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NAVY

Fresh sheets, a warm blanket, and the smell of fresh laundry detergent; is this what heaven feels like? If so, I’m definitely there.

I slept like a baby. I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night without waking up once. I feel incredible.

Sleep is something that doesn’t come easy to me. I typically have a routine at night to help me relax. Even living with Jared?—

Jared.

Oh, god. It’s all coming back to me now.

The date. The kiss. He kicked me out.

I slept like the dead.

My body flies forward and I open my heavy eyes to take in my surroundings.

Callaway.

Why am I looking at a photo of my brother on the mound and a million and one of his trophies lined up on a shelf?

My eyes dart to my suitcases, neatly tucked in the corner of the room, the en suite bathroom off to the side, and my boots placed neatly by the side of the bed.

For the love of god. Am I naked?

My hands find the soft white blanket covering me as I lift them with the intensity I’m known for to check what I’m working with.

Clothes.

Thank you, Navy Hayes, for having some common sense last night. Clothes are a good thing. This is good.

I know exactly where I am. I wasn’t drunk, just on the brink of exhaustion.

All the details come rushing back from last night, and I can now vividly remember how I ended up at the guys’ house—finding only Bodhi at home.

I don’t know what I was thinking.

I’m not surprised that Bodhi was adamant about arranging things to ensure I was comfortable and had a safe place to stay, but I could have figured something else out. When Luke and I started having more problems than usual, Bodhi was there for me. He always ensured I knew I had a place to stay if needed. He was the kind of friend I needed at the time until I went and fucked it all up.

I stayed in a hotel for two months after my breakup with Luke, and when I realized I was blowing my entire savings, Jared offered for me to crash with him.

It seemed like a no-brainer at the time. We were only friends, always had been. I never would have thought two months after moving in with my friend that he would be telling me to leave. Now that I feel more clear-minded, I realize what an ass Jared was last night. He made me feel so small for not reciprocating his feelings and being honest with him.

Instead of being angry, though, I feel hurt. It’s like he expected me to fall for him right away and to be okay with him kissing me without my permission.

Well, I’m not. I wasn’t.

I’m ready to date, but I want a man. I want a real man who will put me first and love every part of me. I deserve that, and I refuse to settle until I find it.

One tiny problem: I need to figure out how to date.

Luke and I were together since high school, and our relationship all those years was lukewarm and lacking in intention.

I want the opposite.

I want fire and passion.

I want to feel like I can’t keep my hands to myself because I’m so infatuated. I want full body chemistry—inward and outward.

I’m confident I’ll find it, I just need to train myself on some things.

But right now, I need to change into clean clothes, gather my things, and find another place to stay.

* * *

After changing into a matching workout set and sneakers, I gather my things and head downstairs. I don’t know what I plan on saying to Bodhi, but I’m confident he will have questions. I remember crying. It seems I’m unable to contain my emotions around the man, who constantly has to console me.

I know it makes him uncomfortable—at least, that’s what I tell myself.

I need to talk to him quickly, thank him for letting me crash, and be on my way. I need to run or something to get this anxiety that’s sitting in the center of my chest out. It’s smothering me.

My weary eyes search for the first sight of human life, finding Bodhi cooking over the stove in nothing but athletic shorts.

Good fucking morning to me. What a sight.

Not that I haven’t ever seen Bodhi shirtless, but this domestic side of him is sexy as hell.

Nope, Navy. We are not going there. He’s so emotionally unavailable, it’s hilarious even to contemplate the idea at this point.

Since he has yet to notice me, I drop my heavy luggage on the tiled flooring and hope it makes him turn around.

It does.

He instantly perks up as I come into view. “Navy, hey. How’d you sleep?” He almost looks shocked to see me, like he forgot I imposed myself on his Friday night plans.

I haven’t moved an inch and am unsure if I will. The distance between us feels safer. “Good, thank you. Thank you for letting me crash here. I’m sorry for showing up so late.”

I’m embarrassed.

Bodhi has enough going on, and the last thing he needs is me throwing my meaningless problems at him. However, there aren’t very many people for me to call. My parents live in the suburbs of Atlanta, and my brother, Callaway, is now married to my best friend, Dakota, but everyone calls her “Kodi.” They offered me a room at their newly renovated house, but I can’t. I love them both more than anything, but I won’t invade their new life together. They deserve to enjoy each other for a while.

He nods. “Anytime. I made eggs and bacon if you’re hungry.”

I take a couple of steps in his direction, and the smell of his cooking overwhelms my senses. It smells delicious.

I’m starving, but I’m also stubborn.

“That’s okay. I should probably go.”

He stares at me like he doesn’t know how to act, which I get, but it throws me off guard. His eyes drift to my suitcases before he shoots his head up in question. “You’re not staying?”

He’s always worried about me. He shouldn’t, though. I can handle myself fine most days.

I shake my head slowly; I don’t want to disappoint him when he’s already helped me so much.

“It’s better if I don’t.” I know it, and he knows it too.

His massive frame slumps in dismay. Interesting.

This gives me a second to take Bodhi in.

Massive is an understatement when it comes to Bodhi’s size.

He’s enormous; linebacker huge.

His thighs are thick and strong. How can leg muscles look so carved and rigid? He feels close to seven feet, towering over everyone he meets. Being a Major League catcher of his caliber calls for epic strength with the amount of squatting and hustling on the ground they do.

His size is an asset to his game.

I can imagine hundreds of other things his size could be an asset for.

But I won’t.

Bodhi’s tan and muscular chest is all I see. So many ripples and valleys complement his broad shoulders—seductively, if I might add.

The span of those sculpted shoulders leads to the face I see in my dreams. I follow the curve of his Adam’s apple to his sharp and defined jawline and cheekbones. His hair is dirty blond—with more blond than brown. The contrast to his bright green eyes is euphoric. I typically stereotype blond men with a lazy surfer vibe.

Bodhi is a heavy contrast to that preconceived judgment.

He reminds me of a Calvin Klein model—except bigger.

Sexier. More manly. Elevated with an edge.

I’m a dirty girl for imagining the thin white fabric of some too-small Calvin briefs clinging to him.

I bet he fills them.

Models typically embody a level of confidence that’s difficult to match. Despite the hell Bodhi has been through over the years, and I don’t even know the half of it, his confidence is staggering. He makes no apologies for who he is and no effort to change. I find that incredibly attractive.

He saves his kindness for those he cares about, and right now, it seems he cares a lot about me. The eggs and bacon are a dead giveaway.

Similar to last night, and the past five months, to be honest.

I should be running toward him, but I won’t. He clarified where he stands in Fiji, and I’ll never cross that line with him again.

I just need my stupidly smitten heart to catch up.

I don’t know how long I’ve been ogling him, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Thankfully, I realize how long I’ve been fantasizing and look to him to speak.

He looks pissed, and I can think of multiple reasons why—all of which include me. Which one could it be?

“I’m waiting.” Huh? Did he say something?

I blink momentarily before answering him, “Waiting on what?”

“For you to tell me who I need to fucking kill.”

Oh. Bodhi’s arms cross at his chest, as if he means business and won’t let me leave until he has answers.

Why did I think he would let me escape and pretend last night never happened? I’m aware I don’t owe him answers. However, I did show up at his house unannounced in the middle of the night, forcing him to take care of me. I can at least give him something.

“Oh. It was nothing. Jared told me I had to move out and I had nowhere else to go.”

Shit. That sounded worse than I meant it. Bodhi wasn’t my last resort. Well, he was. He would have been my first had this been months ago, but lately, his position on my slim list of dependables is at the bottom—the very, very bottom.

My worried eyes meet his feral ones. “Down, you barbarian. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“What exactly would you need to handle, Navy?”

Why must he always be so thorough? He’s asking too many damn questions.

I cross my arms in a huff. “Bodhi, drop it.”

He takes a slow step toward me with his eyes never leaving, then takes two more, putting him directly in front of me.

For being a taller woman, I suddenly feel tiny.

A thrill rushes through me from his proximity, but I shut that sucker down and lift my chin high, proving to him I’m unfazed. I hope he doesn’t leave my stare to catch sight of the goosebumps spreading across my skin.

He smirks; it’s lethal and brash. He doesn’t give a shit how overbearing he’s being. I hate it and love it all the same. It feels oddly relieving to know I have someone other than my brother looking out for me.

But why does it have to be Bodhi?

I can’t let myself be hurt by him again.

But it’s incredibly hot to watch him go from sweet to lethal for me in a matter of seconds. Too bad it’s all an act, though, and I’ve learned my lesson firsthand.

His giant frame stops inches away from mine as he traces the corner of his full lips with his thumb. His stare is deadly. I need him to yell at me or something, and get it over with so I can be on my way.

“I’m gonna give you ten seconds to spit it out, or I’m going to m?—”

“You’ll what? Spank me?” Oops. I said that out loud.

The sly barbarian chuckles under his breath, “You and I both know how much you would like that. I wouldn’t call that a fair punishment.”

Easy, boy. You know I like them snappy.

But where is all of this frustration coming from?

I shake my head at his arrogance. “You’re right. It seems I’m the only one who can speak what I feel.”

Would you look at that? He’s silent.

Bodhi shows his emotions in every aspect of his life, except for his romantic feelings for me, apparently.

He nods as if he accepts my words, but chooses to ignore them. “Don’t make me ask again, Navy. The food is getting cold. And you’ve seen how savage I get when I’m hungry.”

Jesus Christ. I know exactly what he’s implying.

My heart is hammering out of my chest, and I don’t know how to stop it.

My only option at this point is to tell him.

After that, I’m gone.

I have no idea where I’ll go, but anything is better than in the path of Bodhi’s unhinged wrath.

I spit out the details of last night in one breath. “You know I’ve been living with Jared for two months. Well, a couple of days ago, he asked me out on a date. We went out last night. I hated every second of it. He tried to kiss me. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He told me to leave, and here I am. There, you heard it. Now, I’m leaving. Thank you again for letting me stay here for the night.”

I need to run, and fast.

I quickly spin to grab my suitcases and step toward the front door. A strong hand gently grabs my upper arm and turns me back. Instead of planting myself exactly where I was before, I lose my balance and fall straight into Bodhi’s gigantic body.

The second our bodies touch, the exhale of his breath heats the side of my neck, and I could combust on the spot. I freeze, realizing how close we are.

Deciding that against his chest is the last place I should be right now, I attempt to brace myself enough to pull away, but Bodhi has other plans.

He slowly runs the calluses of his hands from my elbow up and secures his hold below my shoulders, forcing me to give him my full attention.

He craves eye contact.

“What do you mean he tried to kiss you? Make no mistake, Navy, I’ll march my happy ass straight to Jared’s place and find out for myself if you don’t want to tell me.”

“Could you be any more dramatic?”

“I want to make sure you’re okay and he didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable.”

Ignore it, Navy. Don’t let him get to you. Vagina flutters are temporary, and your independence is not.

I’m trying too hard to convince myself.

One thing about me that makes my life incredibly difficult—I will do anything to make sure I never disappoint anyone I care about.

It’s ingrained in my sad and pathetic DNA now, and I don’t know how to fix it.

I bet it feels liberating to do what you want without a care who knows or sees it.

I will admit, though, that I don’t find it as difficult to rebel against Bodhi’s expectations. Maybe it’s because he’s already hurt me, leaving me careless, or perhaps it’s because despite him hurting me, I still care.

I’ll give him my cooperation just this once.

Then, he can expect my rebellion.

“Meaning, I thought the date was over—turns out it wasn’t. Jared kissed me, giving me no opportunity to deny it, and I felt like shit for turning him down when he shared how he felt about me, so I asked him to be friends. You can connect the dots. Now I’m homeless, hence me showing up at your door late at night.”

I’m getting more annoyed by the second, enunciating every word that leaves my mouth. I hope he catches my drift.

Last night, I was hurt—now I want to bury it and forget it ever happened.

Bodhi is eerily still and quiet, too. I stand and wait for him to respond. I hope he does so soon because I need time to call Tenley and see if I can crash with her for the night.

“Give me your phone.” Excuse me?

He’s so demanding. “I beg your pardon. Why do you need my phone?”

He will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands. I don’t answer to anyone.

“Because as soon as the fucking fire racing through my veins burns out, I’m gonna take that heat and light Jared the fuck up.”

“You really are dramatic. Did you take theater? I bet you were the leading actor.” I can’t help but giggle.

I’m not amusing him. “Are you done yet?”

“Pshh, no. You said you would light Jared ‘the fuck up’ through the phone. What are you, pyrokinetic?”

“Give me your phone, Navy.”

Fat chance of that happening, barbarian.

“Absolutely not.”

In the time it takes me to process the seriousness of his demand, Bodhi somehow manages to snatch the phone from my hands and get to work.

Yeah, good luck with that, buddy. It’s password-secured.

“You don’t even know the pass?—”

“121709.”

My jaw drops. How did he know that? I’ve never given him the password, so that makes no se?—

“It’s the date your family adopted Callaway. You forgot he’s my best friend, Navy. I know a lot more than you think.” He doesn’t spare me a glance as he collects Jared’s number and hands my phone back like he didn’t invade my privacy like an overprotective boyfriend.

Because he’s the farthest thing from that.

I need him to back off.

“What’s your plan? You gonna call him and demand he be nice to me?” I ask him with bitterness.

Blatantly ignoring me, Bodhi returns to the stove and resumes preparing his precious bacon and eggs. “For a rainy day.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

Ugh. He’s infuriating.

Time to leave before I do something stupid.

I promptly move to the exit and thank my lucky stars. I don’t hear him follow, and I feel a little sad at the thought. As much as I appreciate everything he does for me and how he helped me through such a hard season, I know this is for the best.

“Oh, and Navy?” Not so fast, after all.

I plant myself close to the front door. I don’t hear him moving, so he must have called me from where he’s standing.

I’m not responding.

“You’re staying here. Don’t test me on that.”

My lips curl in a deceptive smile.

We’ll see about that…