Page 58 of Duress (Birch Falls #3)

“Are you ready?” Serena comes up behind me, a concerned expression on her face when our eyes meet in the reflection of the mirror I’ve been planted in front of for the last five minutes.

I was supposed to be following her outside to the garden to say my marriage vows to the most incredible man I’ve ever known.

But one last “quick check” of my lipstick has turned into a minor existential crisis as my mind tries to sabotage what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

It makes absolutely no sense to be this nervous.

I love Dane. I want to marry him. I have no doubts about him or how much he loves me.

How good he is for me. How perfect we are together.

Caroline has wholeheartedly embraced our relationship without a single hesitation.

The last two years with him have been the happiest of my life.

We are in sync in all things, and a romance novelist couldn’t conjure a more perfect relationship than ours.

So why am I standing here, rooted to this spot, letting irrational terror hold me hostage with invisible tethers?

“Hey, Ever, you okay?” Serena immediately picks up on my internal conflict and plants herself in front of me, forcing my gaze to hers. The confident, reassuring warmth of her honey-gold eyes is an immediate balm to my nerves. “Talk to me, Everly.”

“Why do I feel so scared? I want this. I want to marry Dane. I love him. Why do I feel like I’m getting ready to jump off a cliff?”

To Serena’s credit, she doesn’t just immediately start spouting platitudes about how everyone gets the pre-wedding jitters and true love, blah, blah, blah . Her eyes take on a thoughtful look as she considers my confession.

“Because you are.” Her husky voice is very matter of fact, not pandering at all.

“You have done this before, and it ended in just about the worst possible way imaginable. You know how awful it can get if it turns out to be the wrong choice. You’ve lived through it.

You survived it, and you love Dane so much you are willing to do it again.

You are willing to face the scariest thing you’ve ever lived through, head on again, for love.

It’s not easy to turn off that instinctual self-preservation after having to adapt to it.

Give yourself some grace. You’re allowed to be a little scared.

It’d be silly not to be. But all the best moments in life are the result of doing something that scares us. ”

I think back to how scared I was when I first proposed the idea of Ever After to Dane, and how unsure I was if we would be able make it work.

And now, I am doing the most rewarding work of my life.

I think back to how scared I was when I decided to tell Dane the truth about his father’s death, and how it was the first time in over a decade my soul finally felt unburdened.

I think about how scared I was when I took the time for myself after Bryce’s death and made myself find my own happiness, and how it made me the woman that was worthy and ready to accept Dane’s love.

Nodding, I close my eyes against the sting of tears threatening to fall, in a desperate bid to salvage my eye makeup.

“You’re right.” I pull Serena in for a hug as the fear that has been paralyzing me is overtaken by an overwhelming sense of assuredness, with a healthy side of excitement, to be marrying Dane.

We hold each other for a solid minute as I will my racing nerves to calm.

Once I feel calm enough, I give Serena one last squeeze before pulling away.

“Thank you.”

Serena’s lips quirk into a grin, “No problem. Now let’s go get you married before he gets impatient and breaks down the door to come looking for you. You made him wait long enough as it is.”

I laugh as I let Serena tug me out of bedroom I used to get ready in and through the back door to Caroline’s backyard garden.

My breath catches in my lungs when my eyes find Dane standing under a trellis covered in lavender wisteria blooms. He’s wearing a white button-down with his sleeves rolled up, topped with a waist coat, a blue so dark it resembles the color of the ocean under a full moon, and I am stunned by his beauty.

And by the absolute unadulterated loving devotion shining from his eyes as he watches me march down the makeshift aisle, made by the friends and family gathered for our small, intimate wedding ceremony.

With a guest list of only a handful of friends, Bethany, and our parents, and Kai officiating as a very freshly and very officially ordained-by-a-not-at-all-sketchy-website minister, this wedding is ten times smaller and infinitely more intimate than my wedding to Bryce, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kai doesn’t even get to finish saying the sentence “You may now kiss…” before Dane’s lips are on mine, and he is promising his soul to mine through this kiss. I return his kiss with fervor and make the same promise in return.

The End