Page 32 of Echo, the Sniper (Men of PSI #2)

“No.” The faintest shiver went through her, and as I watched the light drained from her eyes. “The last thing I’ll ever do is follow a strict mealtime.”

“Good. Me neither.” Shoving the first-aid kit back into the duffle bag, I zipped it up and dropped it in the backseat.

“I’m a firm believer in spontaneity, so I can make you a promise right now—I’ll never give a shit about when we eat.

As far as I’m concerned, 6:31 or any other damn time is a great time to sit down and enjoy your company while sharing a meal together.

That’s what would make a meal memorable for me, anyway—your company.

Looking into your eyes. Trying to make you smile.

Having you all to myself. Anything we’d eat would be secondary to being with you. ”

“You can’t say things like that,” she whispered on a shaky breath. “I’m trying to watch a stupid road for a stupid car, while you’re over there being so romantic all I want to do is fling myself onto your lap and kiss you silly.”

Heavy lust hit me hard, pushing out all other thoughts—except one. “As much as I’d love to go for a window-steaming make-out session, I’ve got to get you safe. Hopefully running Armstrong to ground will do that.”

“So, no make-out session?”

“Not right this second.” Though just hearing her desire to climb into my lap was enough to make me hard.

“My abuela would smack me in the head if I didn’t do all I could to keep you safe, so that means watching a stupid road for a stupid car.

We’ll have plenty of time for making out—and more—once we get this task crossed off our list.”

“I’m taking that as a promise, especially the and more part.” Her eyes were hot as they glanced at me, and god damn , I loved her attention. Knowing her eyes were on me sparked a fever in my blood so hot it was a wonder the car’s interior didn’t start to melt. “I’ve noticed something about you.”

Good. The more she focused on me, the better. “What?”

“You mention your grandmother and aunt a lot, but never your mother or father. Are they no longer alive?”

“Oh, that.” I lifted a shoulder and returned my attention to the road. “I never knew my father, so I don’t know if he’s alive or dead. The only thing I really know about him is the last name my mother put on the birth certificate. My mom, on the other hand... now she’s a different story.”

“How so?”

“She was a real wild-child—got pregnant with me when she was a teenager, and the half dozen times she dropped in on my life she’s made it clear she never wanted me. One time she even called me a mistake to my face.”

Her gasp was small, but I still heard it. “She didn’t.”

“She did.”

“But you’re perfect. You’re an absolute dream come to life, and no other man—no other person —can hold a candle to you when it comes to decency, dignity, compassion or courage. How could she not want a son like you? Maybe you were too young to understand what was going on around you, so maybe—”

“Rory,” I said gently, because damn, her sweet words made me feel important and worthy and so fucking seen , I could barely breathe, “the last time I saw my mother, it was during my high school graduation party.”

Again the light in her eyes dimmed. “Oh.”

“Tons of family and friends showed up, because it wasn’t just my abuela and tía who raised me.

It was our next-door neighbors, and my swimming coach down at the YMCA, my old babysitters, and all the people I used to walk their dogs for or mowed their lawns whenever I needed pocket change.

Swear to God, I think my tía and abuela invited every person I’d ever met to that party.

It was a real banger, one for the record books. ”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It was. The smoker was going full blast along with the grill, and we had speakers both inside and outside so everyone could dance wherever they were. We partied until the sun went down, and I’d been asked about two hundred times what my plans were now that I’d graduated.

” That made her laugh, and the sound of it had the power to make my skin tighten and my head light.

“Finally, the last event of the evening was cutting the cake that looked like a huge mortarboard, and opening all the graduation gifts that had been stacked up. Most of them were envelopes, because I was surrounded by amazingly kind people who knew I’d need whatever money I could get to start out my new life as an adult.

That was when my mother showed up. To this day I believe she was watching the house so she could swoop in at just the right time. ”

I caught her wince. “I take it she wasn’t there to congratulate you and leave an envelope of her own?”

I snorted, because that was funny in a sad and twisted way.

“Fuck, no. Though to be honest, when I first saw her walk through the door, I actually thought she was there for me, which felt... nice. Good. For about ten seconds, I basked in the feeling that she’d finally grown up enough to give a damn about me. ”

She made a gentle noise that was like a caress over nerves I hadn’t realized were now as taut as piano wire.

“That makes sense. No matter how old we get, we always want our parents to approve of us. To approve of the lives we’re living.

It doesn’t matter that they might not be living worthy lives themselves.

What matters is that crazy, irrational need for validation from the people who made us. ”

God, I loved how she understood. “I did want that validation,” I muttered gruffly, because my throat was tighter than I’d expected it to be.

“I wanted my mom to say she was proud of me. To be proud of me. But I don’t remember her ever saying anything like that.

She did say good job and flicked a finger at the tassel on the mortarboard I was still wearing like an idiot, before she scooped up the entire stack of envelopes and left. ”

Watching Rory’s jaw drop open was strangely satisfying. “ What ?”

I nodded. “Yep. She just casually helped herself to my graduation money and took off without another word. She didn’t get far, though. It seemed like everyone tried to jump her for trying to steal from me, and the person leading that charge was my abuela.”

“Oh, my God,” she breathed, clearly scandalized.

“Yeah, it was so dramatic it should’ve been on TV.

Abuela literally got her hands into her daughter’s hair and yanked her off her feet while my mom’s sister, my tía, snatched all the envelopes back while cussing her out for being a dirty thief.

That was when my mom insisted she wasn’t stealing a damn thing.

She said she was taking what she was fucking owed . ”

“Owed? Owed for what?”

“For raising me now that I was all grown up.” Even now, the audacity of that vile woman burned in me until it felt like I could breathe fire.

“But... wait, I’m confused.” Rory shook her head, and I couldn’t blame her. The actions of the woman who’d birthed me often had me shaking my head, too. “She didn’t raise you. She gave you over to your grandmother and aunt, didn’t she? I mean, you said you only saw her half a dozen times—”

“And I meant that.” The darkness of long-ago rage licked along the edges of my voice.

I scowled out the window and tried to push it back into the ignored corner of my soul where it belonged.

“I can literally count six separate times in my memory when my mother showed up during my childhood. Six. And each time she was gone within the hour. I’m amazed I even recognized her when she showed up that final time. ”

A surprising flash of anger brought her brows together. “So why did she assume she had any right to even speak to you, much less take your graduation money?”

“Because there are some people in this crazy-ass world who think they’re entitled to every fucking thing they want, and to hell with everyone else. That’s just who she is.”

A ghost of a shiver moved her shoulders. “I understand.”

Of course she understood. Her dick of an ex had been like that—a user who left more bad than good in his wake.

“She’d heard I was graduating—my tía spent an obscene amount of money on my senior photos, announcements and invitations.

But I guarantee you that my mom never would have known I was graduating high school without someone clueing her in.

That’s how out-of-touch she was with my life, so for her to claim she’d done anything other than abandon me was like spitting in my face and telling me it was rain. ”

“That’s exactly what it was.” Rory’s tone was low, measured, and practically vibrating with fury on my behalf.

It had happened years ago, and here she was, positively outraged for me.

I could hardly believe the compassion of this woman.

“Did your family murder her and bury her in the backyard? Because I’m thinking that would have been a viable option if I’d been there. ”

That startled a laugh out of me. “You’ve got a violent streak in you.”

“No. I’ve just discovered that I no longer have any tolerance for self-centered bullies, and if any violence happens to them, it’s because they’ve lived violently. Whatever happens, they’ve brought it upon themselves.”

“You’ve come such a long way.” I heard the admiration humming in my voice, but there was nothing I could do about it.

She was so brave, shaking off how her ex had beaten her down, so that she could now take her rightful place as the captain of her own destiny.

As far as I was concerned, there wasn’t a damn thing in this world that was stronger than Rory’s will.

“I kind of wish I’d known you back then.

I’d pay real money to see what you would’ve done to her. ”

“What I want to know is what everyone else did to her. Is she buried in the backyard?”

“Sadly, no. My abuela slapped her in the face, the first and only time she’d ever raised a hand to her own daughter, and it made my poor abuela burst into tears.

That pissed me off, because she’s a kind old lady, and my mother’s actions had pushed her to her limit.

So I went off on that bitch who birthed me—called her out on how she was a failure, not just as a mother but as a human being.

That she was a toxic, poisonous leech that didn’t care about anyone or anything but herself.

But most importantly she was a stranger to me, because her trashy ass had nothing to do with raising me to be the young man I’d become.

The only thing she was entitled to was my contempt, and maybe my foot in her ass if she kept trying to push my family and loved ones around.

I then threw her off the property and told her that I never wanted to see her again. I haven’t, and it’s been a blessing.”

“Good.” Rory’s voice was filled with such ferocity and unending support that it hit me in the gut like a physical blow.

“You know what, though? I almost feel sorry for her, for not taking the time to get to know what an amazing person her son is. Your grandmother and aunt did an incredible job in raising you.”

“They would agree with you.”

“They should.” She laughed, and it struck me that she was starting to laugh more, and I couldn’t get enough of that sound. “I know this is probably going to sound strange, but I’ve realized something recently.”

“What?”

“The people who haunt us the most... their ghosts come from us , not from the people in our pasts. Part of learning how to survive toxic people, I think, is learning how to let their ghosts go.”

“Have you learned how to do that, baby girl?” I searched her face, and thought I glimpsed the answer even before she nodded.

“I’m in the process, anyway. Self-realization is never easy, but when it’s tied to self-preservation, you get a certain clarity.

When tangled up with a user, a liar, or a taker rather than a giver, I’m learning to not blame myself for how they went out of their way to screw me over.

It’s their fault they did what they did, so just cut them loose and walk away. Life will be better off without them.”

Guilt curled in the pit of my stomach, and I found myself reaching for her hand before I could stop myself. Trying to hold onto her. “Not everyone is Dane Grant, Rory. Not everyone who lies is out to screw you over.”

Her brows shot up, and she snapped a glance my way before looking back to the road. “Are you saying some liars are good?”

“No. No, but—”

“Dark green Subaru Forester with orange details,” she blurted, pointing excitedly with her bandaged hand. “Is that Josiah’s car?”

I snapped my head around.

Fuck, I’d forgotten why we were there.

Then I caught sight of the car driving off into the proverbial sunset and reached for the ignition. “Yeah, that’s it. Buckle up. This guy could hold the answer to everything.”