Page 13

THIRTEEN

EASTON

I slammed the front door shut as soon as I entered the apartment. The world was a blur of colors and a mess of sounds, rendered through my banging heartbeats and my teary eyes.

I could still feel the lingering heat on my lips. I could still feel the tempting call to surrender, to hand over myself to him. It was too easy. Jace holding me, his arms around my waist, his hands on the small of my back, was all I could think about. I had never felt so light, so weightless, as when he kissed me back.

But he was not just some guy I could hook up with. The history was so muddled and complicated that we could never be completely free of it.

I hurried into the bathroom, desperately needing to shower again. As I stepped into the shower cabin, I knocked down the products from the rack. I picked them up one by one, tossing the old and empty ones out and returning the new ones on the rack. There, near the small pile of empty shower gel bottles, was the small cabinet. In its bottom drawer, an item I hadn’t used in weeks. I blocked it out of my mind.

I don’t need that , I thought, but the simmering heat was still rising from the pit of my stomach. I scrubbed myself clean. Or I thought I did. The feeling of filth was not filth at all but guilt. They’d raised us together, then they’d sent him away, and he was here, returning into my life with a force of a thousand brilliant stars.

I never should have opened the goddamn door when he knocked. I should have known that coming face-to-face with him was going to be devastating. Jace was precisely what I craved, making it so much riskier to be around him. Yet I couldn’t get away from him. Every chance I got, I neared him. I didn’t have to walk to the beach with him; I didn’t have to spend my time late into the night eyeing him and fighting with him. These things I did gave me a respite from everything else.

He was fucking right. He could make me feel infinitely better if I gave myself to him. Even now, his steady, unwavering presence made me feel protected. How much more at ease would I be if I finally broke and handed over all the control? To be free of having to think, of having to plan, and to let Jace take care of me…

I showered until my skin was raw. Then, I eyed the bottom drawer of the cabinet, my fingers trembling.

What if I was ready?

What if he walked in and I didn’t have that barrier, that one extra step to perform? What if I could let my body decide in the moment?

As I reached for the bulb-like silicone kit, hidden away in the back of the drawer, I knew that I wasn’t just making it easier for myself to make a decision later. I was inching closer to giving in already.

The piano my father and I assembled in the living room under the window where Jace normally sat on the sill and smoked was plugged in but still purely decorative. It had been months since I had last played music. Until now.

Of the few interests I had, hockey occupied ninety percent of my heart. The remaining ten had once upon a time been dedicated to music.

When Dad had left and Jace stepped out of the closet, he ignored the piano. Almost a week had gone by, and Jace hadn’t mentioned it. It must have been a painful sight, and I had been thoughtless to go through with it. I should have told Dad not to bring it once it had become clear to me I couldn’t turn Jace away.

Couldn’t? I wondered. That wasn’t the truth. I could have done whatever I wanted. The truth was that I wouldn’t turn him away. Not after I looked into his eyes and felt the same excited fear that I had once known so well. Not after I scanned his face and saw the broken heart tattoo under the corner of his eye, the bad boy taper fade, the mop of unruly hair, the perfect line of his eyebrows, and the sexy mustache.

My fingers moved along the keys at a slow, mournful, tranquil pace. Beethoven had always been my favorite, partly because I couldn’t dream of playing Liszt, whose pieces required another ten to fifteen fingers at the very least, and partly because the melancholy in Beethoven’s works had resonated with me throughout my life.

Mom and Dad had picked me over Jace for music lessons soon after they had adopted me. They hadn’t asked him, but the wide-eyed looks he’d cast at the piano once they’d bought it were a clear giveaway. He’d wanted it, too. Being skipped over must have sparked another wildfire of envy.

Why would they do that? I asked myself. I’d skillfully spent years avoiding this question. Why would they drive such a wedge between us?

For most of my life, I was able to tell myself that Jace had been unwelcoming enough from the very day I’d come into that house that it had been his own fault. But we all knew that it hadn’t only been Jace. Dad never played catch with him. Mom never showed him how to mix the cookie dough. Piano lessons were never offered to him. The new skates were my size, not his. His stubbornness and their disregard had made Jace into the hotheaded man that he now was.

And would I have done any better had I been the parents? How did one raise a child who questioned authority from the start?

I played my sad little tune as I thought about this, my mind drowning out the melody and all the other sounds around me. The open window let the mess of traffic pour into the apartment, but that existed outside my consciousness. I was lost on the vast surface of the sea of my thoughts.

It was as though I had been resisting it just for the sake of it. Just so I could say, once I gave in, that I had tried. It was a sad attempt to hand my guilt over to Jace. He could take the heat. He could live with it so that I wouldn’t have to think about it.

Muscle memory took over my fingers. The Moonlight Sonata was not a challenging piece; its first movement wasn’t, at least. I worked through the mistakes that came with not playing an instrument for a year. This summer, when I had returned home for a little break, I’d been too drained and worried to even touch it. I worked through them, emptying my head of thoughts, until the click of the front door pulled me back into the moment.

“You play beautifully,” Jace said after a few moments.

I put my hands in my lap. My shorts had lifted up my thighs in the sitting position. I turned around on the piano stool and looked at him. “Nice of you to lie.”

“Just take the compliment, Easton,” he said, his tone scolding but his lips quirking upward into a smile.

We eyed each other warily in the silence that followed. I couldn’t take my gaze off his lips. They were so sharp, so defined, so wonderfully hot. If he kissed me again, my knees would buckle, and I would be a sprawling mess before his feet. There was little I wanted more than that.

“Play some more,” Jace said.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to play the piano for the boy who hadn’t gotten a chance to learn it himself.

Jace inhaled, held his breath, and exhaled slowly. “I’m clearly doing this wrong,” he said.

“It’s not you, Jace,” I said. I rubbed my hands against my cotton shorts to wipe off the cool sweat breaking over my palms.

He let out a soft chuckle. “It’s not transactional, you know,” he said. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you because it’s important to me.”

I still didn’t understand why it was important. Few people had collected as many reasons to hate me through life as Jace had, but he didn’t seem to want that box open.

“Beyond that,” Jace said, leaning against the bookcase by the TV shelf, arms crossed on his chest. He inhaled and hesitated a single heartbeat longer than necessary. “Beyond that, I want you, Easton. I wanted you, back then, and the desire never went away even if I did.”

I was silent for the longest time. His words made my body heat up. It seemed so impossibly simple when he spoke. So long as I didn’t overthink it, the answers were right there in front of me. And it wasn’t like I hadn’t expected him to say this tonight.

I licked my lips and looked up. My breathing was shallow, and my fingers were restless. I had to hold my knees tightly to hide the tremors that passed through my hands. I could feel the creeping heat change the color of my cheeks. I’d always been so easy to read. Even now, I could see Jace’s pupils dilating. He knew exactly what went through my mind because my body couldn’t hide the truth.

“What would you do to me?” I asked. “If you could.”

Jace was quiet for a moment, as if processing the surprise. Then, with his typical swagger, he crossed the living room and stood ever so slightly too close to me. He knew precisely where my line was and stepped on it while looking into my eyes. He leaned down just enough to take my hand into his. His gaze was still on my face. “What would I do to you? Easy. I would kiss the back of your hand.” He brought his heated lips down on the skin of the back of my hand. “I would kiss each finger,” he said softly, his voice low. As his lips moved from one finger to the other, chills ran down my spine. “Then, I would bring you to your feet, Easton,” he said, lifting me gently to stand before him. Looking from ever so slightly above, he reached up with his hand and pinched my chin, tipping my head down. “I’d kiss your eyelids. If I could.” The whisper washed over my face as he pressed his lips against my closed eyes, each in turn. “And your nose,” he breathed, doing it as soon as the words left his lips.

“What else?” I asked, fighting with all my might against the shivers that threatened to rock my body. “Tell me.”

Jace smirked and shook his head a little. “Really, it would be easier just to show you.”

A snort-chuckle escaped me, followed quickly by an eye roll.

Taking a beat, Jace moved his hand to the back of my head. His fingers ran through my short hair, and he bared his teeth in a vicious grin. “I would make you fly, Easton.”

He would take every burden off my shoulders until I was as light as a feather. He would let me drift freely and endlessly into the vast open sky. Yes, he would make me fly. He could make me lose myself in him so that nobody could ever find me again.

I wanted this wave to sweep me far out, to wash me away from the shore, and to help me float. “Kiss me, then,” I said, no longer thinking about the next heartbeat, the next problem, the next devastating consequence. The very fabric of my life was flaking away. My beliefs about my parents, my career in hockey, my scholarship, my friendships. It was all crumbling into dust, but I could have fire if I wanted it. I could have the flames that had defined the way Jace and I had orbited one another.

Jace held the back of my head and brought his lips so teasingly close to mine. His teeth were incredibly white and perfectly sized, not a single imperfection on them. “You have to know,” he said, the heat of his body so near me that I could almost touch it. “You might not like the things I like.”

My throat was tight, tension screaming through every inch of my body. “Make me like them.”

I surprised him, I knew. He cracked a little smile as he reached up and closed his hand around my face, cupping my chin and letting his fingers sink gently into my cheeks. A small scoff of laughter escaped him as he nodded.

The ridiculous amount of pride I felt at doing something unpredictable terrified me. Being unlike myself excited me more than anything I could recall. For years, I’d wanted to be more like Jace or more like the boys in my school or the hockey players I faced off against. So long as I wasn’t myself, I was just fine.

“And if you don’t?” Jace asked, recalling me back to this moment.

I blinked. “I’m not scared of you, Jace,” I said. I couldn’t think of anything he could do to me that I wouldn’t want to be subjected to. So long as he was the one doing it.

Something must have told him how serious I was. He believed me. He saw it in my eyes. I’m yours, just like you asked. Take me. Rid me of these feelings. Make me forget .

Jace stepped closer, sliding his hand from my face to my throat. He didn’t squeeze his hand, but the grip was decisive and firm, letting me know he wasn’t messing around. What followed was infinitely more brilliant and destructive than a wildfire roaring through a forest. Burn what’s dead; burn what’s weak. Leave nothing behind but the soil for another life . Jace slammed his lips against mine as if some cosmic force had been holding him back until this very moment. His fingers sank lightly into the softer sides of my neck as I tipped my head upward and let his lips feel mine.

My body reacted instantly. After a summer of sad and empty hookups, I was sure I was done with this. I was sure it was out of my system. The last couple of guys I’d brought over hadn’t gotten me hard at all despite their best efforts. I’d been so far gone in the chase of the meaningless thrill that I missed it when it was happening. But not now.

Jace’s tongue ventured into my mouth, searching the tip of mine, and my cock swelled in my boxer briefs. It throbbed painfully as I opened my mouth to let Jace explore it with his tongue. I held my breath, not trusting myself that I would shudder and fold before him if I tried to exhale. Tense as a violin string, my muscles locked, my fists gripping Jace’s loose, oversized T-shirt.

This kiss alone was enough to make me tremble. What we’d done on the beach was only a crack, a breach of something immense, a hint of something larger and far more dangerous. And it was here.

The warmth of Jace’s tongue inside my mouth was the first thing I consciously noticed. The moment stretched out as Jace’s control over me increased. His hand moved from my neck to the back of my head, and he seemed to rise taller and stronger than before, kissing me from above and exploring every inch of my mouth.

I let him in. My body and my soul opened up to him, handing over the control he so desperately wanted. Whatever he was into, I wasn’t afraid of it. I was into one particular thing that made me his perfect fit. My life was defined by its tug and its pull. My entire existence was painted by my attempts to be rid of it.

I wanted him to be someone’s. To be his. I wanted him to have me in every way. If it meant his hands would wrap around my neck and hold me until my face was red and tears streamed from my eyes, then that was what it would be. If it meant he laid me down on the floor and pinned my face against it with his bare foot, then I welcomed it. If it meant he would kiss me for an hour, lift me in his arms, and care for me as he had on that first night, then I would be his to care for.

Jace kissed me harder, the blazing passion only intensifying between us. It was like he gave me a lifesaving medicine at the very last moment, and I was so eager to stay alive. So I kissed him back, thrusting my tongue into his mouth and feeling the sharpness of his pearly teeth as I did it.

I could feel the amused smile stretching his lips a moment before he pulled his head back. “You’re a feisty one, aren’t you?”

Somehow, those words rendered me powerless. He’d spoken to me with such simplicity that I felt like he was bigger and better and wiser than I could ever be. “Shut up,” I huffed.

“No,” Jace said. “I’m not gonna do anything you tell me, Easton. You better get used to it.”

A shiver ran down my arms, making my fingertips tingle. I held on to the oversized T-shirt as if letting go meant falling off Earth’s edge.

Jace pinched my chin, making me feel smaller than I was. It was his soul that was so large. It was his aura that filled this entire room to bursting. “This is how it’s gonna be, baby boy,” Jace said.

My eyebrows ticked upward in surprise. I hadn’t expected to hear those words from his mouth in a million years. They didn’t belong there, not in my fantasies, at least. Yet, as they rolled off his lips, they defined me and grounded me. I was his baby boy; he was my…I didn’t know yet.

My everything.

“You’re gonna do exactly what I tell you,” he said.

I found myself nodding.

“And you’re going to do only what I tell you until the moment I let you come,” he said in a teasingly soft whisper.

Tingles no longer remained just in my fingertips. My entire body was filled to the brim with them. Until he lets me? He assumed total control over me, and it felt like stepping into heaven. A twisted, delightful kind of heaven.

I nodded.

“Good boy,” Jace said, his hand falling onto my cheek, laying a gentle slap that did little more than warm up my flesh. As his hand landed there, he leaned in, holding my face in this spot as his lips pressed against mine once again. He kissed me with surprising care and incredible skill. I hated imagining Jace practicing kissing with someone else or, more likely, with many others. He was pure sex appeal, and he knew it. He was like the embodiment of desire, stripped free of worry, appearances, and expectations. He didn’t care how I saw him because he saw himself this way and shared it.

The brilliant glow around him was not really there. I wasn’t so far gone to believe that it was. But I saw it. As if he’d drawn in the moonlight, he glowed like a rare gem catching the light.

As he kissed me, our bodies melted against one another. The wetness of his tongue inside my mouth left me thirsty for more. The increasing pressure with which he held my face grounded me. Without it, I would have drifted impossibly far, but Jace kept me here.

What do you want me to do? The kiss came and went and came back. It was like the slow beating of a tired heart, in and out. I might have said the words aloud, or I might have only imagined them, but Jace lifted his head a little, his tongue dragging over my parted lips and touching the tip of my nose.

“Take off your clothes,” Jace whispered. He didn’t need to command it. I was so completely his that there was no question about me obeying or not.

He stepped back and kept his sharp gaze on me. As he looked down, I knew that my shorts did a poor job of keeping the bulge discreet. He could see it, and it sparked a glint in his eyes.

Jace crossed his arms on his chest. “Take them off,” he said, his voice low.

I took the edges of my T-shirt in my hands, then pulled it over my head, tossing the folded fabric on the floor.

Jace cocked his head, his eyes measuring me the same way they had measured me every time I walked around shirtless. “You’ve been teasing me a lot these days,” Jace said.

“I have,” I admitted, straightening my back and pulling my shoulders a little. I was so desperate to look good for him.

Jace cracked a smile. “I like it.”

In the silence that followed, I swallowed a lump in my throat. Every time I inhaled, my chest rose, and Jace watched intently. “The shorts,” he said. “But do it slowly.”

I pulled the string and untied the shorts, then stuck my fingers inside the waistband. What did it mean to undress slowly?

The heat in the room was unbearable, sweat breaking under my arms, but he seemed fresh and relaxed as he gazed at my shorts.

I tugged them down, the waistband catching the long bulge still trapped in my underwear, sliding over it, and moving down my legs. My shorts folded around my ankles, and I pulled them over each foot, then tossed them aside and straightened, my cock stretching the fabric of my underwear and my heart pounding so loudly that I could have sworn Jace heard it.

I lifted one foot and reached for my sock.

“Ts.” Jace sucked his teeth. “Leave them on.”

I put my foot down and waited. The tension was rising with every second that ticked away, but Jace seemed to enjoy it. He appeared so casual and confident that a sliver of envy ripped through me. If I could have a fraction of his confidence, I would conquer the world.

“You’re so fucking horny,” Jace pointed out in an amused tone. “This is going to be fun.” He stepped toward me and pressed the back of his finger against the middle of my chest. He dragged it excruciatingly slowly up my chest, then down over my pec. When the back of his finger moved over my nipple, he closed his thumb and forefinger around it, not yet pinching. It sent shivers through my torso, nonetheless. “I like making you horny, Easton,” he said softly, his voice a husky vibration in the air between us. “And you’re so easy to turn on.”

I balled my fists. This neared the line of taunting I knew so well, but only because it was true. Even his teasing that seemed so merciless and cruel made me horny.

He pressed his open palm against the right side of my chest, feeling the firm roundness of my pec and brushing the inner curve with his thumb. He dragged his hand down slowly, feeling me like I was a shiny object he was interested in purchasing. His hand moved over my abs, slowing down without a shred of mercy as he neared the edge of my underwear. He dragged the moment out, knowing precisely what to do to stretch my patience.

He knew what I wanted. I wanted him in my bed, moving, grappling, ramming into me until I lost touch with reality. Perhaps because he knew this, he didn’t hurry.

Until I let you come , he’d said. Hairs rose on the back of my neck as I thought about those words. He would make it last until tears filled my eyes, and I begged him to let me. If he was half as good as he bragged, I had no doubt he could push me to that point.

Jace’s hand brushed lightly against my hard cock, making it pulse. The muscles in my face trembled, and I bit my lip to hold back a moan.

He only smiled victoriously. “Now me,” he said. “Take my clothes off, Easton.”

Whether watching me do what he asked or showing me that all it took was a command was the thing that turned him on, I didn’t know for sure, but Jace’s eyes glimmered as he watched me step closer.

I took his T-shirt first, pulling it up his torso. Revealing inches of his flesh, the dark streaks, lines, and shadows of ink that decorated his skin appeared as I moved inch by slow inch.

“Which god?” I asked as the tattoo that spelled those blasphemous words appeared from under his T-shirt. Son of God. For an orphan like Jace—and like myself—his tattoo carried a lot of weight.

“Adonis,” he said, but there was no conviction. “Apollo,” he added, as if offering me choices. “Eros.” His voice dropped lower when he said the last one. The god of desire. I could see it.

Jace lifted his arms as I pulled the T-shirt up, taking it off and tossing it aside. Every instinct told me to step forward and press our bodies together. I wanted his heat, his strength, his skin to touch me. I wanted to run my fingers through his stylishly messy hair. I wanted to feel his thin, dark mustache against my lip again when he kissed me, but Jace watched me with a steel-like intensity that locked me in place.

When I reached for the button on his pants, he took my hands in his and moved them away. His commands had been short-lived, but I didn’t point that out.

Jace looked into my eyes. “Not like that,” he said, the effort to suppress a smile so evident on his face. “With your teeth.”

My mouth watered, and I swallowed, my eyes wide and locked onto his face. How had I spent so long resisting him? Every word he said was perfectly placed. It would have taken the stubbornness of a hundred donkeys to match what I had done to us.

But instead of kneeling and undoing the button with my mouth, I decided to see where the real lines between us lay. I leaned in, settling my head in the crook of his neck, my lips following the length of his pulsing vein. I could feel his heartbeats where I kissed him, dragging my lips down to his collarbone and over his chest. The mean, descending eagle tattooed across his chest was under my lips now, and I continued to kiss Jace’s flesh. The wing, the head, the talons that marked the middle of Jace’s torso. How much it must have hurt to have needles pierce you there.

I moved my head to the left as I bent my knees and lowered my body. His nipple was already tight and small by the time I found it with my lips. My teeth bared, I bit the tip of his nipple, making Jace inhale sharply. “You naughty thing,” he said, half-amused and half-preparing to get back at me.

Jace always settled his debts. I wondered when our past was going to catch up on us, but I knew that it wouldn’t pass us by. Perhaps he would find a creative way like this to get back at me for all that I had done.

I kissed his stomach, flat and tight, with muscles clearly straining underneath the taut skin. My mouth parted, hot breath leaving my lungs and washing over Jace’s body. It was a raw, uncontrolled move as I pressed my face hard against his abdomen and dropped to my knees before him.

My wrists were still trapped in Jace’s hands, my fingers pressing the sides of his waist, and I dropped my head lower, taking the edge of his pants between my teeth. I bit it hard and yanked the fabric left and right, doing nothing to the button that held his pants still on him. I tugged it again, pulling back and to the left, gnawing at it as if it would do something useful.

The frustration was building up within me. He did this on purpose, making me wait. I had agreed to his terms; I was his until he let me come. Would he ever let me at all? The thought was so terrifying in this moment that I trembled all over and yanked the waist of his pants harder, unhooking the slit off the button and letting his pants slide softly down his legs.

Jace kicked his sneakers off and stepped out of his pants.

All that was left between me and the thing I desired the most was a pair of black boxer briefs. Jace’s cock was hard, its intimidating length stretched the black fabric thin, poking off the side. His balls filled the tight space of his underwear, forming a large curve between his legs.

Saliva filled my mouth and dampened the corners of my lips after the effort to unbutton his pants. Jace released my right hand, but I knew better than to touch him. I let it drop to my side as he cupped the back of my head, bringing my face close and pressing it against his crotch.

The light scent of his musk mixed with the fabric softener that still lingered on his boxer briefs. It crawled into my nostrils and made my eyes roll upward for a moment. I inhaled deeply, wanting that scent to soak deep into my lungs and form a new memory in the deepest parts of my brain. I wanted it on me and in me forever.

“Easy,” Jace said as I rubbed the side of my face against the throbbing thickness of his cock. He had rendered me into a desperate mess, and I lived for every second of our sins. “Take them off, boy.”

I bristled at being called that, but I couldn’t deny the weight the word had coming from his lips. He had this way of balancing my feelings with everything he did. He infuriated me, yet he made me want him so much more.

I opened my mouth wide, feeling the hardness of his cock between my teeth. I didn’t bite. Instead, I searched for a spot where I could close my teeth around the fabric of his underwear and take them off. It was much harder than I’d expected; my mouth and nose burrowed in his crotch, searching, grasping for a bit of fabric. When I tried to bite his waistband, it slipped from between my teeth too many times, filling me with the white heat of hatred. I wanted to shred those boxers with my teeth, yet I couldn’t even catch a thread like this.

Finally, with hope zinging too brightly and quickly within me, I snapped my teeth around the seam along the side of the front, just where the thickness of his cock pushed the fabric away from his body. Holding on to the seam with all my might, I tugged his underwear down.

The biggest issue was the one I was the most eager to see with my own eyes. The waistband hooked itself along the length of Jace’s cock and wouldn’t move. However hard I pulled down, it only nudged his cock down with the waistband, and desperation burned through me. I gritted my teeth and pulled my head back, stretching his underwear and pulling the waistband over his cock. It sprung free as I yanked his underwear down, still holding it between my teeth. I didn’t dare let it out, but Jace’s cock stood stiffly against my face, its heat searing my cheek. I wanted to drag my lips along its length more than I wanted the next breath of air.

I resisted the urge and pressed my face against his crotch again, dragging his underwear down the length of his legs. The side of my face rubbed against his thigh as Jace released my other hand. I planted both fists on the floor between his legs and bent down as if to worship him like the highest deity. I lay before his feet, my head reaching the floor with his underwear still between my teeth.

“Hold still,” Jace said, his soft, deep voice only a whisper that barely passed through the hum of blood that filled my ears. My chin touched the floor. I held his underwear firmly as he pulled each foot out.

He stepped back and lifted his arms, fingers running through his messy hair and threading them on the back of his neck. His elbows stuck out to the sides as I rose slowly and gazed up at him, his black boxer briefs hanging from my mouth. Dammit, I’d worked too hard to get them off just to drop them. So I held on to them and watched his body. The triangular shape of his torso, from his broad chest to his narrow waist, was decorated with the most incredible designs. His skin was smooth, shaved clean all the way down. And his cock, firm and standing at full mast, drew my attention at last.

I looked at it, my saliva soaking Jace’s underwear, and I committed it to my memory. Its impressive length, its intimidating thickness, its veins, and the slight curving to his right hip. Its head was dark with all the blood concentrated inside, the slit damp with precum. When a pulse made it lift, I could feel it inside me like a phantom throb that would fill me with his cum.

Shivers ran down my spine, and warmth spread through my insides.

“Open your mouth, Easton,” Jace said, sliding his hands down the front of his torso and stepping toward me. “I want you to taste it.”

Jace reached over and took his underwear out of my mouth. My cock throbbed hard, still trapped in the tight space of my boxer briefs, as I opened my mouth for Jace. Inching closer on my knees, I neared Jace as he tossed his underwear on the coffee table next to us. The carpet was soft under my knees, reducing the friction as I came closer to Jace. And when I was there, he cupped the back of my head again and stepped forward, his dick rubbing against my cheek, its heat almost enough to brand me, and Jace pressed my face against his groin, my open mouth folding around the base of his cock.

I pushed my tongue out and felt the underside of his cock on it. Inhaling deeply, I looked up, Jace’s torso a relief of curves from this angle. I pulled my head back, sliding my tongue and lips along his length.

Jace had this playful way of biting his lip when he liked something I did. He looked down, his gaze catching mine, and leaned back until the tip of his cock passed over my tongue and lips. The flavor of his precum was like an explosion of senses, making my body alert and soaking into my tongue. He reached down and held his cock firmly before my lips as I licked the tip once, twice, three times. I stopped counting after a moment, pushing my tongue out and around, tasting him with increasing speed.

I wrapped my lips tightly around the tip of his cock, sucking the air out of my mouth, and pressed my tongue against the slip where the flavor of his precum still lingered after I had wiped it clean.

Jace winced, excited and surprised, and moved his hand around the back of my head, swinging his hips forward in a small, teasing way. “Do you think you can take it?” he asked, his dick pushing a little deeper into my mouth.

“Mm-hm,” I said, short of breath.

Jace probed me a little deeper. “You’re good at this,” he said. Somehow, the words embarrassed me like I wasn’t supposed to have partners before him. As if his was the only dick I should have sucked.

I hummed my agreement again. Damn him. He should be happy that I was good at it.

He saw the righteous anger in my eyes; I did not doubt it. He smirked. He was the most satisfied when he got to me. “But we can do better,” he said darkly, pushing his cock an inch deeper into my mouth.

I bobbed my head back and forth, sucking him harder and letting my tongue tease the tip of his cock’s head. The tip of my tongue passed over his slit, making Jace bite his lip.

“Wanna choke on it, Easton?” he asked. His face lit up when he asked the question, determination passing over it as I blinked and murmured my ascent.

Jace clasped his hands together on the back of my head, my heart thundering in my chest as I realized what I had agreed to. What if we had different ideas of the limits? What if my stubborn nature refused to stop when it was too much? But the fear was the spice that elevated this dish.

To be with Jace, the only person on this planet who should always have been off-limits and kept at arm’s length, was a dangerous game to play. And the more dangerous it was, the more I wanted its rewards.

I inhaled deeply as Jace held my head in place and swung his hips forward, sliding deeper into my mouth. His cock pressed against my throat, the muscles there tightening by instinct. He was patient and determined at the same time, pulling back and sliding deeper in again, forcing my throat to accept him, to get used to him.

Even as I relaxed as best as I could, each thrust made my muscles constrict. Jace rose to the tips of his toes, making me lift my head. As I did, my throat loosened, and Jace swung his hips forward, shoving himself down into my mouth and pushing hard against the back of my throat.

The flow of air was cut off. My throat tightened, but Jace had already rammed himself deep inside, so my chest shuddered, and I glared at him wildly, holding as still as I could and letting him use me for his pleasure as if I were nothing more than a toy.

But he felt it just as I did. He felt the tension and the nearing limit of my endurance. He bit his lip and held my gaze, holding his breath as if our places were reversed, counting off the heartbeats.

A convulsion, a reflex of some sort, passed through me, and Jace pulled his cock back, letting the tip remain between my lips as I opened my mouth and heaved in a deep breath of air, nearly choking on saliva as I inhaled quickly.

Recovering in a moment, I licked Jace’s cock and sucked him quickly, giving him the temporary pleasure before he wanted to do this again. And it came, just a few heartbeats later, that Jace rose to his toes and impaled me deep down my throat, making my heart skip a beat and my lungs burn as I held my breath, spending the oxygen quickly and unable to exhale.

Tears filled my eyes within moments as Jace jerked his hips back and forth, lodging himself deep in my throat. The cough that rocked me was the moment when Jace pulled back, letting me catch my breath and sliding deep into me again. Each time, the act seemed to flow more easily. My throat relaxed, and my mouth filled with slick saliva, but tears still rolled from the corners of my eyes, and sweat still made my hair damp.

The power was all his. The control was in his hands. Yet I trusted him. The more he used me, the more I trusted his intentions. Bit by bit, I let go of the worries that underlined it all. I gave myself to him and knew that he was more than capable of finding those blurry lines of what I could and couldn’t endure. I could trust him not to step over them.

Jace’s body pressed against my face as he applied pressure on the back of my head. I felt his big, heavy balls on my chin and his lower abdomen pressing my nose. He throbbed inside my throat and quickly pulled back, grunting and heaving air into his lungs as if he hadn’t been breathing all along.

I wiped my wet chin with the back of my hand as Jace dropped to his knees, his eyes aflame and his lips stretching into a somewhat proud smile. “You kinky thing,” he purred. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

I wiped my eyes next, tears clustering my eyelashes and drying slowly on my cheeks. I was breathing quickly, my lungs burning less and less. “I want you,” I said, my voice hoarse and raw.

“I know you do,” Jace said. Even the cockiness he tossed around so lightly had some charm to it. He pinched my chin and looked into my eyes. “I’ve no idea how you resisted me so far.”

I snorted and slapped his hand away, but he only laughed.

“Let me make you feel good, Easton,” he said. It was one of those things where he knew I would do as I was told, so he didn’t bother to insert the command to his tone.

“I’m yours,” I said, softening my voice. “Whatever you want.”

Jace gestured at the armchair with his head.

I got to my feet, then winced as my dick throbbed and was pressed tightly in place by my underwear. I reached to undress, but Jace sucked his teeth and followed me to the armchair. He showed me the seat, then said to lean on the back of the chair.

It was a large, soft thing with a thick padded back and armrests. My knees sank into the seat, and my arms folded on the top of the chair, my head resting in the fold of my right arm. Behind me, Jace leaned down, kissing the back of my neck. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I remember knowing how to want someone,” he said softly, his words vibrating against my bare skin. “Did you know that, Easton?” he asked and kissed the length of my spine. “You were my first.”

I knew what he meant. Jace had been my awakening, too. How could he not be? In a place where we had to spend all our time together, a place where only we understood each other in some twisted way that left us envious and hateful toward one another, we had always been bound to get here. This was the destination where our lives had been leading us.

Jace’s lips covered the small of my back, and he slowly pulled the waistband of my underwear over my ass. He exhaled, his warm breath washing over the smooth, tender skin of my butt, and his lips dragged through the middle.

Jace folded my underwear just under my cheeks, showing no mercy or interest in taking them all the way off and letting me touch myself. I knew better than to try.

His tongue touched the skin between my cheeks, and he dragged it down, breathing out as his tongue found my warm hole. By reflex alone, I clenched, tension returning to my muscles.

Jace licked me again, testing me and getting me used to the sensation. His tongue worked me in small moves, his head leaning in and moving back. His hands rested on my cheeks, squeezing them, pushing them together, then pulling them apart, and a shuddering breath left my chest as Jace buried his face in and pressed his tongue hard against me. The wetness cooled as he exhaled, but he licked me harder again, and chills spread through my body.

If Jace was merciless in taking pleasure for himself, he was relentless in giving it. The moans rose from the depths of my chest and dragged out of me as I clawed the armchair’s padding, thrusting my ass back against Jace and wanting him to give me all he could.

Jace moved his hands off my ass. His arms moved between my legs and outward, wrapping around my waist from underneath me. As he rammed his tongue against my hole, I found myself twisting and coiling, lifting my right leg until it rested on Jace’s right shoulder.

I held on to the back of the armchair with all the strength in my arms, but Jace lifted me off the seat of the chair. He lifted me in one incredible move, my left leg tossing back and resting on his left shoulder. As he pulled me up and back, my body stretched, but Jace worked my hole ruthlessly as I hung suspended before him.

As I cried out, my insides ravaged by the intensity of my feelings, Jace ate me harder, pressing his tongue against my hole so hard that it felt as if he wanted to penetrate me with it.

The muscles in my arms shivered as the effort to support myself on the back of the armchair drained all my energy.

Either it was luck, or Jace was so in tune with me that he felt it, but he lowered me in the next moment, returning me to kneel on the seat of the chair.

After he moved his arms back, I felt his finger probe me. He pressed it against my hole and made motions around it, circling it and applying pressure in small increments. “Fuck, baby,” he said, his lips so close to my hole that I could feel his hot breath. “You’ve no idea how much I want to make you mine.”

“Make me,” I panted. “I’m yours, Jace.”

“Are you?” he asked, the pressure still rising. He was gentle but unstoppable. His finger worked me slowly, and I felt it when he spat on my hole, his saliva slicking me for his finger.

“I am,” I said. “I’m yours.”

Jace wrapped his other arm around my waist, holding me in place, and a grunt broke out of me as his finger entered my body.

“Whatever you want,” I whispered in haste. “Have it.”

“You are what I want,” Jace said, his finger reaching smoothly deep into me until his other knuckles pressed against my taint. My hole tightened around his finger, my dick throbbing. “You’re all I want, Easton.”

His finger slipped back out, and he quickly pushed it in again, filling me with ease. The prep I’d done before made all the difference, and Jace could see it.

“You knew,” he said, his voice taking on that amused quality. “You knew you were going to give yourself to me tonight.”

“I can’t resist it anymore,” I breathed. His finger touched the right spot, making my toes curl and my voice crack. “I want you, Jace.” And as he fingered me more quickly, I panted, “Fuck me. I need you…please…”

Jace didn’t listen. He wanted me to beg and plead, so he rammed his finger into me like that was all he intended to do. He pushed his middle finger inside of me a minute later, stretching me with both in slow, smooth motions that only left me hungry for more.

“Are you on PrEP?” he asked.

My brain was swimming into the far distance, my muscles tight with tension and my growing need for his dick almost unbearable. “Yes,” I huffed.

“Good boy,” he said. The fact that I had continued to take the preventive therapy weeks after he had moved in and weeks into resisting his teasing flirtation seemed to amuse him. “I am, too.”

“Good,” I said roughly. “That’s how I want it.”

“Lube?” Jace asked.

“Bathroom. Bottom drawer.” Those were perhaps the last words I was able to form coherently. As Jace pulled his fingers out of me, he told me not to move. I didn’t. I drifted out of my own body, and all that remained were sensations, physical impulses that had nothing to do with my consciousness.

Jace positioned himself behind me. A heartbeat had passed. Perhaps days. I didn’t know or care. If we could be like this, suspended in this moment of anticipation, for all time, I would have done it in a breath. I would have enchanted us to transform into marble, our essence forever in the stone, at the very moment when Jace’s hand touched my hip. I knew nothing more intimate and caring than the way he brushed his thumb over me and told me what a good boy I was.

I didn’t know the purpose of his words. I didn’t know what he meant. Was I his puppy? Was I his submissive? Was I his little? Perhaps it was just a thing you said. Did it matter?

“Are you ready?” Jace asked.

I had been waiting for this for hours. I’d been waiting for years, never believing it could be real. “Yes,” I said and held my breath.

Jace pressed his cock against my hole. The lube was already warm and slick, and he had used plenty of it. My nails dug into the armchair’s padding as the pressure moved from zero to a hundred, making my eyes bulge. I groaned and forced myself to relax, to open a little more for him, and the pain seared through me as if I had never done anything like this.

Jace pulled back, the tip of his cock rubbing against my hole for a few long moments before he whispered to relax.

I tried again, feeling his hard cock touching me. The contact of bare flesh against bare flesh excited me madly, and I held my breath. I let him lean into me, my abs tensing as I forced my hole to relax, to open, to accept him.

Jace groaned as a moan left my lips, the moment of pain flashing through me and melting into pure, white heat. The heat mellowed a fraction of a moment later, spreading warmth through me as my body welcomed him.

My hole tightened by reflex, but Jace’s cock was well inside of me, its girth feeling strange there, yet belonging inside of me like nobody else.

Jace rubbed my ass with both hands. “Good job, baby,” he whispered. The way he moved so smoothly between making me feel like a toy and like his most prized partner was incredible. I accepted it both ways; I could be a shiny object of his desire, and I could be his baby boy in need of his care. I could be two irreconcilable things at once.

Jace swung his hips back before thrusting them forward, impaling me deeper with each move of his body. His hands circled my cheeks and moved to my hips, holding me still as our bodies connected into one incredible shape.

The intricate dance of power and control began. I wanted him to have it all. I wanted him to strip away every appearance of choice from me. And at the same time, I wanted him to adore me for it.

For Jace, this was a game of conquest and seeking the lines. He explored the possibilities and looked for the edges of my comfort, rubbing my back or lifting my leg. He played with me, moving his hand over the pained bulge in my underwear, never pulling them any lower than necessary for his cock to fill me. He felt me throb and chuckled, that motherfucker, never putting his hand back there again. He wouldn’t let me come, I knew. I could have sworn on it.

Instead, Jace dragged his hands up my back and wrapped them around my neck. He held me tightly, ramming himself deep into me and closing his hands around my neck to exert the highest control of my body.

He pulled me up and back, one arm reaching over and keeping me in a chokehold, rendering me immovable. His cock probed deep into me as I straightened, my back pressing against Jace’s front. He barged into me, this angle making it perfect to rub against my prostate. The sensation made me so ready to come, so desperate for the orgasm that would end this torment and this pleasure. The need for it ripped me apart.

He must have realized it then. He had fucked me so well that my body was no longer in any control. A few more minutes like this, and I wouldn’t need his permission. I wouldn’t need my hands for it at all. The building up toward the climax was excruciatingly beautiful, a sensation so great and terrible that it frightened me.

Jace stepped back, and his cock slipped out of me, leaving a warmth in its absence. I yearned for it, almost whimpering as I exhaled.

“Come here,” Jace said, stepping away.

I got up, a flash of distant, subdued pain passing through me as I turned around. He was still hard as hell, his cock slick with the lube he’d found in the drawer of my secrets. As I looked at it, my teeth closed around my lip. Did I really want it? Or did I want to shock him? Perhaps it was both, but I found myself sliding to my knees, taking the reins for a single moment and stunning Jace into silence. He submitted to my will this time as I leaned in, opening my mouth wide and taking his cock in.

The gentle scent of strawberry lube mixed with Jace’s musk as I took him deep into my mouth.

“I fucking knew you liked sucking dick,” Jace said in a low growl, happier than I’d ever seen him.

I looked up, my gaze meeting his, and I moved my head back and forth, sucking him harder and faster with each heartbeat.

Jace dropped his head back, grunting as I sped up, then tensed. He pushed my head back and chuckled. “You’re not getting off that easy,” he said tightly and bent down, catching me under my arms and lifting me up. Never one to be predictable, Jace slammed his lips against mine, kissing me and taking the scents of his cock and my lube right off my tongue.

A moment later, as I swung on my feet, dazed by the intensity of the kiss, Jace pointed to the chair again. “There.” He led me a step back and made me sit on the armrest. “Do you think you can bend that way?”

I didn’t train so hard only for good looks. Confident that I knew what he wanted, I leaned back, my torso resting on the seat of the armchair and the small of my back hanging on the armrest.

Jace lifted my legs high up, folding them back until my knees came close to my shoulders. He peeled off one sock and the next, then kissed my feet each in turn, trying to provoke a reaction from me. When it didn’t tickle me, he seemed to shrug and turn his attention to the rest of me.

The armchair was comfortable and the padding soft enough that nothing hurt. Jace towered before me, planting my feet on his chest, one on each side of the eagle tattoo. And when that was done, he snatched my underwear and yanked them up, sliding them along my legs until they were stretched between my ankles.

“Fuck me, Jace,” I whimpered, my desperation breaking all barriers.

Jace’s cock slipped into me smoothly and painlessly, the tip pressing hard against my prostate. My toes curled, digging into Jace’s pecs as I moaned and cried out, taking him deeper and deeper until he was all in.

Jace wrapped his hands around my throat and leaned his weight down on my feet, bending my legs deeper. My ass was positioned perfectly for him, not moving this way or that, simply there to take him.

“You like that?” Jace huffed. “You like my dick inside of you, Easton?”

“Fuck yes,” I said.

“Are you mine?” he demanded.

I panted, unable to speak. As if pushing a boulder up a mountain, I dragged a single “Yes” over my lips.

Sweat broke over Jace’s brow, drops sliding down his face. My body was covered with a layer of perspiration, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the mess or the embarrassing sounds we made or the rising scents of sex and lube. I only wanted it to stay this way until the end of time.

“I’m gonna make you my bitch, Easton,” Jace said, his eyes on me, desire and appetite rising in them. “Would you like that?”

“Uh-huh,” I moaned. “Do it.”

“Open your mouth,” he commanded.

I did. The thirst for him was such that nothing would ever quench it. But this came close. Jace leaned over me, forming spit in his mouth for a moment before letting it drip down from his lips. It landed on my extended tongue, and I swallowed it instantly. “More,” I begged.

With an amused scoff, Jace tightened his hands around my throat and did that dirty thing again. Every time he raised the stakes, I raised them, too. He knew now that I was more than happy to match his freak and double down on every move.

Jace moved his hands along my legs and pulled my underwear off each foot, never losing the pace at which he filled my body with his. I could keep taking him like this all night, but the rise toward the climax wasn’t slowing down. He fucked me as if he knew my body as well as I did. He did it so skillfully that I couldn’t help but wonder where he had been and what he had done in all these years.

How do you not know that? I asked myself this uselessly, then switched my brain off.

“Look at that pretty dick,” Jace grunted.

I was hard as marble, my balls tight and my taint thick and pronounced.

“You’re so fucking ready to blow,” he said, amused.

“Fuck me harder,” I growled.

Jace did it as if to prove a point. Pleasure, competition, sweet vengeance; whatever this was, he was welcome to repeat this every day of every week. What he had done to me tonight was the thing I had been chasing all summer. He had unlocked something in me that I didn’t want to stow away again.

“Are you gonna come?” he asked, almost as if he were taunting me. Are you gonna cry? The words were so familiar and so foreign at once. The tone reminded me that we had once been adopted as brothers in all but blood.

Why did he have to make it a kink? And why did it work so fucking well?

“Yes,” I breathed. “Please. Fuck, Jace. Please…”

He kept up the pace and seemed to think about it for the shortest of moments, then gave in. His left hand rested on the side of my chest, and his right moved to my cock. “You’re so fucking hard, baby boy,” he purred. And then, as if to see how far I would go—like I hadn’t already shown him that I would go all the way—he pulled on that expression of rising mischief. “I’ll make you come,” he said. “But you have to open your mouth.”

The realization blinded me with its promising allure, and air hitched in my throat, but I did as he asked. I opened my mouth wide and let him stroke me. Between his cock ramming hard against my prostate and keeping me on the edge of climax and his hand stroking me firmly, I was beyond that invisible, irresistible line in half a minute.

A shudder passed through me, and a moan ripped from my strangled throat before the first ribbon of white cum sprayed my face and landed in my mouth. Its strange, sweet, and salty flavor soaked into my tongue as my dick throbbed and more of it sprayed over me. Some landed on my chest, some in my hair, but Jace was determined to push me to the furthest limit, keeping it up for a few moments longer as the last drops of cum trickled from my cock and dripped over my lips and tongue.

The pulsing, throbbing sensation spread through my entire body. My hole was tight around Jace’s cock, and my toes curled hard, probably scratching his smooth, beautiful skin. He fucked me harder for a dozen more heartbeats, then let his dick slide out of me and gripped it with his hand.

My mouth remained open, and the white heat of his orgasm sprayed my lips and chin as Jace stepped closer to my face. He filled my mouth with his cum, its heat and flavor wrapping around my soul.

“Look at that,” Jace purred, panting for air as soon as the words were out. “Look at the mess we made.”

I reached up for his cock, taking it into my hand and extending my tongue. Cum trickled from the corners of my lips. If you thought I couldn’t take this, you never would have offered it , I thought. He never would have wanted me in the first place if we weren’t the two sides of the same faulty penny.

I sucked the tip of his cock, making him inhale sharply at the sensation. And when I let him go, my legs hanging over the armrest of the chair, Jace helped me sit up. Wet stains remained on the chair both where my head had been and where I had just been sitting after I rose to my feet.

I swallowed once, the sinful cocktail of cum and spit passing through my body, and I looked straight into Jace’s eyes.

He gazed back and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “You’re mine.”

I held his gaze for a few moments and stepped closer. “Kiss me like this and I’ll believe you.”

Cocking one side of his lips into a wicked smile, Jace leaned in. He pressed his lips against mine, tasting both of us and taking in plenty of evidence of our sins. He kissed me hungrily as if we hadn’t just had mind-shattering orgasms, his hands exploring my body as if I were something completely new and interesting.

And after he pulled his head back, our bodies pressed together and his hands firmly holding my ass, he nodded again. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun.”

I didn’t doubt that for a second.

But when the day came to pay the price, would we survive it? I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to think about it. One thing was for sure: these debts would follow us forever. And they would catch up no matter how fast we ran.