugh. He scrubbed large, scarred hands down his face. “Fuck it. Fuck. All right. Shit. You know what? I fucking love you too?—”

“I didn’t say?—”

“Yes, you did. Don’t take it back?— ”

“ You don’t take it back?—”

“I fell in love with you when we were lying in my bed in that hotel room and you told me that if I needed you, I had you.” He stood up suddenly and grabbed her wrist, yanking her out of the chair.

He picked her up and hoisted her onto the table, scattering chess pieces everywhere.

He seemed to rescue the candle at the last second, shifting it to the side table beneath the lamp.

He pressed her thighs apart and yanked her back to the edge of the table.

He caught her face in his hands, tilting it up until his lips were only a breath away.

“I want you to be mine, but I’m not good at this shit.

And I was fucking terrified that if I really made you mine, I wouldn’t let anyone else have you. ”

“So you put them first,” she said. “Again.” Her words were a rasp of sound as she tried to absorb the sudden sensation of his touch, his heat, and his scent cocooning her in a fierce whip of wild and cleansing rain.

He planted his hands against the table until he was hovering directly above her, forcing her to tilt back slightly. “That was then,” he said, almost menacingly. “That was before the bond was healed, and we became so … enmeshed . Now I know I can take you.”

Her elbows hit the table. He loomed closer.

“I would go on a date with you,” she blurted. “In a restaurant or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” he echoed, catching her feet and planting them on the edge of the table, forcing her legs to bend as he stood between them.

Her chest was rising and falling at a rapid rate. “Yes. If people talked like you said—I wouldn’t even notice, but I don’t think that’s what would happen.”

“What would happen, Sigma?” He swept his touch from the outsides of her thighs, over her knees, and then to the inside of her thighs, his rough fingers raising goosebumps in their wake.

Her dressing gown fell away from her legs, pooling onto the table. Her body was on fire, but she didn’t dare squirm for relief. She had become Mikel’s instrument, held still, straining and taut, waiting for his direction.

“They would see it, I think,” she panted. “What I see. They would think we look good together.”

“Can’t fucking argue with that.” He pressed her legs open with a sudden, strong snap.

He halted his momentum before forcing her knees all the way to the table, allowing her torso to fall flat with the shock before he pressed more gradually, easing her into a stretch that had them both groaning at the same time.

She loved that he knew her body so well.

He knew exactly when her muscles would tighten and how to coax them.

“What was the purpose here?” he asked, tone rough, scarred fingers drifting over the satin of her pyjama shorts, his touch so light it tickled.

She immediately tried to close her legs, and he slapped her thigh in reprimand, the sting of it hard enough to have her entire body jolting.

“It’s really starting to look like you have a little crush on me, Carter. It looks like you came here tonight to seduce me.”

Hearing him call her out like that made her blush so hard that she could feel the heat emanating from her skin. Even though she had accidentally told him she loved him.

“Crushes are unrequited,” she grumbled, mustering her best moody face to cover up the embarrassment.

He caught her hand, dragging it over the straining bulge in his pants. “Unrequited might be a stretch.”

Her stomach clenched, and her thighs trembled.

“Might be? You just admitted you’ve loved me like forever .

” She rolled her eyes, but it was all for show.

Her body was full of liquid heat, her chest bursting with happiness.

She curled her fingers around the steely length of him as much as she could, drawing a hiss from his lips, his pupils blowing out as his hands slammed down to the table on either side of her head.

“Summer break wasn’t that long ago.” He leaned heavily into her, his face appearing above hers, his tone softening. “I need you.”

“Then you have me,” she said.

He smiled at her, and she could have sworn his teeth looked sharper, but it was probably just the savage glint in his splotchy eyes .

He finally closed the distance between their mouths, but just before his hard lips landed on hers, a question burst out of her. “Just to be clear, we’re talking about sex, right? This isn’t another punishment?”

“Do you feel punished?” he whispered the words against her mouth.

“Well, not yet , but?—”