Page 42 of Echo, the Sniper (Men of PSI #2)

“Because it would have put you in danger,” I yelled at him, my hands balling into fists as the cork on that bottle where I’d been stuffing all my emotions finally popped and ricocheted me straight into chaos.

“You think I’m too stupid to recognize the danger I was in?

Fine. I can’t help you with that. All I know is that if I had the same set of circumstances, I’d do it all over again without changing a damn thing, because I am smart enough to recognize the danger that you were in. ”

“You keep going back to that,” he muttered, eyes narrowing on me as if I were some sort of puzzle he needed to solve. “What shits me is I can’t figure out why. In case you need reminding, I’m your bodyguard, not the other way around.”

Ugh . “When you tell me that a phone screen lighting up could put you at risk, that was all I needed to hear. It wouldn’t have mattered if Pennywise the clown was breaking in. I still wouldn’t have called you.”

He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe his own ears.

“That’s fucked up, Rory. You’re not the one who should be doing the protecting around here.

I mean, it’s like you put my wellbeing ahead of your own, despite the fact that you’re the one who’s got some fuckwit trying to kill you, not me.

There’s no reason for you to do that unless.

..” The silence that fell seemed both explosive and damning, and for no reason at all I felt my neck, ears and face prickle with so much heat I was sure I was about to explode.

“Rory... have you fallen in love with me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I shot back, knowing all the while my idiotic blushing face made a liar out of me.

If dying of embarrassment was actually a thing, I was pretty sure I’d be dropping any minute now.

But damn it, at least I’d go down swinging.

“Maybe I love the way you’ve shown me that kissing and sex can be amazing, rather than something that has to be endured.

But I’m not so stupid as to confuse that with love. ”

The look he gave me was indecipherable. “Well then, maybe I’m the stupid one.”

“What does that mean?”

“Figure it out.”

“Sorry, but as you’ve already pointed out, I don’t have the brain capacity to figure anything out.

And since I’m sick of this conversation,” I added, turning my attention from him to rummage through the bags in search of toiletries and something to sleep in, “I’m going to have a hot bath and go to bed.

Enjoy the couch or guestroom or whatever. ”

Plucking up a couple bags I turned toward the hallway, grimly satisfied I’d managed to get the last word. That satisfaction fizzled when he moved so fast it was almost like he’d teleported in front of me, barring my way.

“I am the stupid one,” he semi-repeated, his eyes burning over me so fiercely he didn’t even have to touch me to hold me still; the weight of his gaze alone was enough to pin me to the spot.

“See, you’ve been handling all the shit going down in your life with so much grit that I keep forgetting—like the fucking idiot I am—that there are pieces of you that are broken.

Broken by a bastard who was never worthy of breathing your air, much less being your husband. ”

“Please, I’m not—”

“So when I let my dumbass character flaw rear its ugly head and I lashed out at you, I hit you in a place where I knew it would hurt the most, because that place had already been shattered by the bastard who came before me.”

I swallowed hard against the sudden, painful knot lodged in my throat and remained silent. What could I say? He’d hurt me because I’d let him know where I hurt the most.

Stupid, trusting... fool .

That was me in a nutshell.

“I know I fucked up,” he went on, his voice still that soft, don’t-scare-the-wild-animal sound I refused to trust. “And there’s no excuse for me being an asshole, other than having a damn heart attack when I saw you pop up out of nowhere like you did and landing yourself in a dangerous situation.”

“I know. I was there.” I couldn’t have kept the bitterness from my voice if I tried, so I didn’t. “Remind me to never tell you about any other past wounds I might still have. You’ll just turn around and bludgeon me with them the first chance you get.”

“Never again. You can count on that,” he added when I just sighed and looked beyond him to where I hoped there was a bed with my name on it. “And not just because I can’t stand the thought of being the man who hurt you, but because I want to be the man who heals you.”

That snapped my attention back to him. “Heal me? I don’t need to be healed.” What I needed was to be left alone. All alone, where no one could hurt me again.

“Rory.” He began to reach out for me, but froze in his tracks when I took a half-step back.

A ragged breath escaped him at the clear rejection, and there was no mistaking the pain that flashed in his eyes.

“I’m not calling you weak, or anything like that.

I’m just being real here, okay? Everyone has something inside them that needs mending, you most of all. ”

I shook my head. “No, Echo—”

“You need it more than most because your trust was shattered again and again by the very people who were closest to you. First by your parents, who led you to believe you couldn’t make it by yourself, when you’d been born with the strength to stand against the world all on your own.”

“Please—”

“Then you were betrayed by a so-called husband who made a sacred oath to protect you, only to break it with cruel laughter and public humiliation that very same day. That piece of shit even managed to break the trust you had in yourself and your ability to intellectually process. And I hit you in that exact same spot because I become a fucking asshole when I’m freaked out.

You’re not the stupid one, you hear me? I am, and so is everyone who ever dared to make you doubt the incredible woman you are.

I just need to remember to be more attentive to the hurts you’re carrying around inside you, rather than fuck up like a fool and give you more, however unintentionally. ”

Damn it, that lump in my throat was trying to strangle me. “It seemed pretty intentional from where I was standing.”

“I swear it wasn’t, and I’m sorry, Rory. I’m so damn sorry.”

Everything inside me froze as I stared at him.

Had... he actually apologized? Dane had never apologized for all the things he did or said.

Not once. Not even when I’d sat before him, bleeding and trying to tend to the wounds he’d given me.

Not that I would have ever believed he’d actually been sorry for all the things he’d done to me.

But still...

It was oddly cleansing to hear those words from Echo.

It told me that I wasn’t overreacting, or being dramatic for having hurt feelings.

There was no gaslighting here, no victim-blaming.

I hadn’t brought this upon myself, and I hadn’t deserved his sharp words.

He knew that, because he was sorry for them.

God, how simple that was. How beautiful.

And how completely unlike Dane.

That made me wince. I had to stop comparing them. It wasn’t fair to Echo, but just as importantly, it wasn’t fair to me . I deserved a life without Dane’s shadow constantly haunting it. All I had to do was decide to let everything about him go.

Forever.

“There were reasons I didn’t call for help.

” My words sounded rusty, like they’d been ripped from a place filled with disrepair and neglect.

It was a place I let no one see, not even myself, though its constant, dark presence burrowed a hole deep inside my soul.

“Whenever I asked for help in the past, my late husband would ridicule me for being too useless to figure things out for myself. I didn’t want you to see me like that. ”

“Rory.” The way he said my name was like a sound of pain.

Pain for me, but as I looked into his eyes I realized there was also a deep, jagged pain in him that I could ever think that of him.

“Jesus fuck , Rory, you are many, many things—strong and brave, funny and resilient, and so damn beautiful because of all these things. But useless ? No fucking way does that word describe you. It never could.”

The terrible knot in my throat finally began to loosen, and the relief was so great it made my eyes water.

Or maybe it was his words that did it.

“There was another reason I didn’t call for your help.

” Breathing came more easily without that huge knot in the way, and I realized now was the time for honesty.

With him, and with myself. “I couldn’t bear the possibility of putting you in danger, because you were right.

Or at least, on the road to being right. ”

His gaze bored into mine. “How was I right? Tell me.”

“I didn’t want to reach out to you for fear of putting you in danger because.

.. because I think I’m falling for you. If it makes you feel better to think of it as a bodyguard crush, go ahead,” I added in a rush, babbling when he just looked at me with those piercing eyes.

“I’ve been trying to tell myself that very same thing—that what I’m feeling is nothing more than a crush.

Or that I’m confusing lust with love since you’re so incredibly hot you make me wish I’d been born with more hands so I could touch you everywhere all at once.

..” Okay, that sounded creepy and probably shouldn’t have been said out loud, but now that it was out there all I could do was just keep going.

“But facts are facts. When I was trapped in that car with someone trying to get in, I couldn’t bring myself to call you because that action could have put you in danger.

In that moment of truth, I found out I’d rather risk death than allow you to come to any harm.

” I shrugged, trying to play it cool when all I wanted was for him to say something.

Or move toward me. Or blink . “Look, it’s no big deal, all right?

I know this isn’t what you want, and I don’t expect anything from you, I swear.

You didn’t sign up for this. It just... is. So don’t freak out or stress about it.”

“Strong and brave,” he semi-repeated himself softly, before lifting a hand to cup my face. His palm was cool against what I was sure was a bright red cheek, but I couldn’t stop from leaning into his touch to enjoy that soothing coolness. “Do I look like I’m stressing?”

I was too afraid to look too closely. “It’s okay if you are.”

“ Stress isn’t the word to describe me when it comes to you.”

“What word would you use?”

“Obsessed.” I froze at the confession, half-certain he was going to take it back.

When he didn’t, my heart began to hammer against my sternum.

“I’ve been obsessed with you from the moment I laid eyes on you, Rory, and that’s the god’s honest truth.

Obsessed with your beauty. Obsessed with the shadows haunting your eyes.

Obsessed with helping you look past those shadows to see me, the real me.

Obsessed with healing you enough so you could find your way to someday loving me.

If I could make you love me half as much as I love you, I would have my heaven on earth. ”

A shudder rippled through me. It was the crumbling of the last of the invisible shackles that tied me to the pain of the past, the binds that kept me broken. As they fell, I suddenly felt lighter than air because for the first time in years, I was completely, joyously free .

I wasn’t sure who moved first. All that mattered was that Echo’s arms were wrapped around me so fiercely my feet lost contact with the floor.

My arms locked around his powerful neck, my heart hammering against his, matching him beat for frenzied beat.

His mouth crushed down on mine in a kiss that changed my world.

He loved me. That was all that mattered

“It’s kind of fitting this is happening while the sun is rising,” he said against my lips as he carried me down the hallway like I weighed nothing. “Being inside you, knowing you love me like I love you, is the dawn of a new beginning for us, baby girl. After this, nothing will ever be the same.”