Page 30 of Drive Me Wild (Drive Me #2)
THIRTY
JOSIE
A week after I tell Theo we’re through, I meet him at my favorite ice cream parlor. Neutral territory, except for the fact that the employees know my name and order by heart. Well, they know Theo’s name, too, but only because he’s been here with me a few times. And probably because his face graces the front of tabloid magazines every week .
I pass the glass case filled with dozens of flavors as I make my way to the two syrup dispensers Theo’s camped out by. God, he’s gorgeous. Brown hair brushed away from his face, stubble marking his chiseled jaw, blue eyes so beautiful, I could drown in them. Every person in the shop stares at him with their phone cameras playing amateur paparazzi. I don’t blame them. He’s breathtakingly beautiful. He’s also so used to the attention that it doesn’t even register for him.
“‘Ello, angel,” he greets me, a lopsided smile appearing on his lips. “Thanks for meeting me.”
Theo’s called and texted me so many times in the past few days, I thought my phone was going to self-implode. I didn’t answer him until now, knowing my emotions were too raw to have a productive conversation.
I don’t get a word in before Marco—my favorite employee—thrusts a bumpy, freshly-made waffle cone into my hand. Two scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream sprinkled with gummy bears sit on top. My go-to order. He gives Theo a kid’s size cup of vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, even though he has a stellar memory and is fully aware that Theo likes pistachio ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. It’s like he knows Theo acted like a child and, therefore, should be treated like one.
Marco scoffs at our attempt to pay for our treats. “On the house,” he says, throwing me a wink.
Even if Kelsey gives the go-ahead on pursuing my ice cream sandwich shop idea, I’ll always be loyal to this place. This kind of customer service earns allegiance.
Theo chuckles at the staff’s familiarity with me—it never fails to amaze him. Who needs bottle service when you can have ice cream shop service? I’ll take that over bottles of Veuve any day of the week.
“I want to apologize,” Theo says as I dig into my ice cream. He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. “I was a selfish prick, Jos, and I’m so sorry.”
I lick the sugary mix of smooth ice cream and bits of cookie dough to buy myself some time. I’ve rehearsed what I want to say a million times, but now I can no longer remember a single word. This is why I didn’t get a real role in my school’s play production: stage fright.
It takes me a few more moments to find my voice. “You really hurt me. I told you about an opportunity I’m excited for, and the only thing you wanted to know was what it meant for you.”
Theo nods. “I know. I wasn’t sure what to say, and I overreacted, Jos. I acted like what I wanted is more important than what you want, and that wasn’t fair of me. There’s no excuse for my behavior.”
“You could’ve said you were happy for me. That it’s an amazing opportunity,” I say softly. “That it may be an adjustment, but that you’d fight for us.”
Theo rests his elbows on the table and searches my face. His blue eyes are glassy, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. “You’re right. That is what I should’ve said because I am happy for you and it is an amazing opportunity. And even if I’m terrified of losing you, I sure as hell am going to fight for us. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Confusion floods through me, making me lightheaded. “What do you mean, you’re scared to lose me? What would make you think that might happen?”
Theo swipes at his eyes and turns to the wall to shield his face from the onlookers. “Because if you leave McAllister behind, then maybe you’ll leave me behind, too. You’ll realize that I’m not your favorite person. That there’s someone else who can love you better than I can.”
I’m not used to seeing this vulnerable side of Theo—walls stripped down, heart completely exposed, waiting for me to nurture it or rip it to shreds. I’m suddenly not in the mood for my ice cream anymore.
“I couldn’t leave you behind even if I wanted to,” I say gently. “We promised we’d always be best friends, yeah?”
The hopeful spark in his eyes fades and makes my stomach churn. “Is that all we are, Jos? Friends?”
I don’t want to say it out loud, but I have to.
“I think friends is what’s best for us both,” I admit quietly. “At least for right now. When you reacted that way, it broke my heart. And I started second-guessing if it was a silly idea. If you were right. If Formula 1 is, and should stay, my life.”
A strangled noise comes from Theo. “I’m an idiot.”
“I’m not disputing that,” I say with a small smile. “But I have to decide what I want my future to look like on my own, without worrying about how you—or anyone else—will react. I’ve gone from one relationship to the next, but now is my chance to be alone and figure myself out for a change. I owe myself that much.”
“And while I’m sorting out my own stuff,” I add, “you can decide if McAllister is the right team for you, whether I’m there to handle your social media or not.”
He flinches at my words. “Don’t… don’t give up on us,” he says quietly. “Please, Josie.”
I grab his hand in mine and give it a squeeze. It’s sticky from the ice cream dripping down, but Theo doesn’t seem to mind. He intertwines our fingers, gripping my hand so tightly, I’m nervous I may lose circulation.
“I’m not giving up on us, Theo,” I promise. “The farthest thing from it. I’m giving us a chance. But I need to figure things out for me , not the me that’s in a relationship. I’ve always put other people first, and for once in my life, I need to put myself first to prove that I can handle the big stuff alone.”
Theo nods slowly, letting my words sink in. His death grip on my hand gradually relaxes and blood rushes to my hand. Christ. I sometimes forget how much muscle he has. Personality of a golden retriever, muscle mass of a goddamn German shepherd.
“Okay, angel.” He pauses before nodding. “If you think this is what’s best… I trust you, eh? I won’t give up on us, either. I mean it when I say I’m going to fight for us.”
I release the deep breath I’ve been holding hostage in my chest. I expected Theo to argue with me, to dig his heels into the sand and push and plead until he got his way. To scream, kick, and fight his way back into a relationship. Because that’s Theo. A few years ago, he talked Blake out of getting arrested for trying to undress a cop he thought was a stripper. He has a way with words that few have blades sharp enough to fight.
Instead, he’s respecting my space and listening to what I need. He’s giving me hope that we can work out.
He’s letting me choose myself.