Page 29 of Drive Me Wild (Drive Me #2)

TWENTY-NINE

THEO

Each day in Zandvoort without Josie seems to be just a little longer than the last, and my anticipation reaches new heights as I near my return date to London. Knowing it was just one race weekend of many is all that kept me sane. Especially with Avery lurking about, making offhand remarks about my “subpar” performance. Fucker.

Josie appears on my doorstep ten minutes after I’m back from the airport. An all-encompassing sense of lightness floods through me as I hold her—it’s a rejuvenating shot of adrenaline straight to my heart and head. Our lips connect, savoring and exploring as if the four days apart were four years. God, I fucking missed her. One Grand Prix without her was one Grand Prix too many. She leans back and briefly nestles her cheek against my chest.

“Hi, angel,” I murmur into her hair. “Missed you.”

Josie smiles up at me. “How much?”

I take the clip out of her hair, running my hands through her blonde locks. “I lost a game of Halo because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Wow.” She whistles softly. “That’s a lot.”

“Mm-hmm.” I tug her inside with interlaced fingers. My hand stays clasped with hers as we walk to the living room and settle on the couch, our limbs intertwined like some tantric yoga position.

“I want to talk to you about something big.” Josie grins widely and claps her hands together adorably. “ Very big.”

“What is it?” I have no clue where this conversation is going, but I’m dying to know what has her this excited.

Her narrowed eyes suddenly shine with delight. “Kelsey wants to start a hospitality group. Well, he’s technically already started one. I’m not really in the know with that side of the business, but anyway. The even more exciting part is…” she drums her hands against my thigh, “he asked me to be the head of marketing!”

A shiver runs over my skin like a ghostly touch. “Full-time?”

She nods. “Yes. There’s no way I could work for him and McAllister and help Ella out with the podcast. Although El may be hiring her own team soon, but still.”

“Are you accepting it?” I couldn’t keep the edge out of my voice even if I wanted to. “I thought you only wanted to consult.”

That’s what you told me .

“I haven’t decided. Originally, yes, it was simply freelance, but this is an unreal opportunity.” She shrugs nonchalantly, as if her words aren’t crashing over me like waves during a storm. “I’d be able to build out my own team and everything. Can you imagine me being someone’s boss? I mean, I technically boss you and Blake around, but this is an official boss title. Cool, right?”

“I, uh?—”

“And listen to this!” Josie says, her eyes lit with excitement. “When I was at Gemini the other day, I was craving ice cream. I mean, when am I not craving ice cream? But I was really craving it then, more than usual. But I was also craving a cookie. It got me thinking. What if we created an artisanal ice cream sandwich shop? Customers could choose their cookie—snickerdoodle, sugar, chocolate chip, fudge brownie—and then whatever ice cream flavor they wanted. Kelsey says if I come up with a real proposal, we can discuss it! Doesn’t that sound to die for?”

Josie leaving McAllister isn’t part of my plan. I need her.

“Theo? Are you okay?” Josie rests her hand on my forearm. “You look like you’re getting a root canal, for Christ’s sake.”

Usually, I’d laugh at Josie’s ridiculous comparison, but I’m too focused on reeling in the red-hot betrayal swirling through my veins. My throat burns and I readjust myself, causing her legs to fall out of my lap. “You’d be leaving me.”

A carefree laugh slips through her lips. “I wouldn’t be leaving you, babes. I’d be leaving McAllister.”

They’re one and the same. “And you’re fine with that?”

“You yourself said that McAllister isn’t the end all, be all for me,” Josie says, the casualness of her voice turning to confusion. “You encouraged me to share my talents with more people.”

“Key word being share , not use them all somewhere else,” I snap, anger flashing in my eyes. “When did he offer you the job?”

“After the tasting. I tried to tell you on the phone, but there was never a good time.” Josie’s smile falters. “Why are you upset? I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“Well, apparently I don’t make you happy if you want to leave me.”

“Of course you make me happy. Don’t be ridiculous,” she says hastily. “I-I just think this could make me happy, too. I have a chance to create something really cool from the ground up. Not only a company that I believe in, but one that believes in me, too. This has nothing to do with you. I promise.”

“It does if you’re leaving McAllister.” My voice cuts through each word with razor-sharp precision. I slink further down the couch to put some space between us. “It has everything to do with us.”

“I love you and what we have together,” she says firmly. “No job is going to change that.”

Taking a deep breath, I nod absentmindedly. Almost as if her words are just that, words. “You leaving McAllister will fundamentally change our relationship. Change my life. If I sign McAllister’s contract, who’s going to handle my social media? I was only fine with that if it was you . You can’t leave. You just can’t.”

Now it’s Josie who moves back to put space between us. “So you want me to turn down a really amazing offer because it means I’d have a life of my own outside of Formula 1? Outside of you?”

“Formula 1 is our life! It’s us , Josie. How do you not see that?”

Her wry laugh makes the hairs on my arms stand up. “Since when is our relationship dependent on me working for Formula 1? You’re being unreasonable, Theo.”

“You saw how we barely spoke last weekend. You couldn’t even find time to tell me something huge . It’ll be like that every weekend. Living two completely separate lives. I can’t do that. I won’t, Josie.”

My words hang in the air between us, sucking up the oxygen and making it hard to breathe. The way Josie’s shoulders turn inward sends a chill through me. As if I’m not the first man who’s let her down, and I won’t be the last.

“I always knew your career came first for you… I just didn’t realize it had to for me as well,” she says, her voice scarily detached. Rather than hot cocoa, her eyes look like quicksand, telling me that I’ve fallen and there’s no escape route. We’re not making it out of this situation without one of us drowning. “So this,” she waves to the space between us, “doesn’t work for me, either.”

I don’t say a damn word. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Everything I should say catches in my throat, unable to get past the massive lump forming.

Josie walks out without a backward glance. I’m not even worth another look. An unbearably sharp pain takes hold of my body that seems to stretch on forever. It takes me a moment to realize it’s not a heart attack, it’s just a broken heart.